VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Tick, tock.

The countdown to the "1st annual northlondonhippy online shroom session" continues, with about 19 hours to go before the fun begins! Have you scored your shrooms? Have you checked you have a java-enabled browser? Good!

Because at 1200GMT tomorrow, I'll be shroomed up and online in my very own chatroom, waiting for you to join me! Haven't got any shrooms? Shame on you!

But all is not lost, as long as you have some sort of mind-altering substance, you are welcome to join in on the party, and that includes alcohol. A bit of booze will do you, just as long as no one is sober. You need to be fucked up on something, that's the only pre-requisite.

And hey, suppose you were in north London and you wanted to do more than virtually shroom with this hippy? Anything is possible, but I promise nothing! Except that I'll be online and shroomed up from 1200-2000 GMT, see earlier entries for times in your region.

I went to the Apple Store today and had a quick look at the iMAC G5. I wasn't blown away.

I didn't find it that intuitive, the single-button “scroll-wheel-less” mouse seemed like a step backwards. It was too busy for me to get a proper demo from someone, but the fact that I didn't get very far on my own, didn't really impress me. I'm usually pretty good with computers and technology.

Now I'm more confused than ever!

I'm impressed with the design, no doubt about that, but I didn't expect it to be such a dramatic difference from Windows. Perhaps I should have a 2nd look, try to get a proper demo, but today left me feeling like I should reconsider a PC. Dell and MESH have some good deals to be had, you can get a lot more machine for the same dosh as an iMAC. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm going to make a decision in the next fortnight.

So there!

Maybe you can tell me what you think, when you drop by the "northlondonhippy's shroom room" tomorrow.

There's a buzz rolling out right across the entire net for the history-making event, like a background hum, increasing in volume. If you’re quiet and listen close, you can hear it too.

No one has ever had a "virtual, online shroom session" before, so the concept is truly unprecedented. Do you want to be a part of history? Of course you do!

I'm all about innovation and taking the next great leap forward, dare you try to stay in step with me? Of course you dare, that's why you've got your shrooms ready to go for tomorrow.

Think of the extra added value tomorrow's online shroom session brings to my blog. Remember that there's nothing I won't do to promote this blog, I even tried to give my own car away in the quest for more hippyfans. How many other bloggers would stoop that low, I mean reach so high just for his adoring public.

And you do adore me, don't you? I can feel your unbridled adoration flowing through the internet, like the blood in my veins.

"I'm blogging my life away, every night and every day!" Just for you!

Never forget, "I'm living that hippy life, so you don't have to!" I do it all for you, my dear readers, with every breath I draw, with every drug I take, I do it just for YOU!

And I don't ask for that much in return, do I? The occasional yippppeee, your participation in the big fuckoff shroom thing tomorrow, not much else. I'd never ask you for a subscription and I don't have any current plans to market a line of northlondonhippy products. Though to be fair, I would consider certain endorsement opportunities, a line of hippy branded bongs, or perhaps a testimonial to a chain of take-aways, that sort of thing. I'm a capitalist, in case you require a reminder!

Got a proposition for the hippy? I'm always open to interesting business ideas. The hippy brand has potential, would you like to be the one to help me unlock it? Because if the hippy tells you something is worth your hard-earned cash, you know it has to be good!

Seriously, have your people phone my people. Once I have some people, they'll answer the phone and get right back to your people. Before you know it, we'll be running ideas up the flagpole, just to see who salutes. I can sense synergy, can't you?

I just wanna make an easy buck and so far this blog hasn't made me a red cent. Oh lord, will it ever change?

I've been playing around with "Blog Snob", which is a simple link exchange system. Every time this page is displayed, I earn credits, which are redeemed when my ads appear on other people's pages. It seems simple enough, I'm waiting to see if I notice any improvement in the traffic to the site. I hope so.

I've created a campaign, based upon some of my slogans and catch phrases, plus a few others, that I hope will attract people's attention enough for them to click through to me. Here's the list of all ten, which I want to share with you now.

All the ads have a link at the top to this site, then one of the following 10 taglines:

1) The most shroomtastic stoner on the net!
2) He's the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!
3) Living the hippy life, so you don't have to!
4) He'll make you laugh, make you think & make you wish you were a hippy too!
5) Become a member of the vanguard of the internet elite! Become a hippyfan!
6) Do us both a favour and just click here, ok? It's not like I want money!
7) Total happiness is just one click away. Go on, you know it makes sense!
8) Have you sampled his "special brand of drivel"? What are you waiting for?
9) Making life simple! Yours and mine! Are you down with the hippy?
10)He's bloggin' his life away, every night & every day, just for you!

At the bottom is the url to the site, as well.

Here's hoping some cool people catch these ads and check out this blog!

Anyway, enough of my special brand of drivel for now. I'll be back tomorrow with joining instructions for the "northlondonhippy's shroom room" and a head full of Colombian p.cubes. I hope you'll join me in putting the FUN into FUNgus! I'm looking forward to virtually seeing YOU there!
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