VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Hey hippy! No car for you today!

Fuckers!

So I got up this morning, prepared to implement my action plan and only made it as far as phoning the dealer. No, it wasn't already sold. Worse, the car guy was a twat, he started out by telling me the listing on his website for the car was wrong and it lacked some of the equipment mentioned. Most notably the power steering, which is a must for city driving, or rather parking. He then said he'd had a couple of other calls on the car already, which really didn't matter. Put it this way, he was not welcoming at all. He even said he had no other cars like it in stock. So much for being encouraged spending my money.

The previous hippymobile, which I tried to give away to promote this very blog, did NOT have power steering. It was no fun to drive at low speeds and especially to park. It was a big heavy car as well. A Polo without power steering wouldn't be as bad, but I promised myself my next car would have it, dammit!

I've been following the ads for a couple of weeks now and there's nothing else similarly available in my area in my price range. I'm shit outta luck today, the day I was to buy a car. Perhaps next week I might have another chance. Here's hoping, but I can't imagine December is a great month for buying and selling used cars what with xmas and all. Everyone's shopping for tat, not cars! Except me, of course.

So all my cunning plans for today are now shot to shit, but like a stoned phoenix, rising from the ashes of my failure and disappointment, I live to soar high again. Ok, the only ashes around here are from the spliff I'm puffing on, but I'm thinking today may be turning into an excellent day for communing with my mushroom god.

I've got practical stuff I could be doing, but that's always true. Perhaps I should leap at the chance to shroom my socks off. I'm got the time, the place and the shrooms, what the fuck am I waiting for?

Oh shit, that party tonight. If I shroom, there's no chance in hell I'm going to want to go out and get pissed tonight. But let's face the cold hard realities here hippy, you really didn't want to go to this party.

In truth, a week or so ago when I was invited, it seemed like a great idea. But as the date has approached, I've been less and less inclined to attend. The old anti-social qualities are coming out again. I do mean well, I really do, but the idea of making wanky small talk with a bunch of (nice, normalish, decent) people doesn't really appeal to me tonight. I think my mind is made up, I'll worry about the details later. A text to a mate of mine with a suitably convincing excuse (something's suddenly come up springs to mind) and I should be off the hook.

Ok, it's 11:20am hippytime. Assuming I can sort out a few key, simple things around the house, I'll be ingesting a boatload of shrooms within the next hour. It's time to implement a new action plan for today! Yipppppeeee for the hippy and yippppeeee for my mushroom god!
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