VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

The one true genius of the 21st century is now open for business.

I mean me, of course.

Why am I the one true genius of the 21st century?

Simple, because I know that I don’t know everything and I never will. That makes me smarter than your parents; I bet they’re real know-it-alls! They don’t know dick!

Neither do I, but I’m honest about it. So take that, fuckers!

I’m just filling time, in my night, on this blog and in my life. My life remains in a holding pattern, I’m still circling the airport and when I’ll touchdown is anyone’s guess.

Remember I went on and on that 2005 was the year of the hippy? I lied, but I’m coming clean now.

I really thought 2005 was going to be my year. All the signs were there, it was looking good. So where did I go wrong?

If I had the answer to that one, my fine feathered fuckers, I’d be in a position not to repeat my mistakes. We’re all doomed to repeating our mistakes eternally!

But this hippy’s persistent and it takes more than a bad year (decade? lifetime??) to discourage me! That’s why I decided this blog will live on! I’m still formulating a big re-launch though and as soon as I know what form that will take, I’ll let all my hippyfans know!

The podcast idea didn’t really work out, but hey, maybe I should give it another try. Half my problem was I recorded it with a PC's shitty internal microphone, which did my novelty hippy-voice no favours. Perhaps I’ll try again with my better kit.

But will that make a difference? Fuck knows. Maybe I’m just rubbish?

Bullfuckingshit! I’m anything but rubbish! I’m a future god to all!

If only! I should be your god (not that old shit again), because I’d be a great god! I already know what you’re thinking….that hippycock is very suckable!

In your dreams!

I’ve logged in and blogged on with no set agenda. This is just me saying, “hey fuckers, I’m still alive!” Wanna feel my pulse?

I’m still hoping for a breakthrough this year and I’ve got a couple of things planned that might actually take off.

The problem with being a media whore like myself is greed. I’m paid well when I work, I’m paid diddly when I don’t. I need to work less, so I can work more, on the projects that matter to me. Earn less now for a bigger payday at some point in the future!

Isn't that kind of how christianity works? Live the honourable life now for rewards in the afterlife? I hope I don't have to wait until I'm gone to be confirmed as the one true genius of the 21st century. That would suck!

I’m actually, really, truly working on scripts for a tv series. Shhhhhh, don’t tell anyone. I know it’s a winner, but I need to convince someone with some serious cash to fund it. The only way that’s going to happen is if I get the scripts to a point where I can show them to people.

But mark my words, if someone does fund this one, I can promise you, you will hear about it. It will be popular and more importantly, it will make me lots of money. You’ll buy the DVD box set, won’t you?

I’m going to be 43 cunting years old this month. My birthday’s soon and I’m dreading it. Aside from the fact that it’s the last year of my “early forties”, it’s just another reminder of little I’ve actually accomplished with my life.

That’s not totally fair, for if you met me, you’d think I was somewhat happening. Just not enough for me to feel good about myself.

What am I talking about, I never feel good about myself, unless I’m unconscious or something equally fun. You have no concept of the depths of my personal self-loathing. You’d need sonar to hit that particular rock bottom!

What can I say? I’m a dreamer whose dreams refuse to die! Sure, my dreams may have a spluttering cough, but it’s not a death rattle, there’s still plenty of life left in them!

My problems have always been simple. I’ve got a decided lack of fortitude; I rarely stick to anything. And when I do, another of my shortcomings comes into play, namely my giant fear of rejection.

That’s a shitty combo, especially if you want to write books and screenplays and make films! There’s always someone who will work harder and longer for less money!

But like I said, my dreams are alive. Over the years I’ve honed my skills as a dramatist and author. I’m shit hot really, I just need the rest of world to dig what I do and that means putting something out there!

I’ve taken some baby-steps in that direction recently, but nothing significant. That’s going to change very soon; I’m setting my sights high and my phasers on fry. I’m taking no fucking prisoners!

I didn’t expect to come online and give myself a peptalk, but that’s what this is turning into. My bullshit’s so convincing, I’m even buying it myself!

Whether something good happens for me or not this year, I can promise you this: In less than 50 years, I’ll be dust. Somehow, knowing that makes success or failure matter that much less.

I never said I was sane, just like I never promised you a rose garden!

I beg your pardon?
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