VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Would your life be perfect if you had a Gmail? Well, perfection is just one click away! Yes, click right here! Right here! RIGHT HERE, DAMMIT!

Hey ho.

I’m a wireless hippy today, perched rather comfortably on my sofa with the iBook nestled in my lap with a juicy skunky spliff smouldering in the ashtray. Ah, the joys of technology and soft drugs!

It’s the middle of the afternoon, here in sunny north London, or as we say here in the ghetto, “it’s crack o’clock”. If you need some rock, the shops are all open. And by shops, of course I mean those of the street corner variety. Party tyme!

The entire country has suddenly become enamoured with cricket thanks to the Ashes. I find it all pretty dull and would rather watch anything else. I painted a wall today, just to watch it dry.

And the English football team managed to live up to its reputation last night, perhaps they even managed to exceed it. They lost to a crap team, it should have been an easy victory. Oooops.

I don’t even like sport, but this is what life is like. You can’t avoid it, but you can be prepared for eventual disappointment. English teams are good at providing that, if nothing else.

I hope I’m wrong about the Ashes, go team, blah blah blah, but if you listen to the hippy, you will avoid a broken heart.

Enough of this sports talk, or else this blog will turn into some sort of shitty radio talk show and I’ll have to open up the phone lines to hear what YOU have to say!

Here’s why I do what I do:

“Once again, another excellent article from the webs best hippy. Whenever my day comes to a lull, the first thing I do is tune into the hippy. You get laughs, quality verse, and informative rhetoric. Being a non-drug taking hippy - although I have tasted the delights of natual shrooms - I do enjoy the education on drugs, especially. Keep it up northlondonhippy!”

That is an actual comment, from an actual hippyfan that was left on yesterday’s entry. Obviously, this person has a keen critical eye and excellent taste. Who is their right mind wouldn’t worship me like the living GOD I truly am?

Ah-hem.

Ya see, this is why “I’m living that hippy life, so you don’t have to”. Remember, “I’m blogging my life away, every night and every day, just for Y-O-U!” If I can bring some joy and happiness to your otherwise bleak and dreary lives, then I feel I’ve done what I set out to do in this blog!

I may remain “the biggest internet celebrity that you’ve never heard of…” but not for long! 2005 is still the year of the hippy, it’s just no one told the year yet! World domination by me is just a couple of clicks away!

I wish more hippyfans would write me more often and leave comments, which only serve to stroke my hippy ego. Don’t be afraid, I’m very approachable and I don’t bite, but I might lick a little.

Emails are also acceptable, as are gifts of cash, drugs or meaningless sexual favours. Especially meaningless sexual favours! I need some hot, young female groupies to service me, over and over again. Don’t worry, Mrs. H is cool with all this, she is still recovering from her recent surgery and only wants what’s best for me.

What would be best for me right now is a hippy sandwich, served on two slices of 16 year old slutty sex kitten-bread. With a side order of mixed metaphors.

Sorry, it must be the weather, but my cock’s harder than Charles Bronson in Deathwish, but a lot less lethal. I’m hung like a horse, but a whole lot more fun to ride! Giddyap motherfuckers!

I think I need to take some of my special brain medicine. Could you score some for me please?
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