VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas hippyfans!

As I write these words, Jesus is probably sliding down your chimney with that PS2 or iPOD. I hope you left out some snacks. I hear he really likes cheese flavoured Doritos, but don't quote me. You only need to leave out one and he can replicate them, just like he did with the bread and the fish.

Blasphemy hippy! There's a special spot reserved for you in HELL!

Hey! I'd like you all to spare a thought for those of us working throughout the holiday period. Without us, the world would just stop turning. It doesn't matter what we're doing, be doctor, nurse, cab driver, waitress or "media professional", we've auctioned off our xmas so you don't have to! How about a yipppppeeeee for all of us?

Thanks, I really needed that yippppeeee.

I'm bored, so is everyone else surrounding me. There's food, a little bit of booze and not much else to do.

I've found myself reflecting back on xmas's gone by. They weren't always like this. The first xmas I ever worked was exactly 15 years ago, tonight as it happens. Instead of spending it with my family, I sold it out for 400 bucks and cab fare. As it turns out, I only had 2 more xmas's with my parents' after that one. I'd happily return the 400 dollars for one more xmas with my parents. It doesn't work that way, hippy you twat.

When I was a kid, xmas was special. My parents were always very generous. If I'm honest, they spoiled my younger (now estranged) brother and I rotten. We always got loads of gifts. Ok, we were a little bit well-off, but not rich by today's standards.

I used to get so excited when I was a child, that I couldn't get to sleep on xmas eve. It use to drive my parents mad, waiting for me to fall asleep so they could do their santa-business and turn in themselves.

The anticipation was maddening. My parents were pretty good about hiding my gifts, so I wasn't usually sure what I'd be receiving. I'd lay in bed, tossing & turning, unable to calm my mind enough to greet the sandman. That's when xmas meant something to me.

I don't mean about Jesus and all that, but family. I miss my family. I miss being a kid. Why don't they tell you to make the most of it. Actually, my mother used to, but I didn't pay attention. Ho hum.

I've worked countless xmas's since then, though not in the last few years. This is actually the first one since probably 1997, which is a good long time. I did work the Millenium, though, as if that counts for anything.

Enough of this maudlin shit. Tomorrow night, everyone's already talking about having more to drink, which I think is probably a good plan. I'd quite enjoy being rat-assed for the entire night. Just imagine how much blogging will be when I'm pissed!

And on that happy note, I'll bid you all sweet dreams of sugar-plum fairies and shiny, brand-new gifts. Merry xmas to all and to all a good night!
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