VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

That's it. The VOSS is over. It's toast, it's dust. If you missed it, you really missed out.

If it wasn't for the Pope popping his clogs just now, the VOSS would have been the top story on the news. But more on that later.

First, let's dig the big fuck-off motherfucking fuck fuck FUCK VOSS! It was an even bigger success than last time. Special thanks to Shabba B and Hybrid12003 for dropping by and adding so much to the fun. It was especially cool to speak to Hybrid, as he's a proper shroomer from New England in the USA. He grows 'em from scratch, the hard way, so maxium respect!

I'm sorry, but I couldn't possibly thank everyone who dropped in on the VOSS or I would be here all goddamn night! Thanks to everyone who took the time out of their otherwise busy lives to join me for the online fun!

Oh your lives may be bleak and dreary, but you've always got me to keep the fun levels up up UP!

My shrooming experience was somewhat odd. I took 30 grams of Philippine p.cubes plus another 6 grams of Hawaiians on top. Yuck.

I still hate the taste and it's the worst part of shrooming.

As I was coming up and the drug was starting to take hold of my brain, I briefly had a little panic that I might end up as gone as I was during the night of my shroom hell. I didn't and I wouldn't have, as I'm watching out for my dosage more carefully.

The night of my shroom hell certainly had an effect on me, I think it's why I've stayed away from them for nearly 2 months. Even today, when I was taking them, part of me was wondering if I was going to have a bad time.

But I had a great time! Shrooms rule!

I might be short, fat, bald and old, but at least I spent the day monged on shrooms.

Now, this might be premature, but I would like to launch my bid to be the next pope. Consider my hat properly thrown into the ring!

Look fuckers, it makes sense. I'd be a great pope. If I was pope, you could say "the pope smokes dope" and it would be true!

Here's ten reasons why I'd make a great pope:

1) I'd cancel celibacy. That's right priests, you can marry women or each other, I don't really care, as long as you lay off the little boys

2) I'm not catholic. I don't even believe in god. Think of my refreshing approach to everything.

3) No one would go to hell. There is no hell. Hell is in your head.

4) I'd liquify all of the church's assets. The Vatican has shitloads of money, plus artworks, gold, plus all the undeclared stuff they keep in the basement. And once it was all cashed out, I'd divide it up and give you a share. We can all live like kings!

5) I'd cancel church. You could sleep in every Sunday!

6) I'd take the Christ out of Christmas. Isn't xmas better for everyone? Let's face it, all that mumbo jumbo about Jesus and the manger just distracts everyone away from their really cool presents.

7) I'd make sure all women could have abortions on demand. Sorry, but accidents happen and they shouldn't have to be paid for by an unwanted child.

8) Better yet, I'd approve birthcontrol. For some people, I'd make it mandatory.

9) Did I mention celibacy

10) I'll think of number 10 another time

So you see, it just makes good common sense, so when it comes time to vote for the next pope, make sure you vote hippy!

Think I'm joking fuckers, think again. My bid to be pope is not a joke. Give me a little time to get organised and I'll let you know how you can help!

I'm going to resume my evening now, safe in the knowledge that I'll soon be your pope.
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