VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

It’s Sunday morning, ridiculously early. It’s quite dark and grey, but that’s more to do with the weather than the hour.

I’ve been awake since quarter to six in the morning. Lucky me. I’ve been keeping odd hours this week, I don’t know why. Last night I was asleep by 11pm, so I did have 7 hours of semi-consciousness. I don’t feel too bad, I just had a nice strong cup of coffee.

Part of the reason I’ve been up early this week is down to my younger brother’s dog, who is staying with me at the moment. He’s about 15 years old, but you wouldn’t know it to look at him. He’s still a spry pup really. He needs to be let out or walked first thing in the morning, which means I need to be awake to do it.

He’s actually a great dog, friendly, well-behaved and great with cats. I’ve got four of those in the house right now too. Three of them are mine, the fourth is my brother’s. My brother’s dog and cat are best friends and they are getting on with my three fairly well too.

My devil-kitten and my brother’s cat have been playing together loads. It’s actually calmed the little diablo down a bit and made me think I should get another younger cat for her to play with.

What is this? Cuddly fucking animal hour?

Shouldn’t I be swearing unnecessarily and boasting of my drug intake? This is the northlondonhippy blog, dammit. Resume normal service! Resume normal service!

Ok, I was thinking this morning that I somehow have to figure out a way to translate my entire blog into Mandarin and make it all accessible in China.

Why? Because now or in the near future, Mandarin will be the most popular language on the internet. As I’m constantly seeking popularity, this seems like a logical move.

So how do I translate my entire blog into Mandarin and make it accessible in a country known for its repressive censorship?

I don’t know either, but I would surely like to find out!

So if you know how to accomplish this, you would be doing our friends in mainland China a huge favour! Don’t you think they would benefit from having a little hippy in their otherwise bleak and dreary existences? Of course they would! Just like you do!

You do, don’t know? Where would you be without the hippy? It doesn’t even bear thinking about!

Don’t worry, fuckers, I’m not going anywhere, except to China!

I’ve been checking out some new drugs, kids. Legal ones actually, because this hippy doesn’t like to break the law! Unless I need to, which is less and less as I get older. And balder and fatter.

I’m going to be ordering some of these new drugs in the very near future and test-driving them just for you! Remember, I’m living that hippy life, so you don’t have to!

Ok, down to the nitty-gritty. Since the UK government banned the sale of fresh (and safe) magic mushrooms, people are looking for legal alternatives.

Some people are probably still seeking illegal alternatives as well, including shrooms. The market was way too big to disappear overnight, so I’m sure they are available underground, if you have the right connections. For the record, I don’t, but then I haven’t even tried to find any since the ban anyway.

The drugs I’m talking about are called “smart drugs” and are usually a mix of herbs, extracts and other legal compounds, which approximate the effects of other substances. They’re sometimes referred to as “harm minimalisation solutions” which is wank speak for the ingredients aren’t illegal yet.

The first drug that caught my eye, called “PURPLE OHMS”, sound like they would work. Two of the major components are naturally occurring forms of LSA, which is very similar to LSD, which should make them trippy as fuck! I’ve seen them listed on other websites and they all say they are strong. This hippy needs to find out for himself!

P.E.P Pills are another one that’s recently popped up on some of my favourite headshop websites. The “Love” and “Twisted” ones both appeal to me, so I might give them a try. As they are on some very reputable sites, I think these are probably worthy of my time as well. They don’t list the ingredients, which is of some concern, but I’m sure they will be on the packaging. Always check what you are taking and make sure you don’t take anything that could cause you harm! You can’t do that with street drugs!

These two, DIONYSOS and DIVINE both sound interesting as well and are also sold on my favourite headshop site, EDIT. I can’t recommend EDIT enough, they are always a pleasure to shop with. If they sell it, it’s probably worth having! I’d like to give these two a try as well.

You know, it was on the EDIT forums that the northlondonhippy persona was born. But don’t blame them, it was all my doing!

The other ones that interest me are called NXT PHASE Herbal Highs, and they come in a variety. I’ve seen them around before and they are also Dutch. In the interests of fairness, I suppose I should give them a go as well!

The problem is that the bar is set quite high (no pun intended) when it comes to legal drugs. That’s only because my beloved shrooms were so damn effective and enjoyable!

Here’s the thing, not everyone is as switched-on as this hippy. Like I need to tell you that!

Instead of seeking out legal alternatives, as I’m doing, they are probably going for the easy options, like MDMA and cocaine, neither of which are particularly good for you. The real shame is that you don’t have a free choice in the matter. Well you do, but some choices carry more potential penalties than others.

Of course, you could choose the most evil drug of all, alcohol. It’s legal, easy to get and nasty! You want side effects, how does dizziness, sloppiness and a loss of inhibitions sound? Ever wake up next to someone you wouldn’t so much as look at sober? Blame booze!

Spliff should be legal, but then so should everything else. The government here in the UK has practically admitted the war on drugs is a total failure. THIS ARTICLE isn’t the one I was looking for, but it’s close enough.

Gosh, I’ve written a lot this morning, must be because of that strong cup of fresh coffee I drank! You see, some stimulants aren’t just tolerated, they are positively encouraged! Or don’t you get coffee breaks where you work?
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