VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Monday, January 24, 2005

I’ll be making the big announcement tomorrow. That's what you're waiting for, isn't it?

I know that’s what you’ve all been checking for so diligently. You are dying to know the date of the “shroom with the hippy contest”!

Who can blame you? I’m giving one especially lucky hippyfan the chance to enjoy an afternoon of shrooming with me. This prize is priceless, there’s no way you could purchase an opportunity like this!

That’s a big lie. As I’ve said before, I would consider making personal appearances, all shroomed up and lairy. Go on, you can email me for my rather inflated rates. This hippy don’t come cheap! Fuckers!

I suppose the one unique aspect of the contest is that the winner gets to shroom with me here in my north London lair. I very rarely have guests or visitors, so one of you is actually getting to fully immerse themselves in my weird and twisted world.

This contest is not for the faint of heart or those with a weak constitution. You’ve got to be ready and able to party with this hippy if you want to join this competition.

I’ll be supplying all you need to know to enter the contest in my next post tomorrow. I hope you’ve already started working on your entry. There’s no limit on the length of your reply.

Do you remember the question? To enter, all you will need to do is email me with a reply to this simple question:

"Why should that crazeeeee hippy pick me for an afternoon of shrooming?"

Be creative, be controversial and as always, offers of sexual favours will magically make it to the top of the list.

Just kidding. (wink)

I promise to review each entry personally in my quest to find the perfect afternoon shrooming partner. I’ll supply the shrooms, the weed, the soft drinks and the entertainment. All you need to do is provide your own transport to and from my lair here in fabulous north London.

Why only soft drinks? Simple, booze and shrooms don’t mix. It’s a combination I would not recommend.

Isn’t it great that we all have something to look forward to? Though I’m also looking forward to an afternoon of shrooming this week, I’m going to try those Hawaiians finally. If I’m a really good hippy, it might even be tomorrow, but it all depends on how much of my real life stuff I can get done in the morning.

If I reach a point where I’ve crossed enough off my list of important shit to do this week, I’m going to be ingesting around 20 grams of fresh Copelandia Cyanescens. They’re supposed to be the strongest shrooms commercially available. This hippy will be the judge of that and I’m really looking forward to getting off my face on them tomorrow.

JOHNNY CARSON died today, he was 79 years old. Now, if you’re outside America, that name will be meaningless to you. Even inside the states, if you’re under a certain age, you might not know who I mean.

But if you’re like me, of a certain age or older and grew up watching TV in America, you’ll know exactly who I mean. Johnny was the undisputed king of late night television for decades. Before cable and satellite, when all you had was a handful of channels, “The Tonight Show” was always the best option. Everyone watched him.

Johnny’s monologues captured so much of what was happening on the day. He took the pulse of the nation every night at 11:30pm with humour, wit and a style that was truly his own.

The television industry owes Johnny a lot, he’s responsible for introducing the public to generations of comedians and musicians. His format, especially the opening monologue is one of the most imitated program formats in the world. Just about every country has a show that looks something like “The Tonight Show”, right down to the desk and sofa set.

And you see how I keep referring to him as “Johnny”. That’s all you ever had to call him, people would always know who you meant. Like if you said “Elvis” or “Madonna” even. He was that well known.

Johnny retired from television in the early 90’s and stayed firmly out of the spotlight. He did a guest voice appearance on an episode of “The Simpsons” and occasionally you might see him in a cut-away at a tennis match. He was a big fan of the sport as well as a serious amateur player. He might have done more, but living in north London means I might not be aware of it.

About three days ago, I caught THIS REPORT online that claimed Johnny was still contributing the occasion joke to David Letterman’s monologues. When I discovered he passed away this evening, I thought it was odd that I was reading about him that recently. He's not someone whose name had been in the news much in the last 10-12 years. Life is oddly connected in ways we can only imagine, but never truly understand.

As you might have guessed, I was a fan growing up. For a tv junky like me, his program was frequently the last thing I watched before I went to sleep at night. His sense of comedy was always spot on, he was a very quick wit. He had the sort of perfect timing in his delivery that other comedians can only dream of and he could say more with a glance or a raised eyebrow than most actors could.

He used to always be introduced with the now immortal line “Here’s Johnny!” Yes, like in “The Shining”, that’s where Nicholson’s catch phrase comes from. You have seen the film, haven’t you? Ok, then you must have read the book!

Good bye, Johnny! We already missed you, now we mourn you! Thanks for all the laughs!

I stayed up until the mid-afternoon today, before I crawled into my bed and slept more than I planned. I emerged from slumber around 9pm and joined Mrs. Hippy for the final of Celebrity Big Brother.

I didn’t see that much of this series, but the bits that I saw were quite funny. They really made it unpleasant for the celebs (if I can be so bolds as to call them that!) this time.

If you haven’t heard, Bez from the “Happy Mondays” won it. I’m pleased for him, he seems like a decent guy, he’s a serious spliff head and he said how much he could use the dosh! Good on’em for winning it! He’s a right sorted diamond geezer, innit?

But there’s going to be an even bigger winner very soon and that will be the winner of the “shroom with the hippy contest”! It’s the prize you can’t put a price on!

You can feel the anticipation building, like the forces of a volcano as it approaches eruption as advanced word of the contest spreads across the internet like warm butter on toast. Big corporations spend millions on viral marketing to create the sort of underground buzz coming from this impending event.

Come back tomorrow for all the details you’ve been waiting for…all the details that you need to brighten up your otherwise bleak and dreary existences!

The big announcement is now less than 24 hours away! I don’t know about you, but I’m so fucking excited, I just might piss myself. How are any of us going to possibly get any sleep tonight?
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