Hey, ho, let's go!
Everyone's favourite "unashamed internet weirdo" is here and at your service. Just tell me your requirements and I'll aim to deliver! Am I still the "biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of?" How can that be? 2005 is the year of the hippy, I'm right on the cusp of breaking mainstream. It'll be hippy coffee mugs and baseball caps everywhere you look, but if you're nice, maybe I'll send you some for free!
I'm at work, doing my sneaky email-to-post blog thingy. The casual passer-by will merely think I'm sending a private email, little do they know that I'm actually sharing my secret thoughts with the wider world on the web. It's good to stay private, even better to remain secret.
And I plan on keeping my identity a secret for a very long time.I find it easier to be honest, when no one knows who I am.
Though to be fair, I could type my full name right now, right here and it would be completely meaningless to absolutely everyone reading my "special brand of drivel". Perhaps one day, when the northlondonhippy is a household name, I'll reveal my true identity.
When that day comes, my oh my, will you be disappointed!
Until that day comes, my identity will remain one of the most closely guarded secrets in modern times. My passport is in the same safe, in Atlanta, where they keep the secret formula for Coca Cola, so you know I'm serious.
Perhaps you have a mental picture of me already, it would only be normal to try to visualise what I look like. I know I continue to describe myself as short, fat and bald, so perhaps this colours your vision of me. I'm not really that short, or that bald, but I've blown up like a blimp in the last year or so! Does that change your mental image of me as well?
It doesn't really matter what I look like, what matters are my words, my thoughts and my weird and twisted world. That's what you come here for, again and again.
Here in the world of the hippy, life is one long non-stop rock'n'roll party, where all the drugs are free, all the women are easy and the northlondonhippy is the king of the known (and unknown) universe. God is for suckers, worship the hippy instead!
I like this emailing thing, it's very slick and sly. I'm digging it so much, I might even come back later and feed your hippyfix some more. Go on, admit it, you crave the hippy like a drug, don't you?