VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

It's 6:23pm here in north london, which means its hippy time!

I haven't stopped moving since I crawled from my lair this morning. I went through my usual routine, coffee, online newspapers, a spliff, a cig, and a shower before donning my only suit and heading off for my second interview in as many weeks.

Though the day may have turned out bright, sunny and mild, it was more than chilly as I walked to my local tube. Since I was travelling well before 9:30am, I couldn't get the off-peak travel card, I had to buy the full-fat variety. It cost seven fucking pounds and thirty shitting pence! I think its about £4.70 off-peak, and that's for Zones 1-4, which is also massively expensive.

Put it this way, the mayor's congestion charge costs a fiver. There is no way in hell I could have spent another £2.30 on petrol for today's journey, so the car would have been cheaper! Ken Livingstone, do you hear me, when it's cheaper to take you car than ride on public transport, something is very, very, VERY wrong.

And it's not like the tube is a first class service, far from it. I waited over ten minutes for the next available train, at a mainline tube station in Zone one. Ok, it was the Northern Line, which known as the misery line, but still, for £7.30, I should be getting blown by a nineteen year old girl while I ride the tube.

When I lived in south London, years ago, I was actually offered a blow-job once while walking down the street. Ok, it happened more than once, but on this occasion the price was a fiver, and she probably would have thrown in a used off-peak travelcard as well! No, I didn’t take her up on it, but I am sure she sucked off someone to buy a rock of crack.

Ken!!! Fix it!!!

I arrived for the interview with time to spare, not because of the efficient tube service, but because I allowed extra time. I gave me a chance to stare at the sky and have a fag before heading inside. I like to be early, always have done, I hate rushing to anything.

I've always chalked up my obsession with being early to my premature birth. I was born about 6 weeks early. Back then, in the early 60s, being that premature was a big deal, but today they are able to save preemies at a much earlier age.

I've always liked to think I was ahead of my time, and continue that tradition in my daily life.

So, I'm always early. Arrange to meet me in a pub or restaurant and I can promise I'll be there before you. I like to keep a nice, hippy-like pace, especially when travelling. If the public transport in London were more reliable, I wouldn't have to leave early for everything. I wonder how many hours of glorious slumber I've lost to London Underground?

I presented myself to reception with 10 minutes to spare, as you shouldn't be earlier than that for any appointment. I didn't have to wait long, I was led up to the office quite quickly.

Now, you can tell straight away; your standing is confirmed by how they treat you when you arrive. I was greeted warmly, shown to a private office and offered coffee or tea. So far, so good, I had a coffee, milk and one sugar, please. I was told the man I was expecting to see was unavailable, and instead I would meet with his deputy.

That was cool, he appeared quite quickly and invited another manager to sit in as well. The interview itself was more formal than last week, with many questions about my background. I handled them all well and was much calmer than I would have expected. They both seemed very nice, but I’ve worked in this business long enough not to let first impressions fool me.

Television is chock full of pricks and cunts, and that is not a gender distinction I am making. Spend as long as I have working in the industry and you would not argue with me.

So why do I do it, why do I continue? Why am I still working in TV?

It’s all I know, and pretty much all I have done with my adult life. That must make me either a prick or a cunt, a quick survey of former colleagues would probably see me labeled me “prunt”. Glad that’s settled.

Then they told me about the work, the hours, etc. I am familiar with this company and have dealt with them before, I know the brief fairly well. They have arranged for me to come in next week for a single shadow shift, unpaid of course. Sounds like I've got a foot in this door as well!

Tomorrow is spent doing some unpaid training at the other place, and I will be back there again next week. Three unpaid training days in less than 2 weeks is not bad, when you consider how long I've been looking.

As soon as I am booked for a paid shift, I'm coming off the dole. I can't wait! I hate it, really hate it. It makes me feel like shit and it's not like its great money either.

So the outlook on the hippy work front is looking good. There are so many things I want to buy. Besides clothing, which I need in great abundance, I want a new PC, a new PDA, and a new(er) car. Don't think my first pay-cheque will be quite that good, but I can dream!

I can't let today's entry finish without mentioning the arrests in London today. You can read the BBC's version here. This is quite a scary one as you can make a fairly impressive bomb with half a ton of fertilizer and a tiny bit of know-how. That’s how much they found. Yikes.

I'm not that surprised. I am certain that the UK is high on the list of targets for loads of reasons, not only their support for the good ol' US of A.. There is one school of thought that suggests the reason London hasn't been hit by Islamic militants is because so many of them are based here. They don't want to rock the boat. That's probably a bit of a misrepresentation, possibly oversimplification, and I don't buy it.

If you believe the Met, they say they have foiled quite a few plots already. Great, but as we've seen today, there's always more to come. Which makes me wonder, if these guys were getting ready to pull something big off, could there be others? Al Qaeda loves multiple attacks, so does this bust mean that we're safer, or are there other, more secretive terrorist cells that continue to operate. My money's on the fact that there are others, there have to be.

Now that its looking like I will be crossing London again fairly regularly, I find all this a cause for concern. Don't worry, my loved ones and I have an action plan should London be a target. We have various places designated to meet, depending upon what goes off and where.

Don't laugh, the threat seems real enough to me. Why not have plans, just in case?

No, I don't have tins of food, a year's worth of water and gaffer-tape to seal the windows and doors of my home, but at least having an idea of where to look for the people I care about when something bad happens makes me feel somewhat prepared. We're all probably going to be toast anyway. Something big is coming. Even the cops and the politicians keep saying that.

That's all from your friendly neighbourhood hippy. If you found out I was your neighbour, would you move away, or lend me some sugar? I bet you wouldn't let your daughter visit me!
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