VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Monday, May 31, 2004

Just another lazy hippy Monday, bank holiday Monday actually. Bank holidays don't really matter to me, especially now that I am freelance, but I bet you have the day off, you wage slave.

I made up some more of my special brain medicine today, I got lots to see me through the summer. The truth is that I don't have as many opportunities to shroom at the moment, due to my heavy work schedule. That's OK, as the SBM should keep for a few months at least.

I'm thinking I need to move into something stronger, perhaps Copelandia Cyanenscens, which are a different type of shroom. They're known as blue meanies, or gold caps and are suppose to be the strongest ones going. Dosages are much lower compared to p.cubes, which should mean I can make my caps stronger and need to take less of them. That would be good.

They are more expensive than more p.cubes and a bit harder to find, but it sounds like they are worth it. There are also a couple of companies in the UK selling grow kits, so that also might be an option. I need to find some reliable info on dosages so I know what I am doing as well. Soon, you mad crazy hippy, soon you will have some!

I'm really digging Big Brother already. I knew this year's group would be bad, but they have all exceeded even my expectations. Trust me, watch it or miss out on the best BB yet.

I'm feeling very chilled out today, which is a good thing since I am working for 3 nights in a row, starting on Tuesday night. This will be my heaviest month so far, and I am hoping July and August are even busier. The more I do now, the less I will need in the coming months, once everyone has had their summer holidays and there won't be as many shifts going. £££££££££££££££££££££ pretty much sums up my whorish attitude to work right now, gimme gimme gimme, mine, mine, mine!

I don't really know why I sat down to blog today, truth is I don't have that much to say. Life is all right at the moment. Except for my dying father of course.

My younger brother spoke to him about 10 days ago and we've heard nothing since. I even checked the obits in his local paper, just in case. It wouldn't surprise me if no one called to let us know he was gone. Modern family life sucks.

Anyway, I'm going to find something more interesting to do now, not just for my sake, but for yours too. Catch ya later masturbater!

Sunday, May 30, 2004

Hey, its 2am on Saturday night into Sunday morning. I'm blogging from work, because I've got a little down time. Not much to report, though there are better places to be at this time of the morning....mainly my bed and no you can't join me!

I've still got 5 hours to go before I can go stand on a cold, tube platform and wait for a train. It's not going as fast as I would like it to, but at least I am off until Tuesday night.

How dull! All I talk about these days is my budding work schedule. I bet this blog was more fun to read when I was broke, unemployed and desperate for work. It seems like I am fairly established here now and at the other place, so the monthly money can only go up, up, up...!

Anyway, the only real news I've got is that I have turned on the comments section of my blog. That means anyone can add their thoughts to what I write. Perhaps I will regret this.

The truth is that I will be shocked if anyone comments on my blog. No one reads it, even my family can't be bothered to keep up with my ongoing exploits. It's all well and good me living the hippy life so you don't have to...but if no one knows I'm doing it, well, maybe there's no point.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it actually make a sound? If I write reams in my blog and no one reads it, does it actually make any impact? I doubt it.

Besides, if any of you fuckers says I anything I don't like, I can delete your comments. Go on, call me a cunt, you won't be the first or last and I'll kill it anyway!

You won't really call me names, will you? I'm sure the comments I will receive will be life-affirming and will only make me feel better about myself, as a hippy and a person.

That's about it from me, didn't want to spend too much time writing this in case anyone notices. God forbid people discover my secret identity as the northlondonhippy!

Anyway, I await your comments!

Friday, May 28, 2004

Ok, so yesterday's little drug-fest probably did not make for the most coherent post, but hey, sometimes that's just the way it goes. Living that hippy-lifestyle so you don't have to is what I'm all about. Perhaps it will increase my brand awareness...soon you will be able to order northlondonhippy tee-shirts and rolling papers...

That's a lie, at the moment this is non-profit endeavor. I've got nothing for sale.

Anyway, I'm back on planet earth today and the keyboard and I are back to being friends.

Big Brother starts tonight here in the UK, it's the fifth series. I've watched them all, I'm a big fan of the format. It's perfect for a tv addict like me.

I have been predicting this since the end of last year's show; this year's will be very worthy of your valuable viewing time.

Here's why: Last year, BB4 was pretty dull, or rather the people they chose were pretty dull. Last year's theme was "back to basics" and it was boring. This year, the pendulum will swing in the other direction, expect the house to chock full of screaming, howling, mad people. Imagine Jade times 12.

The housemates this year will be chosen for being over-the-top and being willing to fuck. They are desperate for some proper sex in the UK house, gagging for it. The producers will do all they can to make sure it happens this year. The easiest way to do that would be to pick the easiest, sluttiest people.

Also, BB's theme this year is "evil", which also sounds promising. I hope I'm right.

Working overnights is conducive to watching lots of BB, especially when you can watch it at work as well. I can't wait.

The last episode of Friends is shown tonight in the UK, finally. It's a bit of an anticlimax since everyone knows how it ends. When it was broadcast in the states, the hype over here was huge. It's not the same here at all.

And it's not like it won't be repeated, forever and ever, on every channel, in every country around the world! They all say goodbye tonight, tomorrow they are all back in Central Perk, admittedly looking much younger. They'll always be your Friends.

I've got my first heavy week of work starting from Saturday. I'm working 6 out of the next 8 nights. As long as I get plenty of sleep, it will be just fine. But if I'm not dropping by here as much as I would like to, at least you'll know why.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

I shouldn't be here right now, typing this. As I write, I am seriously shroomed to my eye balls. I took about 50grams of fresh mexican p.cubes and I am fucked. All in a good way, of course. I should leave the mistakes, you have no idea how hard it is to get words out of this keyboard.

