VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Friday, December 31, 2004

Less than an hour to go before Big Ben chimes in the New Year. I promised I'd be back one last time before 2004 is shown the back door. Here I am and guess what?

I've sneaked off to the PC at someone else's house, I'm blogging from a big fuck-off party in north London! There's plenty of booze, drugs and available women, though I'll only be partaking of the first two goodies on offer. Mrs. Hippy would never forgive me, and I'd never forgive myself if I took advantage of the third. Besides, who'd want to shag me, a short, fat, bald hippy from north London?

Attending the party was a last minute decision. My friend invited me a while ago, but I expected to be away and declined the invitation. Around lunchtime today, I thought, fuck this shit man, I need to party with a bunch of people I don't know. I need to be around people who don't drink or take drugs most of the year, so I can watch them make utter fucking twats of themselves.

What are you fucking mad? Do you really think I'd be at some New Year's Eve party? Did I really fool you? If I did, perhaps you started dipping into the cooking sherry too early.

Of course I'm not at some stupid party. I wasn't invited to a single one. Not that I would, being a hippyhermit and all. Innit.

Sorry if I was fucking with you there a bit, but you have to remember this blog is here to amuse one person first and foremost. Um, that's me, since I’m selfish, self-centered and a master of self-abuse.

Way hey, whoa ho, this hippy's gonna blow!

That's not true either. I'm having a very sedate New Year's Eve. Yes, there's spliff, but not much else. I debated a big fat dose of shrooms, but decided it would be better to see in the New Year with them, than see out the old. In other words, tomorrow is shroom day, tonight is not.

I prefer shrooming during the daylight hours anyway, it's easier to see the really extra-pretty colours.

I'm in my lounge, ensconced in my lair, with the lights off, except for my groovy, cool laserpod. If I can manage to keep my eyes open, I might watch tv at midnight, see the date change. Big whoop and all that.

Where I live, in fabulous north London, the locals like to celebrate by blowing up loads of firecrackers and other explosive devices. They also fire their guns, so watch out when those bullets fall back to earth. They can kill you. Don't worry, I'm safe, I'm wearing my hippy hard hat.

So there was no hippy retrospective, just me trying to compensate for the fact that I'm here, on my own, feeling down, feeling depressed, feeling like another year has gone by without anything particularly good happening, just lots and lots of B-A-D.

It's just a date; New Year's Eve doesn't really mean anything. Well, what it means is some weirdoes in funny robes a long time ago arbitrarily decided to start measuring the days, beginning on this date. That's all. It's just how us humans keep track of the date, it's just a number. It don't mean shit.

If you're out tonight, on what many people call amateur night; be careful. There are a lot of losers out there that want to die and maybe take you with them. Be safe, take your drugs, drink your booze and stay in one place. Try to get laid, but use a condom if you do. And if you don't, remember this, when you get home and have a wank, it's the first one of the New Year. Nothing like starting the year off right, eh?

Here's to everyone who's helped make the northlondonhippy blog a success. Oh wait, that's just me. And who said it was a success? I didn't even crack the magic one-thousand hit mark. There's always next year.

Happy 2005 fuckers! Stay cool, stay high, stay hippyfans eternally!
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