VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Perhaps I spoke to soon regarding the UK government and the legality of fresh, magic mushrooms.

I caught THIS ARTICLE as well as THIS ONE and a FEW OTHERS this morning while doing my usual rounds of the news sites online. It looks like the Home Office isn't giving up on their dream banning them and increasing the penalties for possession. The fuckers. Even the VOICE OF THE MIRROR disagrees with this move. So does this hippy!

I guess I always knew that the party wouldn't last. It really is a shame, since shrooms are the perfect drug and I've enjoyed them very much, but at some point in the not too distant future, they won't be freely available any more. It sounds like the “grow kits” will also be banned, something I didn't expect. Shit.

So where does that leave the world's favourite northlondonhippy? Can I still claim to be the "most shroomtastic stoner on the internet"? I suppose I could, if I added that I "used to be", but where's the fun or immediacy in that?

Don't worry though, I'll always be the "biggest internet celebrity that no one's ever heard of"; that's a title no one is rushing to take away from me!

I do have an announcement to make regarding this change in the shroom laws. In order for British news outlets to be in a position to properly tell this story in a fair and balanced way, the northlondonhippy would like confirm my media availability to comment on this important issue.

That's right, yours truly has opened the door to any and all media, be it print, online, radio, television or long-form documentary for theatrical release. I'm the hippy who just can't say "no".

So if you need someone knowledgeable, articulate and experienced on the subject of "magic mushrooms", please don't hesitate in contact me. I can be reached on my usual hippy email, which is

Please note that one of my conditions for interview is that my secret internet identity is preserved and my real-life name is never revealed. That's more important now, than ever, with the government getting ready to go after all the other groovy shroomers, which includes me.

See, that's the thing. There's now a big infrastructure in the UK for the growth and importation of fresh shroomies. Will it just go away because the laws have changed or will it go underground?

That would depend upon demand, which at the moment is quite high, though that is probably a result of the openness of the trade. Would that demand continue after a ban? It would for this hippy, but would I be able to find any? I expect with a little effort and a little cash, the answer would be a big fat "yes".

Suppose I give up on shrooms, it could happen. If the expense and hassles of getting them prove to be too much, it is possible I could let go of my favourite natural high. Then what?

I know what a lot of other people are going to do. There going to turn back to substances that will be much easier to score, good old class "A's" like coke, acid and ecstasy. Not me, though. I have given all that shit up for good. Though MDMA powder could prove a temptation, I am determined to remain steadfast in my avoidance of all things chemical.

Well, as I mentioned recently, there is Ayahuasca, the brew made from a mixture of Amazonian plants favoured by Brazilian medicine men. It would require lots of research, is suppose to taste foul and make you barf, but supposedly causes the most amazing visions. Is it more dangerous than shrooms, which are very safe? Possibly, because it is stronger, but I would do my homework, like I did with shrooms, before experimenting with this.

There's always that other well known psychedelic mushroom, the FLY AGARIC, which is currently legal in the UK. You'll recognize them, with their red colour with spots. They are thought to be poisonous, but drying them at a certain temperature converts the poison into the active ingredient and they come already dried and prepared for use, so the risks are minimal. I've not thought about trying any until now.

See Mister Government Man, you are pushing me into other drugs already! Damn you and your dumb ideas!

There are loads of pschyoactive herbs and plants for me to experiment with instead of shrooms. I just wish I didn't need to. I've never had a bad time with shrooms, they have been nothing but great fun for me.

And if I can be briefly serious, if I'm not able to shroom, I won't be able to commune with my mushroom god. I wonder if this is something I could pursue in court. I'm not joking. It has become my personal religion and without shrooms, I won't be able to practice it. Perhaps this is the one issue I've ever encountered that would inspire me to take a stand. Should I really try to fight this? Would I even stand a chance?

I bet the European Court of Human Rights would take this seriously, if I could find a lawyer to fight it for me, pro-bono. How about Bono himself, he likes fight for lost causes? Bet he digs shrooms!

I'm trying to be serious here!

When you take enough magic mushrooms, you do enter another world, a different dimension, where the mushroom god shows you the secret stuff that lurks beneath the surface of everything. This is about as spiritual as this heathen hippy gets here, isn't religious freedom a basic human right?. Doing this is good for my mental and spiritual health, don't you want this hippy to remain sane?

You call yourself sane, you crazy hippy! You really are on drugs. Just not enough of them.
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