VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

A premature invitation to my most loyal hippyfans!

Greetings my beloved hippyfans and fuckers alike!

As promised, I’m relaunching myself online! The new site is 99% completed and we’ve only got a couple of minor tweaks to take care of, but I’m ready for you to have a look!

As hippyfans that have stuck with me over the years, I’d like you to be the first visitors to my brand new site! How fucking lucky are you?

Get ready to bookmark…

northlondonhippy.com

Or you could grab one of my many syndication feeds, which are available on the main page. I’ve got many flavours including RSS, so you don’t have to come to the hippy, you can make the hippy come to you!

Of course, every new beginning also means an ending and my blogspot blog is coming to a close with this very entry. Thank you Blogger, for giving me a home for so long, but I’m all grown up now and fleeing your nest!

So what can you expect from my new website?

It’s the same old hippy goodness you’ve come to love and maybe lust after a little bit, but in a shinier, flashier, new wrapper! My new site is slick, professional and worthy of your valuable surfing time.

My entire archive, all 414 original hippy posts are now on the new site too, so you don’t have any need to come back to this one, ever again!

So what are you waiting for! I don’t need to be telling you about it, you can see for yourself….

northlondonhippy.com

Thanks for stopping by, I hope you dig my new site as much as I do!

Cheers from the hippy!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Oh fuckers, fuckers, fuckers, I do disappoint you so!

I’m sorry I’m always apologising for my recent lack of participation and interest, but weird this phase of the hippy will be coming to a close soon enough.

Why?

Because in the not too distant future, I’ll be re-launching this blog in a very big way!

I’ve contracted a team of crack web designers to completely overhaul my site. Expect all the regular hippy goodness you’ve become accustom to, perhaps even addicted to, but in a slicker, shinier package!

Besides the redesign, I’m going to be adding some very special features as well as changing the way I blog. It’s all fucking exciting!

Can you feel it? Can you? CAN YOU? Fuckers!

I’d like to kindly ask all of my loyal hippyfans to please bear with me during this transitional phase. My appearances here will continue to be occasional until the new blog launches, hopefully in the next month or so, but no promises!

While I’m here, I’ll share a couple of newsworthy notes.

The Independent newspaper is reporting that recreational use of nitrous oxide is on the increase here in the UK, and you can read their story RIGHT HERE.

I’ve actually got a mate who goes to clubs and punts balloons full of N20 and is making a decent profit from it.

Back in the 80s, I used to get canisters of it. They were the little ones used in whipped cream makers, which you can still get today. Check out THIS WEBSITE, which is mentioned in the Indy article.

I just might need to order some myself! Though they only take PayPal, so I might reconsider since I don’t have an account.

The other story I want to call your attention to is from SKY NEWS and quite handily I can actually provide you with THIS LINK to the actual tv report.

It seems the UK’s most conservative broadcaster is trying to piss all over my party. Just like they did with my beloved and now dearly departed shrooms!

Well, fuck ‘em! If they take the current herbal highs away, some clever clogs will come up with the next generation! It’s big business here in the UK, something like £10 million per year. That sort of dosh is serious and it’s a market they won’t let go of easily!

And yes, I subscribe to SKY, I adore my SKY+ and I’m not too bothered by their politics! I just like good television and the SKY digital platform is the best one available here in the UK. I apologise for nothing!

Anyway fuckers, thanks for dropping by. As you can see, I am still living that hippy life, so you don’t need to!

And when I re-launch my blog, look out, I won’t be the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of for much longer!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Here's the thing...

I know I'm supposed to be re-committed to this blog and all that, but my time continues to be limited. I've got too much to do and never enough time to do it!

But I haven't forgotten you all, oh no! I'm still livin' that hippy life so you don't need to!

But here's the really big fucking news....

I'm going to officially relaunch this blog, ideally next month!

I've hired a crack team of webdesigners to work on my new site.

Ok, by team I actually mean my younger brother and I haven't hired him so much as asked him to do it as a favour for me.

But still, I'm going to relaunch. The hippy is going to be a proper, fully functional website, just like your mother used to make!

It's gonna be all kinds of good!

It's going to be the best website in the history of the internet, ever!

