VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Let’s have a big yipppeee for the hippy! I cracked 3,000 hits today on this blog.

Well, I’m pleased about it, but then I’m easily pleased. The truth is, 18 months along, 3,000 is shit, but I’ll take what I can get.

It’s not that this blog isn’t popular, it’s just so cool and underground, that only the hippest of the hip visit me. Do you know how fucking cool you must be, if you’re one of the vanguard of the internet elite that frequents this blog? It’s time you faced facts, fuckers, you are just too fucking cool!

I was offline at home from Sunday night until Tuesday morning. My ADSL modem blew up. Not literally, but it did stop working. It was a Hermstedt XBridge DSL modem, now it’s just a lump of plastic. Like everything in my life, dealing with it was less than simple.

In trying to troubleshoot my lack of a net connection, I discovered the diagnostic light was lit on my modem. The documentation says if you see this lit, to phone the manufacturer in Germany. So Monday morning, that’s just what I did.

I spoke to a nice guy in Deutschland who’s response to the lit diagnostic light was to say that it meant the internal circuitry was blown and the modem was dead. He didn’t hesitate in telling me this, as if it was what he tells everyone who phones.

A search on the net revealed that is probably true. It turns out they are not very reliable and have a nasty habit of going pop. I bought it from Apple, as it was the only one on their site, that they could recommend. I had to phone Apple next.

Why? Because I bought it from them, which means they have to send me the replacement.

I spoke to someone from the Apple sales team, who wanted an email from the manufacturer, confirming the status of my dead modem, before sending me a new one. The guy in Germany sent the email yesterday, Apple say the new modem won’t come until late next week. That’s what they call priority service.

Also, I have to send the faulty one back to Apple, but at least they will arrange to collect it from me. What a load of shite!

So what was I suppose to do about net access until next week? I’m a well known (???) blogger, my hippyfans depend upon me! I couldn’t wait till then, so I went out and bought a brand new ADSL modem/router!

I went for a Netgear, which came recommended as dependable, reliable and Mac compatible. The set-up wasn’t that simple, but I was up and running within about 10 minutes of starting.

Let’s face it, I didn’t want another one, just like the one that died. It was only 6 months old, I didn’t want to go through all this again! I’m going to get the replacement from Apple and sell it. EBAY here I come!

It will be brand new, in the box, with all the docs, disks and warranty. It shouldn’t be that difficult to shift. So it worked out ok for this hippy in the end. I’ve got a new, better modem, with additional Ethernet ports. I might look into VOIP telephone service. I might do anything, I’m one crazy hippy!

Back to user 3,000….s/he comes from Atlanta, Georgia, USA and visited my page at 12:45GMT today. They found the page through some blog search engine and no doubt had a life changing experience, by reading my words!

Sorry, I just can’t get that excited about 3,000 visitors. I know I should, but it’s like, big whoop and all. Who cares? Can you smell that? It’s the smell of rotting, decomposing, hippy blog.

I’ve toyed with hanging up my hippyhat before, maybe it’s time I faced the facts. Nobody loves me anymore. Here I am, living that hippy life, so you don’t have to, and no one cares. Is it because I’m not shroomtastic anymore? I’m still the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of and at this rate, probably never will. No one has offered me my own newspaper column or made me drug correspondent for the Guardian or anything diggable like that. I haven’t made so much as a red cent being the hippy.

Actually, it costs me money being the hippy. Do you have any idea what my drug bills are like? And how about all my new electronics, they didn’t come cheap either! But have I asked you for any money? Of course not! I’ve given you heaps of content for free!

I’ve given you my entire life, in cold, brutal, honest, no shying away from the truth, detail! I’ve given you short stories, and jokes aplenty! I even tried to give you my car! I’m one crazy, mad hippy, surely you do love me or at least, lust after me a little bit! I’m hung like a horse and more fun to ride!

Ok, I won’t give up being the hippy just yet. Not today anyway. But I can’t stay the hippy forever, can I?
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