I should be doing a million other things, but its Thursday afternoon and I took a lot of my special brain medicine. Fuck, its taken me 3 minutes just to type that much.

Seriously. the room is doing stuff and I like it this way. I wish the secret psychedelic world you can only see when you eat a serious shitload of shrooms could come out to play all the time. Say that last sentence outloud for the full effect. Sometimes, English needs to be spoken, rather than read.

Actually, maybe this is a good time to be here, since I am feeling really clever and full of myself. Hey, come here, lemme bore you too.

I really shouldn't be trying to write anything sensible right now. No court in the world could hold up my testimony, I am well and truly fucked. In a nice way, of course.

Screw getting pissed, this is much more fun!

Before I forget, fuck I am having real trouble getting anything to do what I want, now christ, fuck, fuck

Check out Faithless's Mass Destruction. Maxium respect to them for a really good song. Rollo is Dido's brother, did you know that? Watch, this groove will now be used in every tv promo now.

Also the new video from Evane....fuck I can't even spell today
Evanescence's latest song and video Everybody's Fool is excellent as well. Great song, lots of money behind the video as well. Does it really take a grammy for anyone in the record industry to just let Amy whateverhername is just get on with it?

Christ on the fucking cross if this is hard work right now. But oh the pretty colours.

Also, while I am fighting a losing battle with this keyboard, check out Kelis's new one, Trick Me. Kicking song, but the video could have been better. Kelis is hot, but so what, so are lots of other girls. There's no gimmick, we need a gimmick. Her Milkshake video had a concept. The colour orange is not a concept. Please try harder, better yet, ask me to do it. I've always wanted to direct a music video, with a proper budget. Gimme someone else's money and I could do all sorts of things.

There are so many other more important things I could be doing right now, but why? Why not just smoke 'em if you got 'em, take everything now cause there is no point to any of this. Oh please won't someone just put a slug through my skull and put an end to all this nonsense. Sorry, that last sentence has me laughing the sort of manic laughter you can only really understand if you took the sort of drugs I do and viewed the world with the sort of evil existential it really is just a load of crap just pass the lobster and the 16 year old girls. God, I really am gone right now.

Instead I'm thinking about rampant sex and drug orgries, all sorts of hedonistic exploits, pleasures of the body and the mind. I've forgotten what it means to be a proper hedonist, perhaps its time redefined it.

My younger brother thinks my dad only has a few days left to live. My gut says this could be true, but I've had him dead since Christmas. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of weeks now, I think part of the reason I haven't telephoned since is that the last thing I said to him was that I loved him> I think he knows that, as much as you can. I wish I could be there, I wish I could be holding his hand as he let go his last breaths, but I can't. I've failed him and my mother. There's nothing I can do.

That doesn't make it any easier. No one says losing a parent is easy. Big deal, right. But he's still my dad. God, why am I going here now? Think fun things....

I'm shroomed off my face and I can't even pick up the telephone and call my dying father. I think that last call, really was the last call. There's so much I could say, would say, but there's no point. YOu live and you die and so fucking what.

Pass me the fiddle and set it all on fire, I'm ready to party like its nineteen-ninety-nine.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Hippy here, hippy there, hippy HIPPY everywhere...!

Hey losers! How's every little thing with you? No, really, tell me.

It's Weds morning here in north London, I was up all night again. No, not clubbing or partying with Britney, but working and not that hard. I was called in on short notice to work at one of my jobs. I can't say "new" any more since I've been at both over a month now.

It was really easy last night, I've done three solo shifts now and they were all that way. It pays well too, I think I'm in love...

The other job, with longer hours and lower pay, is looking less and less attractive. If I can get more of the first one, I would be happy to do less of the second. I'm just a whore at heart and I am digging the money.

Not that I have seen any yet. I submitted my first invoices this week, so if I am lucky, I'll see some dosh in four weeks or so.

I'm rambling, sorry. The real price of staying up all night is a fried brain, over easy, with bacon and brown toast. I'm not even hungry, so what's up with the food metaphors? I don't even eat eggs, ever.

I am really feeling a deep desperate need to shroom. That will surprise no one. Has anyone actually noticed how I use "shroom" as a verb? I bet it's not even in the dictionary. I'll check.

I stand corrected, you can find a definition of it in the Urban Dictionary right here under shroom.

I'm in the mood for a seriously big, fuck off dose of my special brain medicine, I was planning a sneaky trip today, but working last night has buggered that up. Saturday was going to be possible, but I am on standby to work again. That leaves Friday night, so it will have to be then.

I prefer daylight trips, as sunlight enhances the visuals, but a night time trip could be fun too. The life of a drug addict is actually quite complex and time consuming you know.

There's the time you spend looking for drugs, finding drugs, picking-up drugs, planning to take the drugs, co-ordinating with your mates to share them, preparing to take them, then of course taking them and enjoying them. Some drugs can give you a nasty hangover, ever burst into tears for no reason two days after taking an "E"? Yeah, me too, but not with shrooms. The come-down is easy and there's never a hangover. Shrooms rule!

I am really running out of steam and I still need to make a few telephone calls before I can put my head down for a few hours. Trust me, come payday, it will all be worth it!

Until next time, I remain your friendly neighbourhood northlondonhippy. That is, if your neighbourhood is north London and I don't hate you already. Then I might not be so friendly.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Are you a loser?

That's the question I'm going to try to answer today. Don't worry, if you are slightly psychotic, I don't literally mean *you*. I have not tapped your telephone, I'm not watching your every move. I'm just trying to prove a point today.

