VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Ok, I couldn't resist! I'm back again, but then I would have to be, what with 2 hippy milestones occurring on the same day.

That's right, the northlondonhippy blog is 6 months old today AND this is my 100th entry. Wowsy wow, woo woo. That's from some cartoon, I can't recall which one.

I know I should not be putting another entry on top of yesterday's excellent tale of the ASS BOMB (scroll down or check out the archive for THIS ONE HERE) to see what the hell I'm talking about. It's vintage hippy and probably as good as I get at these things.

The reality is that out of 100 entries, there's only a handful that are really any good, most of it is the inane ramblings of a 40-something, emotionally stunted dope-head. I should do a page with links to the "best of the hippy" to save the casual reader from having to sift through the swill to find the real pearls. Oh, look, I've managed to label anyone reading this blog as "swine" without really meaning to do so. Dum dee dum.

I'm still away from north London, here in paradise, though the weather is a bit grey and threatening rain. Mrs. Hippy is pool-side while I sit in this darkened corner of the hotel, hunched over this slick little HP PC, blogging my life away.

I've been without dope for over a week. I manage to do this without too much of a struggle, as it a self-imposed break from weed. I find it a lot harder when I'm home and I run out and the absence of my favourite herb is not my idea. But here in paradise, it's not really a struggle.

The first immediate side effect of this lack of my favourite drug is that my dreams become more vivid and I recall them more. It's not that I don't dream when I am regularly smoking, I just sleep deeper and find it next to impossible to recall them when I wake up. To be honest, I find all this vivid dreaming tiring, as if I'm not really sleeping and I wake up feeling the need for more sleep. Oh well.

I haven't had a single drop of booze since I arrived here and in considering this, I realise that I'm not really much of a drinker at all these days. I like alcohol, but don't really feel the need to consume any. It's not my drug of choice these days anyway.

I'm missing my spliff, there's no denying that, but I'll have one just as soon as I walk in the front door of the hippy's lair and then all will be right with the world. My world anyway, not the world in the global sense.

It's 2 weeks and day since my father died, it still hasn't properly sunk in. The guilt of being away on holiday sits somewhere in the back of my mind, but I've managed to keep it from consuming me, along with the grief, which I don't think has properly hit me yet. That might not be true, since I probably have been grieving for him for months before he passed.

Enough of the doom and gloom, I'm on holiday dammit. Being fully sober means my thoughts turn to better my life and working towards some as yet undetermined goal of making it better.

I think about finally writing my novel, which has been years in the making and after a chapter or two, being discarded. If I put half the effort into drafting chapters as I have into this blog, my first full draft would be finished by now. Discipline continues to be by shortfall, I lack it the way some people have a vitamin deffiency. I've got scurvy of the soul and sucking on a few lemons certainly won't cure it. Abstaining from dope would probably help, but then that would cause all sort of other problems that are too much to even consider.

When I properly discovered dope, the night of my high school graduation, some 23 years ago, I realised I found what my body and mind were lacking. If only there was a gland in my brain that produced a steady stream of THC! Perhaps genetic engineering will solve this someday, but for now, I'll stick to weed.

I've been thinking about my own mortality a lot, more than normal and I'm sure my father's passing is the reason for this. How many years have a I got left? Who knows? I could be hit by a stray bolt of lightening right now, or perhaps I've got another 40 years left. I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my time.

My fantasies about the future, especially when I'm on holiday, always tend to be a bit grandiose. I still dream about writing novels, making films, creating a hit tv show. I'm sure I'm capable of all these things and given the chance (and budget!) could accomplish them. It's getting to that point that has always been the trick that alludes me. It comes back to discipline and my lack of it, but I hold on to the hope that change is possible.

Old dogs and new tricks, eh? Never say never, and don't be such an ageist cunt about yourself, hippy!

When I get my new, super-dooper PC, it will most certainly have the capability to edit video. DV videocameras are relatively cheap these days as well, perhaps I could write a short screenplay, put together a cast and crew and make the fucker. It wouldn't cost that much and it would be something I could show, or submit for some contests and film festivals.

It could happen, it's not that grandiose an idea, not even for me. Something to put on the back burner, certainly.

The novel is still a possibility as well, though the shape and form have changed in my mind dramatically over the years. The title and the concept haven't and I still think it could be a winner. Just do it, as they say in the ad for a certain brand of sporting goods. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's about all for now, I'll pop back again in a few days. Till then, keep your feet on the ground, but keep reaching for those stars. Who am I now, Casey fucking Kasem?
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