Well, maybe not, but it will be chock full of my special brand of drivel!

I promise it that all your northlondonhippy dreams will come true on this one page!

Are you feeling me? Are you? ARE YOU?

It's about time I re-asserted myself here on the world wide thingy-ma-bob!

I've got opinions, dammit and they're worth sharing! I count, I matter, I'm important, if only to myself!

You thought you knew this hippy, well fuckers, you ain't seen nothing yet!

As soon as the new site is flying the hippyflag high I'll post all the details you need to know to dig on your own home computer. Ain't technology grand!

Until the big relaunch, you'll still get the occasional visit here from me, but when that new site is up, look out, I'll be pestering you all as much as you can take it!

So if you're a long time hippyfan or brand new to all things hippy, strap yourself in, it's gonna be the ride of your goddamn life! Fuckers!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

The one true genius of the 21st century is now open for business.

I mean me, of course.

Why am I the one true genius of the 21st century?

Simple, because I know that I don’t know everything and I never will. That makes me smarter than your parents; I bet they’re real know-it-alls! They don’t know dick!

Neither do I, but I’m honest about it. So take that, fuckers!

I’m just filling time, in my night, on this blog and in my life. My life remains in a holding pattern, I’m still circling the airport and when I’ll touchdown is anyone’s guess.

Remember I went on and on that 2005 was the year of the hippy? I lied, but I’m coming clean now.

I really thought 2005 was going to be my year. All the signs were there, it was looking good. So where did I go wrong?

If I had the answer to that one, my fine feathered fuckers, I’d be in a position not to repeat my mistakes. We’re all doomed to repeating our mistakes eternally!

But this hippy’s persistent and it takes more than a bad year (decade? lifetime??) to discourage me! That’s why I decided this blog will live on! I’m still formulating a big re-launch though and as soon as I know what form that will take, I’ll let all my hippyfans know!

The podcast idea didn’t really work out, but hey, maybe I should give it another try. Half my problem was I recorded it with a PC's shitty internal microphone, which did my novelty hippy-voice no favours. Perhaps I’ll try again with my better kit.

But will that make a difference? Fuck knows. Maybe I’m just rubbish?

Bullfuckingshit! I’m anything but rubbish! I’m a future god to all!

If only! I should be your god (not that old shit again), because I’d be a great god! I already know what you’re thinking….that hippycock is very suckable!

In your dreams!

I’ve logged in and blogged on with no set agenda. This is just me saying, “hey fuckers, I’m still alive!” Wanna feel my pulse?

I’m still hoping for a breakthrough this year and I’ve got a couple of things planned that might actually take off.

The problem with being a media whore like myself is greed. I’m paid well when I work, I’m paid diddly when I don’t. I need to work less, so I can work more, on the projects that matter to me. Earn less now for a bigger payday at some point in the future!

Isn't that kind of how christianity works? Live the honourable life now for rewards in the afterlife? I hope I don't have to wait until I'm gone to be confirmed as the one true genius of the 21st century. That would suck!

I’m actually, really, truly working on scripts for a tv series. Shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone. I know it’s a winner, but I need to convince someone with some serious cash to fund it. The only way that’s going to happen is if I get the scripts to a point where I can show them to people.

But mark my words, if someone does fund this one, I can promise you, you will hear about it. It will be popular and more importantly, it will make me lots of money. You’ll buy the DVD box set, won’t you?

I’m going to be 43 cunting years old this month. My birthday’s soon and I’m dreading it. Aside from the fact that it’s the last year of my “early forties”, it’s just another reminder of little I’ve actually accomplished with my life.

That’s not totally fair, for if you met me, you’d think I was somewhat happening. Just not enough for me to feel good about myself.

What am I talking about, I never feel good about myself, unless I’m unconscious or something equally fun. You have no concept of the depths of my personal self-loathing. You’d need sonar to hit that particular rock bottom!

What can I say? I’m a dreamer whose dreams refuse to die! Sure, my dreams may have a spluttering cough, but it’s not a death rattle, there’s still plenty of life left in them!

My problems have always been simple. I’ve got a decided lack of fortitude; I rarely stick to anything. And when I do, another of my shortcomings comes into play, namely my giant fear of rejection.