That point is simple; with the exception of a very select few, we are all losers.

There are around 6.5 billion people on the planet right now (Source: World Population Clock) and growing.

For starters, if you don't live in western Europe, north America or in a major city anywhere else, your quality of life is probably not that good. We can automatically label this very large group of people as "losers" right from the start. Let's face it, if you don't have access to clean drinking water, sanitation and sewage disposal or regular meals, that would make you a loser, wouldn't it?

The same could be said for the homeless, they wouldn't have easy access to water, waste disposal or regular meals, would they? Certainly we think of them as losers, as we pass them on the street, maybe giving them some spare change, maybe not.

In my case, not. I find it all too uncomfortable because of all my liberal, hippy guilt to actually think that tossing some spare change at someone will make a difference. It doesn't, unless you think being 50p closer to a tin of Export makes a difference.

So if society's outcasts and third-world residents are losers, what about the rest of us? We have jobs, homes, we eat regularly, drive our own cars, run up credit card debts to pay for plasma tv's and even holidays. Surely we can't be losers!

Ah, but we are losers even though we have attained a small modicum of material wealth. It's simple, really, in the "developed world" we are all allowed to have a certain level of basic necessities plus some luxuries, but that's it. The standard of your living may be good in comparison to the third world, but it does not compare to the really wealthy.

I saw a feature on television this week on the world's largest yacht, built here in the UK. The hire cost is a mere £100,000 per week. Can you afford that? Can I? Well, who then?

According to Forbes magazine, there are around 470 people in the world with assets over a billion dollars each. Out of 6.5 billion people, that's precious few. You can see for your self here..

Are you one of those 470 people? If you are, why are you wasting your time reading my blog? More importantly, if you're really one of them, would you like to give me some money? It's not like you'd miss it!

These are life's real winners, at least in terms of how we measure success. If you are not one of them, then you are a loser. You might drive a Mercedes, live in a nice suburban detached house, eat steak and lobster every night, but you are still loser. Do the math.

You'll notice I used billionaires for this little example, because being a millionaire is not that big a deal anymore. I've just done a quick search on Google and there are so many that no one is even trying to count them anymore.

A million dollars (or pounds, or euros) is nothing. It wouldn't actually change your life that dramatically. You won't get a giant country estate with it, you won't have hot and cold running servants, you won't score that elusive BJ from Britney.

Don't get me wrong, if I hit the lottery for a cool million, I would certainly be happy, but I appreciate that the changes to my life would be subtle.

I could stick all the money in the bank and collect about £50,000 a year in interest, which means Mrs. Hippy and I would not have to work as hard. We'd still have our mortgage payments, as this scenario does not allow for us to pay it off in one go. It's not even that big of a mortgage by today's standards.

Like most things, success is all about perspectives. "I felt bad because I had no shoes, then I saw a man with no feet." I forget where that's from, but it means there is always someone worse off than you. The reverse is probably true as well, unless you are Bill Gates, that there is always going to be someone doing better than you as well.

So are you a loser? Here, take my simple hippy "yes or no" ten-question quiz:

1) Do you always sit in the front of the plane when you fly? Yes / No

2) Do you avoid the perils of public transport? Yes / No

3) When you need to go someplace locally, are you driven by someone else? Yes / No

4) Are your meals prepared for you by someone else, all the time? Yes / No

5) Paying your monthly bills is never a problem? Yes / No

6) Have you had any sort of cosmetic surgery or procedure? Yes / No

7) You can't hear any noise from your neighbours? Yes / No

8) You've never served in the military? Yes / No

9) You don't bother with tests like this? Yes / No

10) You've had a blow-job from Britney? Yes / No

If you've said "no" to any of the above questions, you are most certainly a loser. Don't worry, I'm one too. Almost everyone in the world is....

Saturday, May 22, 2004

When I sit down to make a blog entry, it is always with the best intentions. I never expect to write anything amazing, but I do try to say "something". I know I don't always succeed.

I've spent the last two nights working, it went well. Actually, I've found it pretty easy, though I'm still climbing the learning curve. At least it's not as steep as it was a couple of weeks ago.

I can do both of my new jobs now, without too much hassle. It actually didn't take that long. Now all I have to do is get paid. Because I'm my own boss, I have to invoice for my money; services rendered and all that.

And it is official now, I am self-employed. The government has set up a brand new help line to assist budding entrepreneurs like myself to get started. I've even been contacted by the "North London Business Support Team", which is part of this new govt' initiative. I'm not sure what they do exactly, but the guy told me I wouldn't have to make any tax payments for 18 MONTHS. How about a double yippeeeee for that! Yipppeeee yipppeee!

I'll still have to set aside some dosh every month for taxes, but it can sit in my account gaining interest until then. I'm down with that. I wonder if I upgraded my blog to the premium blogspot paid service, if I could deduct it from my gross income. I bet I can! I'm going to deduct everything...

I wonder if I can include my spliff and shrooms? By all rights I should, since they are total necessities; I couldn't be the northlondonhippy without them.

You see, I've done it again. I actually had a different topic for today, but my window of opportunity has now passed.

Catch ya later, catch ya tomorrow, catch you soon....!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Good morning world! If you are one of the thousands, ummm, I mean handful of people who read my blog, welcome and enjoy your stay!

I worked last night, 14 long yet pleasant hours. If you recall, I recently started doing some freelance work at two different companies, last night was at one of them, tonight and Friday night I'm at the other.

I'm starting to settle in there, at the one I was working at last night. I'm grooving with the vibe there, I think I have the job down 95% of the way. Go me! I like it there, so far, or as I said to one of my colleagues, "I don't hate it yet." That's high praise for an employer in my industry.

