VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Blessed are the hippies, for the hippies shall inherit the earth.

Though if you read your newspapers today, you might have seen that THIS particular hippy has actually already inherited the entire planet.
Maybe you missed it, but god died and he left it all to me. I’m your new lord and master.

Worship at my feet as you recite the northlondonhippy prayer:

“Oh northlondonhippy
with your big cock…
and bigger ego…
Grant us the strength to score good drugs…
And the ability to find meaningless sexual encounters…
With really hot people.
Amen.”

Dig it, fuckers! There’s a new boss in town! Screw the ten commandments! As far as I’m concerned, don’t steal and don’t kill, the rest is wide open!

I can kill, if I want to and maybe I will. Death to all the stupid people! Naturally, that excludes you, since you’re clever enough to read this blog!

Let’s face it; you were down with the hippy before I took over from god, so you’re safe from my wrath! But you newly converted hippyfans, well, that’s a different story! If you don’t start making with the weed and free oral sex and quick, I will fucking smite you!

All of my enemies will be smited! Once I look up what “smite” means on dictionary.com, I’m really gonna do it! Look out evil-doers wherever you are!

I’ve got a lot on my agenda already. For starters, I’m going to sort out the weather. No more hurricanes, typhoons or cyclones. I’ve banned them all.

Also, I’ve had enough of the quakes and tsunamis, they’re banned too!

And while I’m at it, war is banned. Except for George W (for waste of a human existence) Bush, who I’m making the only member of the US Military. He can have a side-arm and a hat, and then I’m shipping him off to Fallujah to fight Iraqis on his own. It’s the right thing to do.

Naturally, all drugs will be legal and for some people, compulsory. Nothing will cause cancer because I’m cancelling cancer. Even cigarettes will be good for you and chock full of vitamins.

I’ll make sure there’s plenty of food and clean water for every living thing. You won’t need medicines any more, because we’ll all be blessed with perfect physical and mental health. Even me, especially on the mental health side!

And every Friday night, I’ll have my own global tv show: The northlondonhippy smile hour! You’ll all have to watch, because it will be on every goddamn channel!

Oh fuckers, I know it’s all just a dream, but with your help, this dream can come true. Simply put as much cash as you can afford (US dollars, GB pounds or Euros only please, no cheques!) into an envelope and send it to:

the northlondonhippy
north London, UK
planet earth

I’m sure the postal service can find me. I’m the only northlondonhippy in the book!

Hallelujah hippy!
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.See http://TheFuturum.com - you can send message to eternity there.
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