VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Friday, March 26, 2004

Another day and no dollar, sometimes being poor and unemployed really gets me down. You would think I'd be used to it, and to an extent I am, but every once in a while, something reminds me of my desperate financial situation. Today it was a trip to my local high street.

I needed to pick something up, it doesn't really matter what it this item was. I didn't buy it, it cost more than I expected, so I left it on the shelf. What a drag, man.

So I'm back home now, doing a couple loads of wash. I've finished the dishes, I've emptied the bins, I can just about kick back and relax until the Mrs. gets home.

Not all my days are this dull and pathetic, but frequently a lot of them are similar to this. I have to keep reminding myself that things are looking up, I have another job interview on Tuesday and I have my first bit of training with the other company after that. Things might actually be improving.

I'm not counting my chickens just yet, but I need something to give me the tiniest shred of optimism that my extended period of non-productivity is about to end.

That doesn't mean I haven't had any little adventures, they do occasionally happen.

A couple of weeks ago, I was desperate for some dope. My usual source was dry, which is very unusual. The problem with having one steady source is that you fall out of contact with the other people who might be able to help. That was my problem. I tried to reach a couple of other people that might have helped, but they were gone, changed their mobiles, dropped out of the business, or off the face of the planet.

Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, as in any job, someone knows someone who can help. Again, foiled by lack of work, so I couldn't ask a colleague, I don't have any! I tried a couple of friends, but by and large, I am the only serious dope smoker I know, and the others all use the same contact I do. I was well and truly stuffed.

You might be thinking, this is not such a big deal and you would be correct. I can go without weed, but it is a lot easier to do that by choice rather than necessity. I decided to turn to the net for help.

A couple of months ago there was an article in the Guardian newspaper, saying that there were several companies selling grass and hash online, some based here in the UK, others in Holland. Read a reposting of that Guardian article here.

I managed to track down one of the dutch "hash traders" mentioned in that article and I emailed him. He quickly replied with his menu, which looked as good or better than any coffeeshop I've ever visited in Amsterdam. His prices looked high, but the range of choice was impressive. Then I dug a little deeper.

I found loads of posts on bulletin boards saying he was very unreliable and seemed to use all sorts of excuses for non-delivery of goods, which were paid for already. It wasn’t the solid recommendation I was hoping to find.

I couldn't manage to locate any of the UK based companies, as they seem to work on a referral basis, they are not contactable publicly. If anyone reading this knows about any, web based or London-based delivery companies, this hippy would love to hear from you!

As my desperation increased, so did my determination. I decided to use the member directory of a popular web-portal to find some local people to ask. Risky I know, but I decided to be polite and take it slow, then ask if they could help sort me out.

I trolled the member directory for a while and found a few people online in my general vicinity. My thinking locally is that this is just the sort of area where there would be a take-away or mini-cab office selling a bit of gear. That was my goal, to find someone who could point me in the right direction.

The people I spoke to were suprisingly nice, not one told me to fuck off. They were all very sympathetic to my cause. Sometimes, the world can exceed your expectations, and that's exactly what happened with the last person I spoke to online.

He was based very nearby, his profile said he was twenty-something, and was a big fan of hip-hop and Tupac Shakur. This was a good start. I sent him a message, saying hello and I think there is something you can help me with today.

He said, what's that. I explained to him that I was desperate to find some spliff. He was lol'ing his head off, but said yes, he could help. He sent me a mobile phone number, told me the guy was local and could help me right now, just don't mention how I got his number. He told me his name was "little man".

What did I have to lose? I phoned "little man", who grunted and whispered and said he couldn't help me. He couldn't help with spliff, but he was good comedy value.

I went back to my new online buddy and told him "little man" brushed me off. He gave me a second mobile number, same deal, don't say where I got it, and he told me to just ring up and ask if he could help me with some "draw".

That's what I did, and this time, I was rewarded with a "yes, I got some good shit and I can help." He said he was heading in my general direction in about an hour and could meet me somewhere to do the deal. Sounded good to me, so I said call me when you are nearby and we'll do this thing.

He then asked me how I got his number. Thinking quickly, I said I got it from Jimmy. He asked me who Jimmy was and I said, I don't know man, he says he knows you and you are the man that can help. My new friend said "ok" and that I would hear from him in about an hour.

He phoned me as promised and I told him of a quiet spot not 20 steps from my place, that he could pull up and we could take care of business. Now, I know what you are thinking, because I was thinking it too, this could be dangerous.

I stuffed a sharp-edged weapon in my pocket and went outside to meet him. He pulled up in his car, with two of his mates and for just a split-second I was a bit nervous, but we made the exchange in seconds and off they drove.

I got inside and checked my purchase, it was exactly as described, a small, smelly bit of commercially produced skunk weed. I stuck it on my cheap little scale and it weighed up exactly as it should. I rolled a quick spliff and it was tasty and strong. Hurray for the hippy!

I still can't believe I pulled this off, but it goes to show you what a little manic energy and determination can achieve. I went from no possible chance of scoring to organising a dirty little street deal on my own corner via the internet. How fucking cool is that?

I messaged the original helpful guy when I got back inside and told him that it all went well. Turns out the guy I met is one of his best friends, and he was going to tell him how I got his number later that night. I would never have done the same if I had a local dealer friend, but I am sure glad this guy took a chance on me.

Why not? What were the chances of the police using the net to solicit very small-time weed dealers. Police resources would be better spent doing anything else, like catching real criminals. And since cannabis has been downgraded to class "C" here in the UK, it is no longer a policing priority.

Who did I hurt? This guy had something I wanted, we had a free exchange of goods for cash, wasn't I just doing my part for capitalism, entrepreneurial spirit, and the success of a small, local businessman?

Well, I thought it was pretty cool, it certainly beat spending the day like a zombie on the sofa.

That's it for today, back tomorrow to report on more hippy escapades.

"The northlondonhippy realizes that you have a wide selection of weblogs to visit, thank you for choosing his. He hopes to see you again on your return journey. Thank you for flying with the hippy."

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