Although it is my preferred place to work, the hours are longer and the pay is lower than the other place. Also the people are friendlier, which I'm finding actually makes a bigger difference than I would have expected.

I haven't written about it here, but my last visit to the other employers a couple of weeks ago, was not a pleasant one. I'm not dreading the return performance tonight, but I am not looking forward to it either. If they didn't pay so well, I would be tempted to knock it on the head...but I'm a greedy fucker who hasn't seen a proper paycheck in quite a while, so I will keep it up as long as I can.

I was going to write a lot more than this, but I'm rapidly running out of steam. Two more nights, then I can kick back, relax and shroom my head off this weekend!

Monday, May 17, 2004

Sorry I haven't been by in the last few days, I haven't been feeling myself. I'll spare you the gory details. I've had a few minor medical problems, which have made me feel quite run down and listless. I think it is all starting to pass and I am on the mend. I hope so anyway.

I took some of my special brain medicine on Saturday, my first sample of a big batch I made the week before. They came out pretty good if I say so myself.

I exercise a bit of quality control and try to insure that each cap has the same amount in them. I also weigh up each dose, subtracting the capsule weight so I know the net amount of shrooms I am taking. I'm responsible, careful and very grown-up about it. So na na na on your face, fucker!

I swallowed 16 capsules on an empty stomach with some juice mixed with Sprite. I know it's a lot of pills to take and I have tried to stuff them with more, but the size I have found only seem to manage about .3grams. That means sixteen of them equal about 4.8grams. They say 10% of a fresh weight is what you should take dry. Having had 48grams fresh, I can tell you that 4.8grams dry is not as strong, but I am always cautious the first time I try a new batch. The effects of this dose were about as expected.

I had some visuals, music sounded much better, but mainly it really screwed with my thoughts. In a good way.

There's talk of mystical or spiritual qualities to shrooms, but I don't really subscribe to that. I believe all drugs can open your mind up in different ways and your personal perspective colours that very much.

For me, on Saturday, I spent several hours contemplating how pointless life really is. I don't mean that in a "downer" way, just an honest assessment of the human condition.

I'll try to explain what I mean, but remember this is all nonsense from a drug addled brain.

Your life, my life, the life of everyone who's ever lived so far is genuinely meaningless in the scheme of the universe. Think about people we study or honour and their impact on our lives. So what, eh?

We spend some much time describing our conditions, explaining about ourselves, about life. All books are just a bunch of words containing the thoughts of someone else. Big deal, all the words are in the dictionary, pick enough of them out in the right order and you can write a book too.

Every story told is just about someone else and whatever it is they did. Again, so what? Whether you live to be 100 or your stillborn, it's still the same net result, you don't exist anymore.

We build things, we travel, we do this, and we do that, so fucking what? If every living thing on the planet disappeared today, what would the net resulting impact be on the universe? Nil, nothing, nowt, zero.

Is it that hard to accept that we don't matter. We make up rules, choose what's allowed and what's not, organise ourselves into complex societies. It's something to do to pass the time.

That's really all we do anyway, pass time. Think about it...do you really enjoy your life? Does anyone? Even the rich and powerful get depressed and sometimes even top themselves.

If you are normal, you get up and go to a job. Do you love your work? Is it what you dreamed of being when you were a kid? I doubt it, most jobs are dull. Who sat around as a kid dreaming of one day being a highly paid accountant?

We pass time, we waste time, no matter what your idea of a pleasurable pursuit is, and you do it to fill the time.

We eat, we sleep, we shit, we fuck and that's about it. All the rest, is masturbation of one form or another. We're born and then we die, what's sandwiched in the middle doesn't make much of a difference really. Even if we make some sort of mark on society, or the world, so what? In a billion years is anyone going to remember Jesus or George Washington or Nelson Mandela? Of course not!

The basic concept of why we are here will never be answered. Even if it was, I'm smart enough to know that the tiny human mind couldn't comprehend the answer anyway, even if it was served up on the proverbial silver platter.

You can put your faith into God or Jesus or Allah or the lizard people or whatever, it doesn't make a fig of difference. There is no point to life on this planet, we are just an infection, a virus on the surface. Eventually, we will be wiped out, one way or another.

Kurt Vonnegut said, and I am paraphrasing loads here, that human beings were cursed the day we stood up and said "I think, therefore I am". Once we figured out how to examine our existence, we were cursed.

We just are, we exist, isn't that enough. You can question it all till you are blue in the face, but you are never, ever, ever going to get a genuine answer that clears up all the mystery.

All this existential bullshit only re-affirmed a decision I made about my life a very long time ago. Just have fun, whenever and whereever possible. Drink, take drugs, fuck who you want, eat what you want, sleep when you want, do what you want whenever you can.

Granted, it's not always possible, but I usually am able to please myself, indulge myself whenever I want. You should too!

I'm not scared of death, not of my own anyway. I believe when you are dead, that's it, you cease to exist in any form. There is no soul that lives on. I'm cool with that.

Of course, I'm also cool with the fact that I might have it all wrong. Yeah, I might. If that's the case, then I'll welcome whatever comes next. I don't think it will be fire and brimstone anymore than I think it will be puffy white clouds and an old man with a long white beard. Whatever it might be is so far from what we are able to grasp in our tiny little insect brains, so why bother trying!

Thank you for riding along on my tangent today, I hope the road wasn't too bumpy.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Mmmmmm, my lunch was tasty, there's nothing better than slowly-smoked meat! I could eat it every day. But not tonight, I'm still full and will be skipping dinner. Mrs. H is working late and will just have a salad and some toast, so kitchen duty is easy this evening.

