VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Monday, September 26, 2005

Why, it was only yesterday that this hippy mentioned the desire to extend my reach into mainland China and what do you know? My favourite newspaper, the Guardian, has this as it’s lead international item today.

The Chinese need this hippy more now, than ever! If they are cracking down on their domestic dissidents like this, surely a certain north London-based hippy should be given a free hand to free their minds!

So I’ll ask again, do any of my beloved and loyal hippyfans know how I can translate my entire archive into Mandarin and make it available to all those potential Chinese hippyfans in waiting? They need to read what I’ve got to say!

People of China! Welcome to the wild, wacky and wonderful, northlondonhippy blog! Well done you, especially, for finding the most happening source of independent thought on the internet! You posses keen critical skills and certainly can spot something good when you see it! This is the intelligensia underground!

First of all, thank you for all the inexpensive goods you produce. If it wasn’t for your low hourly wages and willingness to work 18 hours a day from the age of 8, I wouldn’t have all these great electronics and sporty trainers.

Also, thank you so much for Peking Duck, or should I say Beijing Duck. It’s one of my favourite foods.

Also thank you for gunpowder and pasta, especially the gunpowder as we couldn’t have so many profitable wars without it!

With all that out of the way, I can now move onto more important matters. Your government doesn’t know dick. Don’t worry, neither does anyone else’s, so you are not alone.

Your leaders aren’t changing with the times quickly enough. Sure they have Hong Kong, Shenzen and now Shanghai, but what about the rest of you, with your near feudal economies?

And what’s with the killing of baby girls? Who are all these male children going to marry when they grow up? There was a documentary on tv recently that dealt with this issue and it said statistically all you Chinese boys have little or no chance of finding a mate.

This might help you. I see adverts in the back of magazines all the time which say Thai women make wonderful brides. It’s a thought! Tell them to pack their ping pong balls, they play it a bit differently from the way the Chinese do!

And what about Taiwan? There sure is a lot of tough talk and threats, but how about finding a peaceful solution so both “countries” (see, China, I showed you some respect with the quotation marks!) can co-exist in harmony.

It’s time for both sides to put their pride aside and deal with this like mature, intelligent grown-ups. A little loss of face from both of you and things could be groovy. And just think of the expanded trade opportunities! Money, money, MONEY!

If this entry doesn’t get me banned in China, than I don’t know what will? Just to make sure, here are a couple of words that will never get past the official government firewalls!

Falun Gong. AKA Falun Dafa.

Those of you outside of China, please put those terms into Google and see what I’m talking about. If you’re in China already and really did get to this page, you’ll know what it is already!

So yeah, fuckers! I need to be let loose in China. Give me the chance and I could change the world, for the better!

Now for some drug news, also from the Guardian, my favourite lefty-liberal newpaper. Twenty-five soldiers are about to be dismissed by the military for testing positive for illegal drugs.

Here’s what one of the commanding officers said about the men involved: "They were good soldiers who had served with distinction. But our line is zero tolerance. One puff is enough to produce a positive result." Good soldiers, serving with distinction, but one puff is enough to destroy their careers.

Does anyone else see the inherent stupidity in this or is it just me?

The military is very stretched at the moment, at home and abroad. Recruitment must be down, since everyone knows if they join, they’ll get sent to a warzone, so can we really afford to let anyone go right now, especially because they had a smoke, or a pill or a little toot? It beggars fucking belief.

I’m sorry, guys, but you didn’t deserve this. You were willing to put your lives on the line for queen and country and this is how they thank you. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of work to be had in private security, especially if you’re willing to go to Iraq. I doubt they’ll care what’s in your pee-pee then!

I rarely find other blogs that catch my attention, but I saw a link to THIS ONE in a Sunday newspaper yesterday that I thought was interesting reading.

It’s written by serving policeman and he shares his frustrations about the job. I actually have a lot of respect for cops and the work they do. That may surprise you, but it shouldn’t.

My issues are with some of the laws regarding drugs that they have to enforce. I’ve spoken to cops who actually agree with me, regarding the need to change our drugs policies. I expect most agree that it is a pointless exercise in futility, but can’t share those views publicly.

Some policemen have spoken these truths and have had attacks against them both professionally and personally. Stick “Brian Paddick” into Google if you wish to read about a London cop with progressive views who suffered slings and arrows as a result of them!

I hope this particular "copper" doesn't mind a hippy endorsement. I agree with a lot of what he says and I would hope he would agree with some of my philosophy as well. If it was up to me, his job would be a lot easier and he could concetrate on the real criminals, out there committing genuine crimes!

I dream of a day when drug laws make sense and decent, hard working hippies like myself can stroll purposefully to my nearest cannabis café, order something strong and skunky, plus a cappuccino, then sit down, skin-up and enjoy!

It works well in Holland, it could work well here! Please!

A hippy can dream. And where would we be without our dreams?

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