VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

The big VOSS is only 2 weeks away! Can you stand it, fuckers?

Hey! Did somebody order a hippy, with extra cheese?

Well, I’m the cheesiest hippy you’re ever gonna meet! No free garlic bread though, unless you have a coupon.

I’m at work, logged in and blogged on earlier than usual. It’s been busy, but not overwhelmed. I’m all sorted now, so my attention can turn to more personal matters, like my continuing quest for internet stardom.

Can you believe that I’ve been blogging for nearly a year and I’m not already fabulously wealthy and well-known?

I would have thought by now I’d have a newspaper column, a book in the shops (a collection of my columns and this blog naturally), my own feature film on general release and an album of original music shooting up the charts to number one.

Instead, I have sweet fuck-all.

That’s not 100% true though, is it? There’s one thing I’ve got that’s better than all those things combined. What I’ve got is: YOU.

That’s right, my loyal hippyfan, I have you and more importantly you have me.

I’m like that weird friend you have, that you hardly ever see, but think of fondly on occasion. Though you’re thankful they don’t have your current telephone number.

Hippyfans are what make this blog worthwhile, you’re all special and you make my life complete. I don’t know what I would do without you…

I’ll never have to find out, because once you are a hippyfan, you’re a hippyfan eternally. I’m working on setting up a special section in the underworld exclusively for hippyfans. Then we really can spend eternity together. Somebody better bring lots of Rizlas.

Never forget that I’m blogging my life away, every night and every day, just for you! I’m your personal saviour, I’m the messiah of the internet. Oh hippy please, deliver us from evil!

Enough already.

I didn’t get nearly enough sleep today. It happens, but I’m feeling worse for wear as a result of it. I had less than 5 hours, which is not good for this hippy. I aim for a minimum of six hours at least, but today that just didn’t happen.

I’m only working tonight, I’m not back after this until Tuesday night, so I’ll have 3 nights off to have some fun. Mrs. H is visiting her family this weekend, so tomorrow night, I’m on my lonesome. Perhaps the mushroom god will keep me company.

I haven’t actually decided to shroom tomorrow night. It’s fucking tempting since its over a month since my last little trip. It wasn’t really that little, it was actually massive. The last time I shroomed, was the night of “my shroom hell”.

I’m ready to shroom again now and if I don’t do it tomorrow night, then it will be over a week before I have another chance. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow night, but I’m not making myself any promises.

I tried to spend even more money today. I failed. Badly.

I’ve decided which DV camera I’m going to buy, the mid-priced, mid-range Sony PCR HC42E. There are some good deals to be had, but not for this hippy.

The first place I tried to order from is based not far from my lair, so the delivery would be quick. I got as far as the payment page, but the little padlock signifying a secure, encrypted connection was missing. They had a note on the site that said their system was “so complex” that sometimes the padlock doesn’t display. Fucking bollocks to that. I’ve never heard of such a thing so I didn’t complete the order.

Then I phoned the same company, to place the order that way. I started with some of the accessories I needed, before even mentioning the camera. The guy on the phone started trying to sell me a different brand of battery and fastcharger. I never heard of the brand, so I told him I would think about it. The brand was called “Hahnel” and a little research has led me to believe they are decent, so I might reconsider.

I then went to a second company, who could match the price of the camera at the first company. I got as far as their payment page, which was encrypted, then decided I wasn’t awake enough to be spending that kind of money. I’ve left it for now.

I still might order it from the first company, now that I know they weren’t trying to sell me rubbish extras. If they are open tomorrow and can deliver on Monday or Tuesday, it could be a plan.

I’m on a massive spending spree, but that’s because it’s been years since I bought myself anything new or cool. I’m overdue.

Very soon, my all new, all digital lifestyle will be complete and happiness will be the only emotion I ever know. Just a few more purchases and my life will be perfect. Things really do bring you happiness, just ask Santa Claus.

If anyone out there would like to send me a couple of grand, in British pounds, sterling, please do. Then I can expedite my purchases and bring total happiness to my life that much sooner. Go on, it’s not like you need the money, you probably already have too much already anyway.

If you would like to make a significant donation towards my quest for an all digital lifestyle, please email me on for details on how to get all that dirty money into my hot little hands.

Don’t think I’m serious, think again! I ain’t to proud to beg, sweet darlin’, but then neither was Mick Jagger and look where he is now! I bet his all digital lifestyle is better than my wildest dreams. I bet he even has a big screen plasma tv!

See, I’m not greedy, there’s no plasma screen tv on my wishlist. Although, if I get enough money from all of you, I could buy a bigger house with the space for one and I could buy the tv too!

So it’s in your hands, hippyfans. I’m sure some of you are fabulously weathly, why not share some of the love with me? I’m worth every penny and then some.

Don’t you want me to be a happy hippy? A happy hippy is a productive hippy. The more you give me, the more you’ll get back! The choice, my friends, is yours
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