VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

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Yo fuckers! It's not like I have all goddamn day to spend with you, but a little blast of the hippy right now couldn't hurt, could it?

It's nearly 1pm, north London time, I've been awake for around an hour. It's fairly hot today, with summer finally saying "hello", but that's cool because so am I....I bought mahsef an airconditioner fuckers!

The British are not known for their air conditioning technology and the concept is still quite rare, not just in private homes, but offices as well. I'm lucky, having always worked in television, a/c has always been available. Not to keep us humans cool, but to keep the gear and equipment from overheating. Having one in your home is almost unheard of here....

....Until the summer of 2003, when we had a killer heatwave here in Europe. You might remember that one, loads of old people croaked in France. I tried to buy one around that time and was roundly laughed at, wherever I went, because they were all long sold out.

Since then, air conditioners have been slightly more available, though I gambled last year and didn't even try to buy one. This year, as soon as there was a hint of proper hear coming, I executed my cunning plan to score my very own a/c unit.

I started out online, checking out the different websites that sold them. The problem with all of these sites is that the minimum delivery was 10-14 days. Fuck that shit, man! The best buy on the net was a 12,000 BTU, stand-alone unit from B&Q for ?249, so I decided to go for that one.

My nearest B&Q superstore is about a 15 minute drive from my lair, so I decided to phone them to check they had the sucker in stock...not only did they have some available, but it was on-sale for 20% off! Talk about lucky, eh? That made the price ?197 and change. Dig it!

Now the air conditioner is the size and shape of a Dalek (I hope you're all watching Dr. Who! More on this in a mo') and probably weighed the same as well. I had a trolley at the shop to get it to the car, but I had to lift it into my little Yaris all by myself. Everyone say "awwwwww" for this old, decrepit hippy! It barely fit in my tiny sized car!

Once I got home, I wasn't able to park very close to my front door, which is common here in corner of the ghetto. I then had to carry this giant, heavy box to my front door. It weighed around 100 pounds, or around 40 kilos if you prefer. Fuckin' hell!

I got it inside and I was digging the cool in no time. It has a 1 and 1/2 metre vent out the back that is suppose to go out a window, but I have it aimed at a wall vent in my conservatory, which is the best I can do. It does the job so far and I'm not even sweating right now ! Outstanding!

If you're in the UK and you want one, you better hurry, they are going to sell out fast. The sale at B&Q is on until the 23rd of June, so you can get the same great deal I got if you're really lucky.

And what about the environment, you might be thinking? How green do you think you are, hippy?

The climate is fucked already, my tiny little a/c unit isn't gonna make a blind bit of difference. If global warming really is coming, don't you think I deserve to stay cool?

Of course I do, fuckers!

Now, on to other matters...who is the "Bad Wolf"? In about six hours, I hope to find out, as the final episode of the current series of "Dr. Who" airs tonight on the BBC. If you haven't bee watching it, shame on you, it's the best thing the BBC's done since "State of Play" and it is worthy of your valuable viewing time.

I was never a fan of the earlier Dr. Who series and I've not seen many of them, but you didn't need to, to follow this excellent series. The Beeb hired Russell T. Davies to script and produce it and he's done an amazing job. If they didn't broadcast it where you are, like in America, you could be naughty and download it (wink, wink) or spend your hard-earned cash on the DVD of the series, once it is released. Trust me, it's really fucking good!

I've also been digging this year's Big Brother, but then I am a self-confessed fan of the format. Endemol have done a fantastic job already, with their choice of 13 absolutely loathsome contestants. Beyond that, what's really floating my boat this year is the tone Big Brother has taken with the housemates.

Big Brother is being more playful this year and dare I say, perhaps a bit whimsical as well. I watch the highlights show every night on Ch4 and every scene is a winner. The argue, fight, snog, and bitch constantly. They really do seem to hate each other. It's entertainment at it's lowest common denominator, how can you not love it?

I was sorry to see Sam go last night, as she is now the 3rd women in a row to be evicted, leaving 3 women and 7 guys remaining. We need to start ditching some boys, folks!

Oh and in the immortal words of some texting moron: "SAM IS WEL FIT" and I look forward to her topless photos in one of the Sunday tabloids tomorrow. There, I said it. Ha, ha, ha, HA!

And check this shit out, fuckers, here THE LATEST NEWS ON CLAUSE 21 AND MY BELOVED MAGIC MUSHROOMS, courtesy of my favourite newspaper, the Guardian. The date they are going to implement this new cuntlaw continues to slip. Perhaps they will see sense soon and decide to scrap the whole thing! Now wouldn't that be groovy! Anyway, keep enjoying the fresh, legal shrooming while you can, I know I will....I just don't know when!

Perhaps this week would be smart, maybe even tomorrow....or Weds, Weds could be good too! We'll see.

And on that potentially promising note my dear hippyfans, I bid you all adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I need a spliff and I can't smoke one here because I'm too close to the air conditioner!
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