I was hoping for a very peaceful and chilled out Saturday, but no such luck. My cleaner/plumber in training was suppose to install an outside water tap in my garden a couple of weeks ago, but had to cancel. This happens a lot with her.

We rescheduled to do it today, but again she was not able to do it; something to do with not being able to borrow the right drill for the hole through the wall. This means most of my day will be shot with this. She says it will take about 2 hours, so reckon on it really taking 3 or 4. She's coming at noon, which isn't so bad, but I know it will not be simple, smooth or stress-free. I can't fucking wait.

The weather in London today was splendid, as they threatened it would be earlier in the week. This meant central London was chock full of people, literally tripping over each other.

I made it back alive though.

If I can time it out right, tomorrow I would very much like to do some shrooming. I am very much in need of a good, strong trip. I want to see the pretty colours! I want the music to sound extra-good. I want to twist my mind up like a Pennsylvania Dutch pretzel!

That just made me think of hot street pretzels in NYC, covered in mustard, yummmmm!

It's weird, the things that you miss.

I'm stalling.

Really stalling.

Because I was suppose to ring my father today.

And yesterday.

Or the day before.

And I haven't.

I don't think I've even mentioned my last conversation with him on here. It was last weekend, Sunday. Mother's Day. I got to speak to them both.

My father sounded terrible, he said he'd had the worst week so far. The chemotherapy is again hitting him hard. None of this is a surprise, neither is my reaction.

I'm a total fucking coward who can't handle what's going on. At least I'm pretty honest about it. Like honesty will make it all better.

I'll have to call sometime, I can't just keep putting it off. Well, I can actually, I just shouldn't. It's bad enough I can't bring myself to visit, but this is an interesting turn. I can't bring myself to phone. Oh dear.

I need to shroom, I need to soon, I need to shroom, in my shroom room.
Yo, yo, yo, da hippy's in da house!

Not your house, obviously, I don't even know your address.

This will be a quick one, as I am out the door soon. I'm meeting my younger brother at our favourite restaurant in central London. BODEANS BBQ is their website, and yes I have posted it before.

If you're quick, you can come stalk us, we've got a table booked for 12:30.

I was up early today, had to make a flying visit to my local supermarket and wanted to get it out of the way before it got too busy. I like doing things at early actually, I hate crowds and queues.

I'm feeling quite tired this morning, I haven't slept well for the last couple of nights. I'm not going to tell you why! Some things are just too personal.

That's all for now, but I'm planning on coming back later if I have anything of merit to share.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I just re-read my last blog entry from yesterday. Jesus, if I don't come off sounding like Richard Littlejohn!

He's a very right wing columnist who writes for The Sun, Britain's most ring wing tabloid. I'm nothing like him, I assure you. I bet he's never shroomed in his life.

It's been nearly 2 weeks since my last shrooming experience. I ended up not doing any last weekend, it didn't seem like the right timing. I think Friday afternoon might be shroom time, and Saturday and possibly even Sunday. Who knows? Well, I do and I am very much in the mood to get off my face.

I made up loads of my home made capsules a few days ago. I call them my "special brain medicine" and I am definitely in need of some treatment. I'm looking forward to taking some very soon.

I'm now officially self-employed; I called the government help-line and registered today. Now I can send out invoices and get some cash flow. I need to get an accountant to sort it all out, but I have a little bit of time to do that.

I'm in business!

Today hasn't been my most productive, but I've done a few things. I've emptied the bins and done the washing up, been to the supermarket, I made myself some lunch and I picked another flush of shrooms. What fun!

London was threatened with warm, sunny weather this week but they lied! It's been gray, damp and chilly. If I got it as wrong and as often as weather forecasters, I would be unemployable. Thankfully that's not an issue.

I've got fuck-all to say today actually, I mainly started this entry because I wanted to redress my madness from yesterday. Honestly, I'm not Richard Littlejohn!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

I've had four hours sleep, watched the latest episode of the Sopranos from the states and now I'm back here again with no real agenda or plan.

Not the best start to a blog entry, now is it? Don't you wish I had a hippy webcam? You wouldn't have to read about my sleeping and viewing habits...you could watch it live 24/7!

I'm not saying my life is boring, but even I tune myself out sometimes.

Ba-dum-bum.

Believe it or not I took a one-day class in stand-up comedy last year. Yeah, yeah, as if you could tell from this.

It was fun, that course, and I was uncharacteristically confident that day. I even got more than a few laughs. Then I blew it.

No, not on the course, that went really well. So well that I organized an evening at an open mic night at a local comedy club with some of the other people from the class.

Turned out the night we went to club, instead of being a regular evening, was a showcase for a local university's graduating class from the comedy department. The comedy department! No wonder Blair wants top=up fees.

Teenagers saying fuck a lot in front of their parents was not my idea of an evening of quality entertainment.

Add to that the fact that every kid in the pageant brought their parents and this being the year of our lord 2004 and all, their parents' brought their new partners as well. So that was four adults per kid, plus friends, other family, and on and on and the place was packed as tightly as lorry full of illegal Chinese immigrants coming through Dover.

It was the makings of a real panic attack, but I departed swiftly before that could happen. You can imagine the reaction of the people I met there. I have to imagine because I had only spoken to one of them before I disappeared with little warning. There were others at the club as well, I saw them, but they didn't see me.

I'm actually pretty good at that, clocking someone I know and becoming totally invisible. I fade into the background really well, I think I've said it before here, I'm surprisingly anonymous.

