VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Welcome to the wild, wacky and wonderful world of the northlondonhippy. Admission is free, but we hope you will spend some money in our gift shop before departing. Who wouldn’t look great in a northlondonhippy tee-shirt or cap?

It’s just the wrong side of noon, here in sunny north London. The temperature has dropped and I would classify it as “crisp”. It’s actually a good time of year for this hippy; I’m not really cut out for hot weather.

I’m listening to XFM via a cool Dashboard Widget on my iMac. I have the same widget on my iBook too and it works just the same. It grabs the webcast from my current favourite radio station and pipes it to the speakers. I’ll admit, it’s a cooler trick when done wirelessly with the iBook.

I’m digging my new computers very much. As the centrepieces of my all-new digital lifestyle, they are perfection personified. If you need a new computer, you deserve to at least see what Apple can do for you. It blows the competition out of the water!

But back to XFM, my fav station.

In my quest for international web stardom, I’ve gotten in touch with Christian O’Connell, who is the host of the XFM Breakfast show, Monday’s through Fridays. After work, I always have it on in the car on the drive home.

Rather than tell you about what I said, I’ll let you read the actual email I sent him on Friday morning!

“Hello Christian!

I'm a big fan of your XFM show!

I'm also the "biggest internet celebrity that you've never heard of"...but not for long.

I have a blog, which I've been writing for a while now and I think there's a chance I'm just the sort of nutter that would be fun for you to feature on the show occasionally.

Don't worry, I'm not looking for payment, just exposure. I think your listeners, who possess excellent taste, would dig what I do in a big way.

My blog focuses on current events, the media and drugs, specifically my own drug usage. I also swear unnecessarily quite a bit, but naturally I wouldn't do that on-air. I'm well behaved really, even if I'm rarely sober.

I work in the media myself, mainly overnights and I finish work while you're on-air, which means I could do a quick hit with you anytime in the 0800 hour, or earlier with some notice. I can talk about anything. I'm very well informed, amusing and never dull. I'm good value, really!

If you have a chance, "spend some time chilling out with the hippy" by visiting my blog. See if my borderline insanity is something you can work with and let me know if you're interested.

The address is:

I'm free anytime next week, should you decide to take me up on this amazing offer!

I'll be in my car and listening from 0720bst this morning - how about some Green Day? My fav at the mo' is "Holiday" from American Idiot!

Either way, thanks for taking the time to read this email and keep rockin'!

All the best,
the northlondonhippy!”

So that’s what I said to him. I haven’t heard back yet, but that’s ok as he was on-air when I contacted him.

They did play a Green Day song before I got home though. I heard it in the car as I drove. It was the title track of “American Idiot” and not “Holiday”, which is something I guess.

Anyway, I’ve been practising my special northlondonhippy raspy, creepy, radio voice and I’m ready to do it live now.

You didn’t think I would speak in my normal voice, did you? What’s the point of having a secret internet identity, if you don’t maintain it at all costs?

I told Mrs. Hippy about my plan and performed the hippyvoice for her, which made her piss herself with laughter. Yes, I’m ready for my debut! Fuckers!

And I promised no swearing on-air and I meant it. Just because I fucking use a lot of cuntingly unnecessary bad language here in the blog, doesn’t mean I can’t keep my shit together on the radio.

Remember, I’m a media whore, first and foremost. If I get the opportunity to be a guest on the radio, I don’t want it to be my one and only appearance. I want the hippy to turn into a regular feature.

Just wind me up and let me go! Especially with the hippyvoice, I find it quite liberating. Smoking as much as I do, I also don’t find it difficult to do and can keep it going for ages!

If I ever do a podcast, or a vlog thingy, this is the voice I would use. Of course, doing a vblog would mean some sort of hippy disguise and I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.

Keeping up with this blog is hard enough. Where do I think I am going to find the time to do all of these other fun and entertaining projects I dream about?

I know. What I need is a benefactor, someone to sponsor me in all my artistic and media pursuits.

Hey! Are you foolishly wealthy? Would you like to sub this hippy financially, for, oh I don’t know, say the next fifty years or so? I don’t want to be greedy, but how does £250,000 per year strike you? Cash naturally.

And what do you get in return? You mean besides the warm feeling inside of knowing you’ve made all MY northlondonhippy dreams come true? Ok, how about 50% of the profits of everything I do?

I know 50% of nothing ain’t much, but that’s bound to go up. Worldwide media domination can’ be far away. Think how much better your life will be when everyone treats me like a living god!

The hippy brand is on the rise! Look out fuckers!
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