VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

I was awake at about 10am this morning, went to bed around 1:30am - that's eight and half-hours of sleep, which should be enough, but it wasn't. I kept waking up every hour or so, and never really slept deeply. My subconscious must be on overtime.

I rarely remember my dreams, chalk that up to my voracious weed consumption, but I can recall a tiny bit of one dream from last night. I was talking to my mother. She was bed-ridden in the dream, but speaking perfectly, like she used to before the stroke. I asked why her speech improved so much and she said she had really been practicing it. That's all I can recover from the dream now.

Ok, so my parents are very much on my mind, that's no surprise. My father and younger brother were not in the dream and I don't know if I asked my mother where my dad was. Maybe I assumed he was dead already. I'm sure there was a lot more to the dream, but it's gone now.

I also think I am more apprehensive about returning to work than I am admitting, especially over the location I am visiting tonight. Their product, their program is not one that I watch or even respect. I think their offices will be a serious grind, the shift is long as well, over 13 hours. I don't have a clue about their editorial slant, it's a lot closer to the Daily Mail than The Guardian. I hate the Mail.

Am I giving away too much? Probably, but then I always have. Maybe I just don't think I have anything to hide. I'm not ashamed of anything I've said on here. I'm not perfect, I about as far from perfect as you can get actually.

I'm just going to show up there tonight and do my best, try and learn as much as I can, really fit in. I will have some useful input into the production, I will contribute something tonight, no matter how small. I'll learn their system, I figure out how to find and use their resources, who to tell what to, what it all costs, where it all gets logged. Maybe I'll even find out where to get food there at three in the morning. I don't even know if the building has a 24-hour canteen, but somehow I doubt it.

Anxiety and apprehension aren't new to me, commuting to work isn't either. The place, the people and the program, that's what I have to face that's new tonight. How bad can it be? If I let my imagination run rampant, I bet I could paint a picture of sheer awfulness and terror, but I won't. Let's look on the bright side tonight instead.

The weird weather we have been having in London provided an interesting benefit on Monday, a real treat. We've had very odd weather of late, perfectly clear, sunny, warmish days, with a sudden change to intense, stormy, rainy, windy and dark, with decent-sized hail stones, lightening and thunder, then back to sunny. Yesterday afternoon, we had one of these quick turnovers in the weather, and as the rain subsided, the world outside took on a strange yellow hazy sheen. My first thought was that the sunlight was being filtered through heavily polluted clouds, causing this odd colouring. I was wrong.

I looked out the window to discover the most perfect rainbow stretching across the north London sky, each of it's seven colours, distinctive and bright. I stared at it, in awe for a short while, before cooking up a wicked prawn stir-fry.

Life's really not that bad, it only seems that way sometimes.
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