VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Well, that’s it kids. The deadline has now passed us and either you emailed me or you didn’t. If you did, be very sure that I’ll be carefully studying every word that you’ve written, trying to find those special qualities that make you a winner!

So are you confident? Are you ready? One of you is going to be shrooming with me, the “most shroomtastic stoner on the internet” come this Saturday!

Can you stand it? Well, it won’t be long now! May the very best hippyfan win!

Ok, now to move on to other matters. Something is really pissing me off. You can read the article for yourself, RIGHT HERE, then come back for my “uncensored thoughts and feelings”.

You didn’t really read it, that’s cheating. Now go read it and come back!

That’s better.

Ok, so the police chief, in his first day on the job, in his first ever contact with the media, said that stopping middle-class cocaine use should be a police priority. What the fuck?

Yep, he said he wants to make a few high profile arrests to send a message to all those decent folks who like a line or 2 after their posh dinner party.

He didn’t mention: Gun crime, knife crime, assault, robbery, mugging, rape, crime against property, vandalism, hooliganism, or public drunkenness.

Now, here in the ghettos of fabulous north London, where this hippy resides, middle-class cocaine use and abuse has absolutely no effect on my life. Cokeheads with jobs don’t steal your stereo or slit your throat for whatever pocket change they can nick from you. They stay inside their nice, clean homes, snorting themselves silly and talking absolute shite. This doesn’t hurt anyone.

But here in my north London ghetto, knife crime, gun crime, muggings and all that other bad shit has a real effect on my life. We live in fear of real crime, crime that can kill you when you’re not even asking to die.

Now, as you know from my admissions here, I’ve done coke but not in a long time. I gave it up a while ago for good, I’m no fan of it, but I’m not a zealot in the “ex-smoker” mold, I’m not going to lecture you about it.

It would seem to me, though I don’t have a background in law enforcement, that it would make much more sense to allocate police resources to crimes which hurt people.

The new head of the London Metropolitan Police is not quite as progressive as I am. He thinks valuable police time should be spent catching people with jobs who like to take coke. The same people who pay the taxes that pay his salary and the entire budget of his force. Where is the logic in that?

Around my neighbourhood, there seems to be a murder or 2 every week and countless muggings, break-ins and robberies. How about some high profile policing around here, where it might be a deterrent? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

Sorry, but if the most senior cop in London thinks the biggest problem in town is that cocaine use is “socially acceptable” with employed, intelligent, independent thinkers, then something is seriously wrong with him being in the post.

Might I be the first to call for his swift and apologetic resignation. The people of London deserve someone who actually gives a shit about our safety. At the very least, he should be trying to fix it so some fucking crackhead doesn’t nick my car stereo just to buy his next rock!

That ends today’s “drug rant”. It was a doosey.

I’m tired, so tired, so uninspired, I’m tired. So it’s off to hit the hippy hay!

Look out for the big announcement of the contest winner sometime tomorrow! I’ve got a lot of entry-reading to do!
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