That’s a shitty combo, especially if you want to write books and screenplays and make films! There’s always someone who will work harder and longer for less money!

But like I said, my dreams are alive. Over the years I’ve honed my skills as a dramatist and author. I’m shit hot really, I just need the rest of world to dig what I do and that means putting something out there!

I’ve taken some baby-steps in that direction recently, but nothing significant. That’s going to change very soon; I’m setting my sights high and my phasers on fry. I’m taking no fucking prisoners!

I didn’t expect to come online and give myself a peptalk, but that’s what this is turning into. My bullshit’s so convincing, I’m even buying it myself!

Whether something good happens for me or not this year, I can promise you this: In less than 50 years, I’ll be dust. Somehow, knowing that makes success or failure matter that much less.

I never said I was sane, just like I never promised you a rose garden!

I beg your pardon?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Go on, gimme a motherfucking yipppeeee! It's the first one of the goddamn new year!

I'm still the hippy you all love and maybe lust after just a little bit! I am still the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of...and I stopped being shroomtastic nearly 6 months go! So fucking what?

So I'm still here to entertain, amuse and inform, that's fucking what!

I'm no closer to a final decision on the fate of this blog. Well that's not completely true, I think I've abandoned the idea of a podcast. I tried to do a pilot and it was a piece of shit. I'm easily discouraged, hey ho!

The fact is that I've gotta do something to re-ignite my spark. Anyone got any new drugs? That usually works!

I've pretty much been sticking to spliff lately and nothing more. How dull.

Don't worry, I'll figure out what to do next soon enough.

In the meantime, happy fucking new year! I'm back, I'll be posting again. I'm on the lookout for more drugs.

What more could you devoted hippyfans need?

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Hey fuckers!

My continued neglect of you hippyfans is becoming too regular. There was a time when I posted here faithfully, at least once a day. My hippy-output recently has been more like once a week, which in real terms is absolute shite!

I’m still the hippy you all adore and maybe lust after just a little. I’m still the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of…but I’m not shroomtastic anymore! I’m still the hippy dammit, even if I don’t come online as often as I should!

I’ve thought about the future of this blog and I do want it to continue…it will continue, though the form of my online presence may change. More on that later.

I’ve put my heart & soul into this blog, my blood, sweat and spunk too. I don’t know if it shows, I don’t think many people read me anymore. Actually, I know they don’t. Somewhere along the line, I think I might have lost my spark.

Perhaps it’s all down to the British government and their silly move to reclassify my beloved magic mushrooms. Up until last July, they were legal and readily available to purchase and consume. Maybe there’s a correlation between their reclassification and my blog going down hill.

Let’s face facts; this blog has been in decline for some months now. It’s not just my non-participation, but my lack energy. Since July, I’ve been working too much. While my bank balance and credit card bills appreciate this very much, I’m constantly exhausted. I just don’t have the energy to generate entertaining, informative posts every day.

When I started this blog, way back in March 2003, I was unemployed, with no prospects and a serious weed and shroom habit. Today, I’m overemployed, still addicted to weed, but shroomless. Certainly my life has changed more than that?

Of course it has! It’s changed in all sorts of ways, both good and bad. Isn’t that what happens to everyone?

I could go through all the various ways my life has changed in nearly two years, but what fun would that be? If you really want to know badly enough, my entire archive lives just to the right on this page and you can read all the back entries. I wouldn’t complain if you did!

Life is change, change can be a good thing.

I’ve got a couple of hippylinks to provide you with, just to keep you up-to-date on the latest drug news. Both are from the Guardian, my favourite newspaper. Those cunts should really give me a weekly column! If I was getting paid for this shit, I would definitely have more stuff to say!

The first link is a rather detailed look at the current controversy surrounding the alleged link between cannabis and psychosis. I say “alleged” because my view has always been simple, weed doesn’t make anyone crazy, who wasn’t already crazy to begin with! The Guardian, of course, makes this point far more elegantly than I ever could, so why not read their version RIGHT HERE.

