VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Hey, hey, my, my...this hippy's always high!

I send you fond salutations from the right side of the day for a change. I'm home, it's about twenty minutes to eleven AM, which is a time more associated with respectable, normal people than this hippy. Sometimes, even I need to conform to the rules of society, just a little bit anyway. I won't make a habit of it, I assure you.

I've been awake since around 9am, I've already read the newspapers online, checked out my sitemeter account (yes, I'm a bit obsessed), checked my emails (not a single one from a hippyfan and I'm mighty disappointed, but more on this later), had a shower and placed a small yet crucial order with my friends at EDIT.

With the recent disaster of my first Koh Samui flush, I've ordered some Mexican p.cubes from EDIT, as well as some cool rolling papers, which you can see for yourself here. These papers are partly made of tobacco and flavoured and make quite nice spliffs. I went for the chocolate and coconut flavour; I've already tried the cognac flavour and still have some left.

I wanted to get my absolute favourite blunt wraps, Royal Blunt - EZ Roll Tubes, which are moist, processed tobacco wrappers which are easy to use and taste very nice. I didn't order any since they are out of stock on my favourite flavour, which in this case is vanilla. They haven't had any of them for a while, so I'm hoping the manufacturer hasn't stopped producing them. That would be a bummer for this hippy.

Speaking of spiffs, I'm just puffing on a single king-sized red Rizla rolled in a machine, filled with a blend of tobacco and some skunky bud. Yummmm. It's only my second one of the day so far. Reminder, I've been awake for less than 2 hours. Who's a naughty hippy then?

Hey remember! I live that hippy life, so you don't have to!

The shrooms I’ve ordered are for potential consumption tomorrow. I’m gambling that the path will be clear for an afternoon spent in the company of the mushroom god. I’m working too much this month, I need to blow off some serious steam and the mind altering properties of magic mushrooms are just what my (imaginary) doctor ordered. Though if anyone knows of a doctor that would prescribe shrooms, or spliff, or Valium, or Xanax or anything tasty, please let me know! NHS doctors especially welcome!

I’ve ordered 60grams of fresh Mexican Psilocybe Cubensis, p.cubes for short. They’re the most common strain available here in the UK and they are also the cheapest. You get more weight for the money. I personally don’t think other strains of p.cubes are much stronger, but other people will disagree. I’m still hoping to do my own comparison if and when I get any Koh Samuis from my grow kit. They’re in the p.cube family, but come from Thailand instead of Mexico. I’ll let you know the results of my research. Do you think I could get a scientific grant or bursary to further my research?

I’m planning on taking the entire 60grams tomorrow, which would be a record for me. Unless I pussy-out, which I’ve done the last two previous times, where I went for 45 and 50grams respectively. I didn’t trip as hard or as much as I was hoping on 50grams, which doesn’t make sense to me because I’m not doing it that often at the moment. Perhaps every fornight to 3 weeks in the last couple of months, if that? I shouldn’t have that much of a tolerance, so I really do need to go for all 60grams, since I am really in the mood to twist my brain up but good. In a nice way of course.

As always, I might attempt a bit of blogging, while shroomed, but if the trip is strong enough, I won’t be able. It would excellent if that was the case actually, as an afternoon monged in front of some music videos is just what I need. Plus this will be my first trip with my LASERPOD, so I’m looking forward to giving it a hallucinogenic test-drive.

As usual, my plantive plea to make my blog more interactive has fallen on death ears, or rather fingers. I've yet to receive a single email from any of my legions of hippyfans. Perhaps you all would prefer to keep this continuing exchange one-sided.

As members of the vanguard of the internet elite, my hippyfans might feel it wouldn't be cool to contact me. That's an argument I can dig. You feel you need to keep me at a bit of distance to truly benefit from reading my blog. It's kind of like you need to put me on a bit of a pedestal. It's alright, worship from a-far is most acceptable to this hippy.

Though if I could find some local hippygroupies, that would be cool too. Especially if they were local sixteen-year-old girls, easy ones, ready to let me put it anywhere. Shut yo' mouth hippy!

No, you can just picture it.

***The lights come down inside the Wembley Arena, here in fabulous north London. All the seats are full, the lights go down and people rush the stage. The arena is totally dark, suddenly from either side of the stage, bright, computer controlled spotlights begin to sweep the area, the crowd goes wild! A single spotlight illuminates the centre of the stage.

The crowd starts chanting, "hipp-eee, hipp-eee, hipp-eee, HIPP-EEE,
HIPP-EEE, HIPP-EEE". I step out from the darkness and stride centre stage. I'm bathed in a bright white spotlight.

I motion to silence the crowd and there is a hush. Then I shout "Can I get a yipppeeee for this this hippy?" The audience goes clinically insane.***

It could happen. My quest for world domination is still embryonic. Just wait till it reaches its fetal stage. Once my billboards go up around central London, you won't be able to miss me!

Speaking of central London that is where this hippy is heading soon. I'm meeting an old friend I haven't seen in ages for lunch, which is quite cool. See, sometimes I make an effort to be social.

Anyway, once I announce my Wembley Arena gigs, I'll add a link to the page so you can order your tickets. But you better be quick, it's going to sell out really fast. I'm already thinking about adding extra dates!
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