VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

It might be 2 weeks late, but better late than never! The VOSS is this Saturday!! Be there! Click here!

This blog is dying a slow death. If it was a horse, someone would shoot it.

I’m not sure of the exact moment when all my hippyfans abandoned me and left me here to toil on my own, but it’s a fairly recent phenomenon. What did I do? Where did I go wrong?

I’m still the entertaining hippy you’ve all grown to love (and maybe lust after just a bit), I’m still high all the time, I’m still the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet.

I’m still having more fun than you, I’m having more fun than everyone!

Well, all of the above is true, except for the shroomtastic part. I haven’t shroomed since the night of my shroom hell, which was shit, the 5th of February. I know that, because I just looked it up on Google.

Google knows everything, so I don’t have to!

You can read my account of my last shrooming experience right HERE. That is, if you missed it the first time. If you didn’t, well done you!

So I haven’t shroomed in nearly 2 months, do I really have the right to call myself shroomtastic? How about “the most shroomtastic”? I bet you there are people out there more shroomtastic as myself online. But are they blogging their lives away?

Are they fuck!

I’m the only one blogging my life away, every night and every day, just for YOU!

It’s nearly 2am, north London summer time and I’m home, which might surprise you. I’m not back to work for another week, I think. I bet you were waiting for me to say I was working. Well, I’m not, fuckers!

Mrs. Hippy and I went to a concert at the South Bank, Royal Festival Hall. The tickets were a birthday gift from me to Mrs. H and it wouldn’t have been my choice of entertainment.

It was Jonny Greenwood from Radiohead with the London Sinfonietta and other assorted musicians performing lots of usual, dissonant, atonal compositions that were meant to challenge my musical perceptions. What it challenged me to do was remain conscious for over 2 hours.

I’m not a Radiohead fan by any stretch of the imagination, so the whole thing was a bit lost on me. Thom Yorke came out at the end and sang two Radiohead songs with the orchestra of the bizarre and it was the best part of the concert. What that says about the preceding bits is there for you to interpret yourselves. You’re clever, you can dig it.

I went for one reason, to make Mrs. H happy and she enjoyed it very, very much. She’s a big Radiohead fan and she loved it, that’s what counts.

I’d like to think that I’ll be using this Saturday’s big massive giant larger than life fuck-off VOSS as a way to relaunch this blog. I’d like to recapture the magic we all used to feel around here.

Maybe that’s my problem, no shrooms equals a dull blog.

Perhaps I need to start taking other drugs as well. Does anyone know what the latest hip drug is that all the really cool kids are taking? This middle-aged, short, fat, bald hippy desperately needs a double dose!

That’s a genuine problem for me, I’ve run out of new drugs to take. Maybe one of you out there is some sort of organic chemistry whiz. Could you invent something new to get high on? I shouldn’t be that hard. I could be your test market!

I know, I could bake some hash cakes. I used love making hash cakes. The high when you eat cannabis is much different than when you smoke it. I used to make cakes a lot, but haven’t in ages. They’re great!

I’m on to something here. I just cleaned out my weed grinder and the scrapings provided me with around 1/2 a gram of incredibly strong, home pressed hash. I should explain.

I use a Pollinator Space Case, which you can get from any good online headshop. I got mine from EDIT. Do I have to give you the link again? It’s my favourite dope web site. Check the VOSS details link, it’s in there.

Basically, it’s a stainless steel grinder, with a mess bottom and a chamber underneath to catch all the loose crystals that fall from my juicy buds of skunk. Before I had the Space Case, these crystals were just lost. Now they collect in the lower chamber, waiting for me to retrieve them.

Every few months or so, I scrape the crystals out, they look like a loose green powder. I put them into a hash press, also from EDIT. The has press is a metal tube with a couple of big pegs that slip inside it. The hash is pressed between the two pegs, which are forced down by screw caps on either end. Does this make sense? Anyway, you leave it over night and the next day and small pellet of hash is formed.

I don’t get much, but it’s the best hash I’ve ever tasted, the tiniest bit is enough to get you quite high. I still have a bit from the last time as well, so I probably have around 3/4 of a gram. It’s not much, but I could cook something up with it. It’s way too much for a single dose, so I’ll have to think about this.

Maybe just a little in a hot drink with butter to activate the effects would be more sensible, it is nice to smoke as well. Oh, decisions, decisions, don’t you wish you had my problems?

It’s getting late and should be thinking about getting some shut-eye. I’m glad we had this chance to chat. You see, I haven’t really forgotten about you all and you shouldn’t forget about me either!

We can all make it up to each other when we all virtually shroom together this Saturday. It won’t be postponed again, I can assure you of that!
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