The other story concerns my new favourite legal high, piperazine or BZP, which is gaining in popularity here in the UK. It's a decent write-up, worth reading if you're considering trying these new party drugs. You can check out the Guardian article by clicking on ON THESE WORDS. Now that it’s made the mainstream press, you can bet it won’t be too long before the Whitehall cunts ban this one too! Silly, silly, SILLY!

I’m still digging P.E.P. pills, they’re cheap, consistent, easy to get and really do give you a buzz. Don’t think of them as an ecstasy substitute, because if that’s what you’re expecting, you will be disappointed. Instead, think of it as a brand new drug, which I suppose it actually is. Check them out, maybe you’ll like them too. Or maybe you’ll think they’re shit, but for a fiver, you can’t go wrong!

I’m unapologetic when it comes to drugs. Everyone digs them, everyone does them! Anyone who denies it, is lying to you. Anyone who ain’t lying, is just dull. Yawn.

That’s not true, I’m sure there are some people, somewhere, living a fulfilling and satisfying drug free life. I just hope they stay the fuck away from me!

For most of us, life sucks. We all lie to ourselves and try to convince ourselves otherwise, but if you’re telling the truth, the truth is, life sucks! Most days, it’s just a slog to get through to the next one. I understand this; I set my expectations low and my tolerance HIGH. If it weren’t for weed, I probably would have topped myself years ago. If you find something that works for you, you stick with it. Drugs work for me!

I could murder a spliff right now, but I’m at work and woefully sober. I’ll be home in about 4 hours and a juicy joint awaits. I can hang on till then, I don’t have a choice!

Yeah, I’m at work, which seems to be the only time I do any blogging. I’m tired and it’s only my first night of six. It’s going to be a long week, if I don’t kill any of my colleagues, I should be awarded humanitarian of the year. I should be awarded something anyway. How about hippy of the year? It’s not like there’s any competition!

We’ve got a fortnight left in 2005. 2005 sucked, 2004 sucked even more, so I guess 2005 was better. So what? Soon it will be 2006 and we’ll all still be sucking on shit sandwiches. So what?

So! It’s time for my hippy end of the year review!

I was stoned for most of the year and don’t remember much of it. If only life were that easy! Sadly, I do recall lots of it!

Best albums of the year as chosen by the hippy:
- Green Day: American Idiot (yes, I know it came out in 2004, so what?)
- The Killers – Hot Fuss – wicked debut, every song’s a winner
- Hard-Fi – Stars of CCTV – best new British act, suburban angst and desperation

Best films
- fuck knows, I never go to the cinema. Ask me what’s on SKY movies!

Best TV shows:
- Veronica Mars – better than you would ever expect!
- Doctor Who – well written & produced, a real treat!
- Six Feet Under – sorry to see it go, but endings are a part of life as this show showed.
- The Thick of It – British satire at it’s best
- Curb Your Enthusiasm – funniest fucking thing on TV

As you can see, I like television and if I was more awake, would have listed even more programmes.

God, I’m tired tonight!

Mainly, 2005 for me was the year of the major purchase and gadgets. I spent the last year joining the 21st century. I’ve bought:

- A pre-owned Toyota Yaris - vroom, vroom, it's small and cheap to run!
- An Apple iMac 20” G5 – the sexy flat panel computer
- An Apple 12” iBook – the iMac’s baby brother
- A wi-fi network consisting of a NetGear router and Apple Airport Express
- A La Cie 500gb firewire hard drive – external storage at its finest.
- A Sony HC-42E camcorder – widescreen, DV, diggable
- Various software including Final Cut Express and Logic Express
- An Edirol UA-25 USB audio interface
- A 5th Gen iPod (w/video) – a great piece of kit
- A TomTom One satnav GPS – my xmas pressie from Mrs. H

I’ve only had the TomTom a couple of days and yes I know it’s not xmas yet! So far, I’m blown away at how good this new toy is. It knows where I am and where I want to go and it tells me how to get there! How fucking cool is that? It’s ice-fucking-cold! It really is terribly clever and so easy to use! GPS has never been cheaper, so if you’ve been thinking about it, go for it! It’s a must have device for the modern driver!

My brand of the year is easy, it’s Apple. I’ve become a convert to the cult of Cupertino this year and I’m glad! I’ll hopefully never own another PC running nasty old Windows! OS X rocks, Apple’s rock! Spend the extra, get the better system!

