VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Sunday, July 03, 2005

So much for returning this week with a breathtaking post. So much for returning this week, until now. Sometimes fuckers, I’m the real fucker.

I really don’t know what to do. My motivation status gets lower and lower. As much as I wish to preserve this blog and my status as the northlondonhippy, I fear I’m fighting a losing battle. Ho hum.

Live8 fuckers! Did you watch it? According to the newspapers, 8 out of 10 people on the PLANET saw some of the concert coverage from somewhere. I saw lots of it myself, but sadly missed Green Day’s set in Berlin.

Most of what I saw was from London. The Who, Coldplay and U2 particularly stood out for me and Pink Floyd was a treat as well. I was never that much of a Floyd fan, but I was impressed with the quality of their set. It’s made me think I should have a copy of Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here.

But what about the goal of sorting out all the problems in Africa? Don’t you think a bunch of multi-millionaire musicians can fix everything? Of course they can! Since the concert ended, children in Africa aren’t starving any more, all the AIDS sufferers have been cured and there’s plenty of money for everyone!

Maybe not. Maybe Africa is too fucked to fix. Maybe if they discovered oil underneath Darfur in Sudan, we’d help end the evil civil war there.

Oh who really gives a rat’s ass about any of this. We’ve all got our own problems, why should we be worried about people we don’t even know? I’m sure you’ve got problems, lord knows I sure do.

I’ll tell you what, once my life is perfect, I’ll start worrying about everyone else.

My life will never be perfect. I’m so far away from perfect, I should send “perfect” a postcard. I’m not saying my life has turned to shit, but people keep handing me rolls of toilet paper. Ba-dum-bum.

But seriously folks, I gotta tell ya…

I’m at work tonight, which seems to be the only time I find to write anything here. I really should make some time at home. I really should get this blog back on track.

Did you ever wonder at what precise moment your life took a turn in the wrong direction? Do you think you can pinpoint the exact second when things in your life went south? And when did it get so far out of hand that you couldn’t recover and come back in the right direction?

I’ve been trying to work out the answer to that one here in my own miserable life myself. The truth is, for me, there was no “exact moment” but more of a gradual shift in the wrong direction. I can’t even be sure when this gradual shift began. I’d venture a guess: at the time of my birth.

Oh hippy, you are on a cuntfucker of a downer tonight. What’s your fucking problem?

How much time have you got?

Yep, I’m down, but not out. Not yet. The week is young!

I’ve had a bit of a turn-around at work, things have picked up dramatically this month and I’m now down to do lots of shifts. Money, money, money, who loves ya?

August is already looking good as well and I should at the very least equal or better my July totals. This hippy needs the dosh! Fuckers!

I’m tired, I’m bored, but I’m getting paid…one out of three ain’t so bad.

All things considered, I’d rather be on drugs. Lots of them.

I say that, but all I seem to do these days is get stoned. I haven’t shroomed in months and guess what? It looks like shrooming will come to a legal end in a couple of weeks. Here, let me provide you with a link from my favourite newspaper, the Guardian.

This time kids, it looks like the end is nigh. I’ll probably place one last order for some funny fungus, hopefully find some time to do them and then once that last batch is gone, bid a final farewell to my beloved shrooms.

Oh boo fucking hoo, illegal doesn’t mean unavailable, you know! There’s a big fuck-off market for shrooms in the UK, it won’t disappear, they will just be forced underground. I’m sure if someone is so inclined and properly motivated, it won’t be impossible to score them.

Speaking of scoring, my long term cannabis connection is shutting up shop very soon. That sucks the big, wet, hairy one! It means this hippy will be spliffless very soon. I’m not looking forward to it, but there you go. Perhaps you can help….

Do you have a fantastically reliable weed connection in north London? Does you connection stock only the finest, freshest and most potent skunkweed? If you’ve answered yes to those to questions, I want to hear from you! What I really want is an introduction to your excellent dealer.

I’m a great customer, regular, with cash in hand and a polite, yet pleasant attitude. I’m good for at least an ounce of fresh skunky bud or more every month. I’m the sort of customer your dealer would love to have on his books. You’d be doing me and your dealer an excellent favour!

Think I’m joking? Think again! When it comes to cannabis, this hippy never jokes, he’s always serious! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway fuckers, I should stop with the drivel spouting, too much of a good thing might drive you all insane. I won’t make silly promises I can’t keep about coming back and actually impressing you, we all know it would just be a lie! Catch ya next time!
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