VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

"I woke up early this morning...I don't think y'all heard me, I woke up EARLY this morning...."

That's from "Millionaire", the latest single released from Outkast's excellent "Speaker Boxx/The Love Below". It's Andre3000 and Kelis and it is out-fucking-standing. It's the fourth single from the amazing double album. The others were "Hey Ya", "The Way You Move" and "Roses". If you don't have it yet, you don't know what you're missing!

This hippy's up early this morning and I think you already heard me! I had to set an alarm as I'm waiting for my special delivery of 60grams of mexican p.cubes. The postman is my drug courier and he doesn't even know it!

Man, I wish you could order weed from the net just as easily, but that Utopia is still a ways off. It will come, you mark this hippy's words.

The shipping options on my shrooms were such that for a tiny bit extra, I could have it delivered before 9am, rather than by noon or 5pm.

STOP PRESS! The delivery just arrived and is in my hands as of 7:50am. What's cooler than being cool? Ice cold! I'm one happy little hippy now! And I'm in an Outkast frame of my mind, I keep quoting them, well Andre3000 actually.

My cunning plan for the day is remarkably simple. Since I'm already up early, I'm going to blitz the house and give it a bit of a clean. I may or may not bop up to my high street for a spot of grocery shopping, with the aim to have it all done by lunchtime. Then it's shroom-city for me.

Just popped open the package and my super-neato-cool rolling papers and magic mushrooms are there as ordered. The shrooms look fresh and meaty. Sometimes when you have them delivered they can be a bit, ummm, mushy. The fresher they are the better and these look just fine.

I've already stripped the bed and put the dirty sheets in the washing machine. I'm going to hoover and dust the living room, clean the kitchen and the toilets before I even think about chilling out. And the spliff I just had, well, that's just a little eye opener to have with my morning coffee.

Here’s a brief word about coffee. Hippy coffee.

I either drink filter or espresso-based coffee exclusively. No instant for this hippy! I mainly use a single cup Bodum cafetiere when I'm home, though occasionally when I’m feeling ambitious, I do make myself a fresh capppucino. Some of you might call a cafetiere a coffee-press or plunger, it’s all the same thing.

I used a single estate, ground coffee from Guatamala, it's not that much more expensive than bog-standard and it tastes much better. And rather than sweeten my coffee with sugar, I used a vanilla flavoured coffee syrup and put in a dash of ground cinnamon before topping it off with some semi-skimmed milk.

Ok, it may sound a bit poncy, but what can I say, I'm a connoisseur of all things delicious. And it's worth the little extra time and effort. Do you drink instant? Shame on you!

Well I'd love to sit here and type my own special brand of drivel for you all day, as you are the vanguard of the internet elite, but this house ain't gonna clean itself! As always the threat of me returning with a head full of shrooms looms large, but if I am lucky, I'll be so monged that typing won't be an option. Catch ya on the flipside!
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