As you might have gathered from my brief retrospective of the previous year, this will most likely be my last posting on this blog for 2005. I’ve decided to give myself a wee rest from blogging. Don’t worry, I will return in the New Year, rested, refreshed and ready to rock your world!

I’d rather take some time off, than continue providing you with an inferior product…!

Now the really exciting news is I’m mulling over a change in medium. I won’t leave the net, as no traditional media outlet wants to let the hippy loose, but I am considering a move to podcasting. My novelty hippyvoice is ready for its debut.

I’m making no promises, a weekly 10 minute podcast might be beyond my scope. Can I really talk for 10 minutes and keep you all entertained? Only time will tell. I wonder if anyone would even bother to download it. Would you?

So there you have it, this hippy’s taking a break. Unless something significant happens, I won’t be back until the first week of the New Year. I want to take this opportunity to wish all my hippyfans (at least those of you who still read this drivel) a very happy holiday season. I hope Santa brings you everything you asked for, and a whole lot more and I hope your New Year’s Eve sees you face down in the gutter, giggling your head off!

And as for me, well, whether I’m blogging my life away, every night and every, or not, I’m still and will always be the one, the only, northlondonhippy!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Yep, I’m still here. Reports of my internet death have been greatly exaggerated.

I’m still vacillating with regards to my continued participation in this particular blog.

I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I’d like to reignite my blogging fire, but I don’t know how. Part of me feels like I’ve hit a brick wall.

I do think of things to write about, but they still tend to come at awkward times, like when I’m drifting off to sleep. That’s no good to anyone!

Have I lost my enthusiasm? Have I lost my spark? Am I a hippy has-been? Or a never-was?

I don’t have the answers either. I can barely think of the questions.

Sometimes, life is like this, where you don’t know if you’re coming or going…

That makes me think of an old joke….

Why did god make piss yellow and semen white?

So you could always tell whether you’re coming or going!

Did ya get it? Did ya?

Nevermind.

Has it really come to this? Old, recycled jokes that I first heard as a teenager? Oh dear.

Remember when this blog was about drugs and blowjobs? Those were the days!

I tried the “Pulsate Chill Pill” last weekend and I was so underwhelmed by them that I forgot to post my review.

I took one, followed by a second around 2 hours later. Yes, they had an effect, but I wasn’t that impressed. I can tell you right now, I prefer the P.E.P pills much more. "Twisted" are my favourites!

Also, the “Pulsate Chill Pill” is more expensive than P.E.P.s…Pulsates cost a fiver a tab, while P.E.P. pills cost a fiver for two. Max recommended dose for both is 3 pills, so the P.E.P.s are much more cost effective.

Of course, proper MDMA “E’s” allegedly sell for 50p a pop in some parts of the UK, so going the legal route, while safer, is much more expensive. Since I don’t do proper E’s anymore, there my only option.

Again, the magic ingredient is piperazine which is an extract of good old black pepper. That’s right, the stuff you put on food that can make you sneeze! Ain’t modern chemistry grand!

Ok, so I thought of something to say. I know lots of people use this blog as a reference for all things drug related, so I guess I’m providing a public service to the masses!

Why doesn’t someone hire me to be their drug correspondent? I’d love my own column in the Guardian or a live radio call in show. Is anyone brave enough to do this? Has anyone got the balls to give me some airtime? I fucking doubt it! Creative thinking and the media don’t go together very well.

I’ll tell you something for nothing, fuckers. I’d get rocking ratings, especially if I got an overnight time slot on the radio. I’m a night person anyway and I’d be able to attract all the really weird people and just imagine the phone-ins!

“Hello caller, what the fuck have you got to say?” says the hippy.

Caller: “I’m really high!”

Hippy: “Me too!”

Hippy & caller: “Yipppeee!”

It would be award winning radio! I’d be rich, I’d be famous and I’d being getting blown by every hot woman in Britain!

So if you’re a highflying programme director on a London-based radio station, look no further than me for the next big thing in broadcasting! You’ll go down in history as the genius who discovered the northlondonhippy!

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