VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Damn, it's chilly today! I wasn't expecting it after the recent warm weather. You can't expect anything in London weather-wise, I've lived here long enough to know that.

Today was all about queuing; queuing for buses, queuing in the post office, the bank, everywhere.

Queues are nature's way of telling you your poor and don't count for much. Don't blame me, I didn't invent them. If you are poor, you will know exactly what I mean, if you are rich, it might be something you've heard about from your servants.

The airport is an excellent example of this rich/poor divide. If you are like me, flying anything other than tourist class is rare. I've blagged the odd upgrade to business, and even flown that way for work on a couple of occasions, but for the most part, you'll find me in the back, in cattle class.

It's bad enough having to spend several hours with your knees pressed against your chest in the six and half inches of space allotted to an economy passenger, but consider the check-in. Even before 9/11, the check-in process for a long-haul flight was no fun. It was long and tedious. But oh, just glance to the end of the check-in desks and you'll see one position that never has a queue: business and first class.

If you have one of these golden tickets, you can stride right up to the desk, check in as much as you like, then make your way to the "fast track" immigration channel, straight through to departures. Then, you're just a hop, skip and a jump from the business/first class lounge, where free food, booze and blowjobs await. Ok, maybe not the bj's, but how should I know, I've only been in a lounge twice.

And then there's the pre-boarding, whenever you want, a huge seat, a pre-flight glass of champagne, better food and even more blowjobs. Some airlines used to have special drop-off points and check-ins, closer to the gates, but the fear of terrorists put an end to that. Good thing too, Bin Laden is suppose to be rich, Saudi oil rich, so I imagine he would fly first it could very well have used this special facility to board a plane at Heathrow.

Us po' folk gots ta shuffle 'round in crowds, push our way to de seats, get knocked in da noggin by other people's bags. Loadsa fun.

So it shouldn't surprise me that I spent the day standing in long lines with other poor people. The post office was the worst and my only business there was actually postal-related. I had to airmail a Mother's Day card to my mom - where she is, it's Mother's Day on Sunday 9th May, so I've cut it pretty tight.

The first time I visited the post office, the queue was so long, I didn't even bother joining it. Instead I returned after a couple of other errands and waited about 20 mins, just to purchase one stamp. There's a documentary on C4 tonight about the Royal Mail that looks interesting, with undercover filming of how absolutely crap it is. I was thinking of watching it, but I already know how bad they are, I don't need reminding.

My other major errand today was zipping up to Camden to pick up my free shrooms. You didn't really think I would get through a blog-post without mentioning them, did you?

As promised, I was given 100grams of fresh, mexican p.cubes, gratis. Cool and groovy! Plus, I was given 4 tabs of something that was described as "ephedra replacement pills". I know what ephedra is and I don't really like it. All I could get out of the guy on the stall is that they are "mad" and made of some extract of orange peel. They were given to me loose, so no packaging to give me any clues. I'm not really sure what they are. I don't know if/when I will take them, unless I can get more info. Anyone with a guess is welcome to email!

Stay warm, stay dry, and stay home!
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