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Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I'm still in a pissy mood. I'm over-tired, under-rested and possibly I'll be working the next 2 nights.

I nearly had to go in last night. It's a long story, but basically I was put on the spot in a big way and resisted the pressure. I'm sure they got by without me, no one is indispensable. I might not be able to slip out of it so easily tonight and tomorrow.

I was really looking forward to relaxing this week, sorting out a car and generally taking care of all sorts of little errands and things that I won't have time for once I get busy again. I would say the chances of me staying off for the rest of the week are slim to none. What's worse is I won't know either way for at least a couple of hours. If I need to work, I'd really like to go back to bed as soon as possible, so I am not a complete grump-monster.

I'm really pissed off about the circumstances surrounding all of this, but I'm not going to get into those details here.

I've been awake for hours and hours and hours. I fell asleep before 11pm last night. Maybe I'm coming down with something, perhaps it really is my age catching up to me. My body clock is completely screwy and I am feeling exhausted.

Even if I don't go in tonight, I feel like my week has been ruined. I haven't had a proper break since September. I've worked loads. I know I should be grateful for it, and I am, but I'm over-doing it a bit and working this week is more than I bargained for. I might not have a choice, though frequently choice is just an illusion anyway.

Damn, damn, damn. If I refuse, it will do me no good whatsoever. I'm fucked either way.
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