Not being noticed is both art and science and I am well practiced at it. In London, you need to be, because it's actually smaller than you think. After living here for 13 years, it's not hard to run into someone you know.

I stopped by to see my younger brother this morning in south London after I finished work. He had some business in the general direction of the local tube station and we walked up there together from his place. Within a space of maybe a half-mile, he said hello to at least three people that he knew. He's lived here even longer than I have, and pretty much in the same place.

What's it like your little corner of the world? Where I live, I get ignored by most of my neighbours. That's not a bad thing since most of them are either asylum seekers or dole fiddlers, or both. I've lived here about 7 years, I recognize hundreds of people on sight because I've seen them so many times, but there's only a handful of neighbours I actually acknowledge even in passing.

Why is that? I don't really know. It's a rough area, but we're all stuck here. I trust that my neighbours would phone the cops if they saw someone trying to break into my home. I'd do the same for them, more if I was feeling particularly angry and wanting to beat on someone's ass.

Did I just type that?

Yes, I did. We all feel rage sometimes, luckily I'm able to keep a lid on mine. Sometimes, it’s very hard, especially now that I'm back riding the tube.

Working nights means I am always going in the opposite direction to just about everyone else. So at the end of your day, when you are doing the underground zombie shuffle to catch your train and a short, fat, bald guy is breathing down your neck, trying to get around you, move over or I'll gut you like a fucking fish! Some people don't want to spend their lives on the tube, so move, walk, shake it like you wanna break it and get the fuck out of my way.

And to the unattractive middle-aged woman of colour who sat next to me from Stockwell to King's Cross, put your cunting make-up on at home. That goes for the cheap perfume and smelly hand cream as well. It was making me physically sick and had I really barfed, I would have done it all over your cheap and nasty wig.

If you are going to ride the tube here in our fair city, please abide by some simple hippy rules:

1) Don't have shouting conversations with your friends. Just because you are a loser, doesn't mean you have to broadcast it.

2) No make-up, hand cream or anything else that stinks like a two-dollar whore on payday in a seaport when all the ships have come in. If you can't find the time to do all that before you leave your home, then darlin', it's not going to help you anyway. You fucking munter.

3) If you are going to read a newspaper, buy a tabloid sized one. The Times and The Independent both come in that size now. And watch your elbows, your funny bone in my face doesn't make me laugh. It might end up making you cry.

4) If there's room elsewhere in the train, don't stand on top of me. I will step on your foot, hard if you do.

5) When you reach the top or bottom, of a staircase or especially an escalator, don't just stop. If you don't know where you are going, step to the side and let the people who do keep moving. I will shove you, hard if you don’t.

Fuckin' hell, a little lack of sleep and I'm going all mental with pent up rage. In high school, I was voted the boy most likely to grow up and impulsively kill a stranger with little provocation.

Remember, the psycho standing behind you might be me, or someone much, much worse.

When I lived in NYC I used to play a game on the subway there. I would glance around the carriage and try to guess which of my fellow passengers might be carrying a gun.

In New York City, this is not as far-fetched as you might think. Guns were cheap and plentiful back then.

Here in London, if you can afford an illegal handgun, you can afford a car, so you ain't ridin' no tube. This is why you hear about drive-by shootings, but as far as I know only stabbings happen on the tube.

Playing the game with knives isn't as much fun and I expect it would easier to guess who didn't have a blade, than who did.

I carry a pen, they say it's mightier than the sword. In close combat, I suppose it would be, because you could stab someone in throat with a pen.

Sweet dreams.
Hey hey, ho, ho the hippy's here, let's start the show!

They've changed Blogger quite a bit in the last day or so. Seems like it’s for the better too. They added all sorts of new features, I've just completed my profile too. Fuck knows where you would go to see it, but it's out there somewhere.

You'll have to excuse me today, I've been up all night working and my brain is a bit mushy. It feels a bit like a damp sponge and is just about as good at complex thought right now.

It wasn't terribly busy last night, actually it was just messy. Maybe you watched, maybe you didn't. My guess is if you are reading this, you didn't. It doesn't matter.

I'm going to have a nap soon. Yipppeee! Then I will be semi-competent when Mrs. Hippy gets home from work later. At least I hope so.

I'm really starting to wonder if anyone out there in internet land has actually read a word of my blog. Perhaps it's a bit narcissistic of me, but I am really curious to know if anyone has stumbled upon this drivel.

And by drivel, of course I mean the sort of inspiring, colourful prose, which normally fills the pages of my lovely blog.

The northlondonhippy blog will be two months old next week. Double yippeeeeee! I'm averaging 5 posts per week (not bad hippyboy), and around 30,000 words so far. I didn't even think I knew that many!

So you, yes you, sitting there, reading this! Write to me, contact me, and let me know you're out there!

And don't think if you don't send me something, I'll stop writing. No way, I'm enjoying this too much to stop! So screw you and the horse you rode in on if you don't want to say "hi" to the hippy!

Saturday, May 08, 2004

This hippy has no real excuse, I haven't written a word in my blog for 6 days. I could have found a spare 5 minutes to just drop by, say "hi", and remind the world I am still alive. I didn't.

Instead I worked 50 hours of nightshifts in the last 6 days on 4 different nights. I did three 12-hour nights at one place and one 14-hour night at the other. Fuck, was I exhausted by the time I finished. It's been a while since I worked that much. At all even!

I've got lots to share, here's the highlights of today's entry:

1) Observations on working again
2) Some new hippy musical pics
3) The obligatory shroom update
4) Some thoughts on pictures

It pays to be organised, or else my drug-addled brain might forget something.

I write lists a lot actually. I make one every day with a bunch of things I hope to accomplish. I do the same when I work, to keep track of the different things that need doing throughout the night. Lists are a good thing.

