VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Hey ho, hey ho, it's the northlondonhippy you know...

Actually, you don't know. Or maybe you do. If you've read any of this blog, you'll know a little about the hippy. Whether or not you care is another story entirely. Sometimes, I don't even care myself.

I'm trying to put on a brave face, but the truth is, I'm still grief-stricken about the loss of my father. I've had to keep a lot of it inside this week, thanks to a few nights working. I haven't disclosed to anyone here that he died. I'm guessing people wouldn't really understand my working through one of the worst weeks of my life. It's none of their goddamn business anyway. At least at work, I have something to focus on other than his passing.

I still can't believe he's gone. I'm missing him so much already. I know, if you've read this blog, that I maybe didn't seem that close to him, and certainly in the last year or so, that's been true.

If I let myself, I would be in floods of tears constantly. I'm not letting myself do that. Occasionally, my thoughts have drifted towards happier memories from my childhood and when I do, I can feel my eyes well-up, like right now. Not good, not now, please.

I also find myself talking to him, more frankly and honestly than ever before. Which is odd, because I don't believe in an afterlife, neither did he.

One of the great shortcomings of the modern world is the amount of credence we continue to give to the fairy-stories of our ancestors. Does anyone still believe that heaven is a place in the clouds, with winged angels and pearly gates? I don't care what religion you subscribe to, they've all got it wrong when it comes to death. If you disagree with that, you can just fuck off to someone else's blog

If, (and it is one of the biggest "if's" you'll encounter) our soul or spirit or essence or consciousness continues on after our body dies, it does so in a form that would be so alien and incomprehensible to our tiny little brains, that we simply couldn't comprehend it. No human being has the capacity to imagine it as it might really be either.

Listen to me, I'm so full of shit.

I don't believe in life after death, but the loss of a parent and suddenly I'm pondering the possibility. Oh the odd things we cling to in times of need!

As of 2 days ago, my younger brother still hadn't phoned my mother. A mutual friend got the message to him that my dad was gone. I really wish he'd call her.

The good news is, it looks like the hippymobile will finally have a new owner. No, it wasn't a contest entrant, but a friend of mine. There's more to the story, but I'll save it for another time.
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