VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

First, I want to thank the helpful hippyfan who left a comment on the blog with some dope buying advice for me. Specifically he told me to go look for some rasta guy in Kennington Park between 10am and noon. I can’t say I’m going to actually do this , but I appreciate this person took the time to leave me the information.

The truth is, if I get that desperate; I can head off to Camden or Brixton, where street dealers are tripping over each other in search of your trade. If you want a ten-pound deal, it’s a reasonable option. These days, according to reports from friends, it’s rare to get ripped off.

My problem is a ten-pound deal wouldn’t last a voracious dopehead like myself for more than ten minutes and then what? I’m back out there on the street, scoring more, like some god-awful crackhead! I know I can do better.

The sort of connection I’m seeking is the kind you can visit and do the deal in-doors. I’m not really into buying drugs on the street. I prefer to have a bit of privacy and security. I also prefer to buy from someone trustworthy and consistent.

Like I said earlier, a good weed dealer is not easy to find. I’m patient. I’ll do what I need to do to keep myself in spliff. I’ve got a couple decades plus of practise!

My dream would be to get referred to a happening delivery service. I know they exist, I just don’t know anyone who’s currently on their books. That’s the thing, you need to be referenced before they’ll even think about letting you become a customer.

So if you’re reading this and you know about one of these fine, high-end, delivery services, you could do a very good deed and hook up this well-known, respected and loved internet hippy with them.

Sorry, I’m getting distracted. I’m listening to music via iTunes and a pair of wireless headphones and I’ve got it set to “random”. Holiday by Green Day just came on and I dig it!

Hard-Fi now, Hard to Beat – wicked album! It’s fucking groovy! Just buy it! It's worth your hard earned cash!

But that’s not getting me any dope either! Maybe you have a friend of a friend, who’s a proper dealer. You know, they’re always home, waiting for your call to score anything from a henry to a kylie!

Do you know the difference between a henry and a kylie? Cool, then you’re the hippyfan who can probably help me! I need to meet your dealer!

I’m a great customer. I’m low-key, discreet and regular. I’m good for at least a kylie a month, usually in one go. Sometimes, even two a month, if I’m feeling particularly in need!

Anyway, you know the score, this hippy needs to! If you can help, I’ll be your best-est friend! I’m come to your house, get you stoned, tell jokes and maybe even touch-up your sister or your mum, depending on which one is fitter (and closer to my advanced age!)

Whatever it takes, this hippy needs his weed! I’ve got a new bong to feed! As well as a serious weed addiction!

Anyway, enough of that. Let’s talk about how much you all lust after me.

Ok, maybe not. But you should humour me anyway. Lord knows I’ve earned it!
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