I've nearly nailed both jobs down pat I think, as best I can in a short period of time. Neither one is terribly demanding, but don't tell anyone that. I actually like the one with the longer hours and lower pay better, which is a bit depressing, but I can handle both with ease and still planning on doing both as long as I can.

I had my first roster conflict between the two this week, and I am certain there will be more to come as well. I don't want to say "no" to either company, I want to be as helpful and agreeable as possible. I need the cash.

I'll be invoicing them both soon for the first time, so I expect I'll finally see some money in June. Have faith, the first round is on me, mine will be a double anything!

A couple of new tunes to point out and even a few to slag off as well this week.

By far the best thing I have heard recently is the new D12 song, "My Band", which features Eminem quite prominently. It's a got a really great hook and the bridge-bit with the harmonies towards the end will give you goose pimples. It's a definite hippy thumbs up!

Outkast are about to release another great single, I saw the premier of the video on Top of the Pops last night. It's called "Roses" and its another winner. I still can't get enough of their music; it's excellent. "I know you like to think your shit don't stink...." is one of the best lyrics I've heard in a long time.

Here's one for my list that I shouldn't like at all, the new single from Avril Lavigne's latest, "Don't Tell Me". I know I shouldn't like it, but it is very good, almost anthemic tune. It's much better than her early material. Don't be surprised if you like it too.

Ok, now the stuff that's garbage. Peter Andre's "Insania" is a piece of crap. After all the build-up from IACGMOH, I thought he might actually be able to produce something better than this. It's really awful, but I bet it sells. Good taste is not something that the average single-buyer actually possesses.

Take a look at Christina Milian, the former teen singer whose new single called "Dip It Low" is being pimped out almost like porn. It charted at number 2 last week. How? Not because it is a great song, I've heard it a few times and still couldn't hum it for you now if I tried. Marketing is everything.

But the worst thing I have heard in a long time is Eamon's piece of shit, "Fuck It, I Don't Want You Back" and the musical reply from his ex-girlfriend, Frankee, "Fuck You Right Back." Putting "fuck" into your lyrics or even title, wow, really innovative.

Here's the thing kiddies; both of these songs have almost identical backing tracks, don't they? Now, how could that be? My guess is they are a co-ordinated release, done to maximize the sales of both. I wonder if Eamon and Frankee have even ever met before. It's fucking tosh and if you like or worse buy it, you are banned from my weblog. Don't come back!

Stick to D12, Outkast and maybe Avril. The rest is unadulterated shite. Have I steered you wrong yet?

I haven't shroomed this week, so far. Bummer I know, but I haven't had the time. These things happen. As always there is good news, bad news and better news regarding my shroom production.

The good news is I took a third flush from K3, which has proven to be the best of the three new kits I bought last month. The bad news is that K1, the mutant shroom growing brick is no more. I tossed it out yesterday. That's the second one I've lost from this batch. It's not a total loss, if you total up what I've grown so far and add to that the 100grams of freebies, I'm still ahead money-wise.

But here's the better news, a friend of mine from the EDIT forums posted me 2 kits for free, he would not even let me reimburse him for the cost of the postage. They are a different strain of p.cubes, Hawaiian instead of my usual Mexican. In a couple of weeks, It will be good to taste something new!

It was very generous of this guy to send me free kits, because he felt bad that I had these duff kits from my usual source. What a cool guy, eh? I hope good karma will now follow him around like a friendly puppy! Thanks mate!

I've got an abundance of shrooms at the moment, most of them dry and ready to be stuffed into vegicaps. There's a temptation to take some tonight, or maybe even Sunday night. How can I be the trippiest hippiest hippy on the net if I miss out on a week of shrooming? I can't, can I?

Sold, I'm getting monged at some point this weekend. I'm only working one night this week, so far. I'll probably be able to fit a second voyage in later in the week. If that doesn't keep my hippy cred high, nothing will.

I've got to score some weed this week as my stash is getting low. Being a full time drug user takes planning and preparation you know and I've perfected it. Party with this hippy and it's a guaranteed good time!

The last thing I want to mention is taking photos, specifically taking photos of things you don't want other people to know about.

Here in the UK, it's not just the Iraqi prisoner abuse photos that have been in the news, there's also a story concerning one of the countries best known soap-opera actors, a web-cam and his erect cock.

One of the stars of Eastenders (the BBC's most popular show) was caught by a Sunday tabloid masturbating in front of a webcam. The face pics have been in the newspapers, but they have spared us the sight of his penis thankfully.

Big deal, right now, as I sit here typing this, there are probably thousands of people around the world exposing themselves on webcams. The fact that a celebrity is doing it should not come as a surprise, but that he would allow pictorial evidence to be saved is simply astonishing. He's got so much to lose; more than most of us. It's a compulsion, an addiction; he can't stop himself I guess. I can see no other explanation.

What's shocking about the photos from Iraq is not what they show, but that they exist at all. No, I'm not saying I condone what they show, just that it would have been what I expected. There's no surprise to me that they would treat prisoners this way, none at all. That these trailer-trash, hayseed, motherfuckers would be dumb enough to take still photos and videotapes boggles my mind. How cuntastically stupid are they?

What they have done to the prisoners is unspeakably horrible and no human being, no matter what they've done, should be treated this way, ever. But the fact is it happens, all over, everywhere I expect. It's just the way people are; when they are given power over others, they abuse it. It's just too hard not too; the temptation is too great. We can't stop ourselves.

Advice for everyone, if you are going to do something you don't want anyone to know about, fucking don't take pictures!!!

