VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Welcome to a kinder, gentler, more humble hippy experience...

You'll note at first glance that I've removed the link to that vulgar and self-serving page, the "BEST" of the hippy.

What sort of person must I be to trumpet my own horn quite so loudly? I don't know what I could have been thinking to put together such a page. I now recognize my place in this world as a complete nobody, a nothing, a zero.

My foolish dreams for world-wide-web domination must come to an abrupt end. How could I have really thought that this one tiny inconsequential blog would have any impact on society? I now know that this will never be.

Thank you for putting up with my egotism and megalomania, I hope at least it provided you with some amusement and maybe a few laughs. You've been my faithful hippyfans for over 8 months and for that I am very grateful. Through the rough and the smooth, the good and the bad, you've all stuck by me. Well, most of you.


Oh get real! Do you really think I'd give up that easily? Fuck that shit, man! I'm back, I'm bad and I'm as crazeeeee as ever! Go on, give us a super-sized yippppeeeee!

I really have removed the "BEST" of the hippy link from the page though. It still can be found on my crappy little Geocities homepage, but I've decided to keep it out of the blog. I want this page to be pure, unadulterated hippy, and in some ways having a "best of" page cheapens that. I think so anyway.

Besides, a truly loyal hippyfan would be just like me, a "completest" and you would need to read each and every individual entry anyway. How else can you get closer to me, if you don't hang on every single word I've ever written. And you do hang on every single word, don't you? And I know you want to get closer to this hippy! Fuckin' hell, you better!

I've been working on a hippyvoice to use for radio call-ins. I could be a regular guest on some lucky radio programme. They could feature me once or twice a week. The voice I would use would not be my own, though people close to me might recognize it - I hope not. I’ve been practicing make my voice deeper and really raspy. I probably sound like some kind of obscene phone-caller, but that would work for my purposes.

I could talk about events in the news, pop culture, music and of course drugs and the sacred art of being the northlondonhippy. I could give shrooming tips. I could encourage sixteen year old Britney look-a-likes to get in touch. I'm sure a look-a-like could provide just as fine a BJ service at a price I can afford!

I was thinking that one possibility could be Pete & Geoff's Breakfast Show on Virgin Radio. I listen to them a lot when I'm driving home from work in the morning. They like to feature eccentrics and crazeeees, so I'd fit right in. I think they would dig what I do here as well. They always joke that's Geoff's a dopehead, so we'd hit it right off.

Naturally, I'd tone down my act a bit, wouldn't say "fuck" or talk about BJ's or anything. I'd be on my best hippy behaviour. And it would be well timed for me, since I'm usually a bit wired after I finish working. I could go on-air, do my hippyrant, then sleep the sleep of the truly blessed. Think they'd go for it? I bet it would attract loads of UK-based hippyfans!

Plus VIRGIN RADIO is streamed live on the net, so it wouldn't matter what country you're digging it from. That link there will take you straight to the page that will let you listen to it too!

And that's not all! When I buy my Apple iMAC G5, 20" computer complete with garage band, I'm going to record a hippysong. I'm sure when I release onto the internet FOR FREE, it will race right up the pop charts with a bullet straight to number one! Naturally it will be called "Can I get a yipppppeee (for the hippy!). I bet you're humming it already and I haven't even written it, it's going to be that fucking good!

Yeah. I noticed I said when I buy my iMAC. I'm leaning sharply in that direction, subject to a test drive. Talk to anyone who already owns an Apple computer and you'll see just how devoted they must be for a reason.

And speaking of major purchases, I think the hippymobile mach two is very much in my future! I've decided I miss having a car too much to go without one much longer. With a very modest budget, I hope to secure a compact, pre-owned auto. I'm leaving towards a VW Polo, which is small, zippy and they seem to have a good reputation. I'm hoping in the next fortnight to realise this dream. The computer will have to wait until after the dreaded Xmas holidays.

And yes, I'm dreading Xmas. This hippy is taking the coward's way out and working right through them. It's the first xmas without my dad, which shouldn't really matter to a heathen like me, but it does. I'm still missing him lots.

And in January, this hippy turns 42 years old. Fuckkkkkkkkkk. No, it's ok really. Age ain't nothing but a number anyway. This year has sucked rather royally, with the exception of me finding a new job that is. Next year can only be better. It can't possibly be worse.

Oh and don't worry about my birthday, I've decided not to mention the specific date in January. That way, I'll have the entire month to moan about it. So no need to concern yourselves with gifts and birthday cards and such. All you'll need to do is gimme a little yippppeeeeee and I'll be just fine.

And as for that kinder, gentler, more humble hippy? He's only make-believe. You've seen for yourself, there's no stopping this hippy and his maniacal quest for global supremcy!!
I almost had a heart attack as I started to read this one. I thought you were about to announce you were going to stop blogging and sign off! I would have had a withdrawal syndrome - like a deprived junkie. Glad to know you are going to stick around. Great.
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