That's it from the hippy for today. Hand on heart, I'll be back sooner and more often this week. Until they, stay high, stay happy, and stay out of the newspapers!

Sunday, May 02, 2004

The northlondonhippy, he's a little trippy, he's not really a hippy and he types lots of yipppeeees.

Not exactly the catchiest jingle, is it? I never claimed to be any good at marketing or advertising, if you don't like it, don't buy it!

As if I have anything for sale.

I sell my time, that's what working freelance really is...if you give me enough money, I'll drop by your place, watch tv, talk on the telephone and mess about with a PC. I don't come cheap either!

Ooooh, listen to me. A couple of week’s work and I'm full of shit already.

I'm working in a few hours actually, all night. Yippeeee

Actually, I always have a bit of apprehension before work, this was even true when I had a staff job. I don't really know why, but I almost always have butterflies in my stomach until I get there and settle in.

This is especially true of my venue tonight. I've only been there twice so far and really don't have a handle on the job yet. It's very "bitty", the shift is made up of small, specific tasks, done at different times with different requirements. I'm being vague, sorry.

Someone different is training me tonight, someone I used to work with a few years back. This person said nice things about me to the manager in charge, so I am expecting to get more out of my training this time. I've tried to break it down into pieces, make more sense of it, but I think only time and experience doing it will make things clearer.

This is the first of several more full paid training shifts this week, then I will have my first solo shift. Here's hoping I learn enough this week to pull it off. I'm not even sure I can remember my password to the computer network!

I spoke to my father today. I know the subject has been noticeably absent from the blog lately because I hadn't spoken to him in over 2 weeks. That's longer than usual.

I was waiting for him to call me, he's started chemotherapy again and starts radiotherapy this week. I finally rang him today. He sounded bad, the worst he's been so far.

My younger brother spoke to him last night, which meant I was prepared for the decline in his condition. The call wasn't as bad as it could have been, and I am sure they will only get worse. He sounded very frail.

When my brother spoke to my father about a week ago, it was a much different picture. He'd just come back from his first consultation with the radiotherapy doctor, who was apparently very optimistic about "beating the cancer". He told my brother this was the first doctor to give him any hope since his initial diagnosis. He was actually very upbeat about it.

I know there is going to be a bit of up and down, but this one was very confusing. Is my father only hearing what he wants to hear? Does he briefly delude himself into thinking that it can be beaten?

He's not being very accepting of his approaching demise. That's easy for me to say, since I'm not in his position. He's not at peace with life, he is consumed by worries about things he can change or accept. He's still trying to cling to life, no matter what the quality of that time. Again, easy for me to sit here in relative good health and say that, but I would like to think that when my time comes, if I have to face something terminal, I can calmly accept my fate.

It's also occurred to me in a very real way that as the end approaches, every telephone call has the potential to be the last. He's very weak, he could really go at any time.

He's still driving, which is very bad news, especially if you turn out to be the other driver when he another accident. Also, he has to give his live-in home help two consecutive days off a month and this month he has no replacement. That means he would have to take care of my mother on his own.

He says he is fatigued and lacking energy all the time, so how he expects to accomplish this is beyond me. He refuses to hire relief home-help, siting the cost and availability as the reason. Has he phoned any agencies to see what it cost, or how much notice they would need? Has he fuck!

I worry too much about things I can't change. Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen no matter what. I'm sure this story still has a couple of twists I've not anticipated, and an ending that will be anything except what I expect.

I've got to get ready for work. I wish I had more sleep today, but what can you do? I'll be back when I can during the week with more exciting tales of the hippy!

Saturday, May 01, 2004

I've got GMail now.

It's from Google, the nice people who give this blog a home, so I suppose I should return the favour and big-up their new email service. I'm northlondonhippy@gmail.com

Who cares if they spy on you. My life's an open secret. I smoke dope, take shrooms, watch satellite tv, order takeaways. If Google can help me to improve on that, to make my enjoyment of those things better, then let them. I'd buy their stock if I had any money. Hey Google, you owe me now!

And also, here's a hippy discovery: Mars Delights mmmmmmmmmmm good. Please send me some free. I mentioned them. Send me a few cases, please! They are all kinds of good.

I took some shrooms today. I have to be honest, they weren't the nicest ones I've had, but I got a deal on them from the stall in Camden I frequent. It was a pretty strong dose, but I am starting to think I've developed quite a tolerance to them lately. I took the equivalent of 50 grams fresh.

I say equivalent because actually I have a confession to make. A couple of weeks back I decided it was nonsense choking them down fresh. They are foul, and I hate normal mushrooms even on a good day. So now, I dry them out.

I dry them, powder them and stuff them into vegicaps. They’re portable, easy to swallow, no muss, no fuss, fun in a capsule.

As soon as they are dry, they become class "A". How fucking silly is that? They are mushrooms, fungus, nothing more. They contain psilocybin, which is a really cool drug that seems pretty harmless physically. It could turn your brain to mush, but then it probably was mush to begin with.

So yeah, besides spliff, my drug of choice right now is magic mushrooms. I dry 'em, powder them and jam them into capsules. My brand just got better.

At least I don't drink. That's not true, I don't drink much. Alcohol has been my drug of choice in the past, I've bellied-up to lots of bars. I'm still partial to a spot of fine VSOP cognac, Martells if you're buying.

But let's be honest, what drug causes the most damage to lives, to society?

Booze should be class fucking "A", look at the fucking trouble it causes. Look at any town centre on a Saturday night, but do it from a distance, or you might get your fookin' skull kicked in like!

Big H, charlie, E, they might fuck people up, but not like alcohol. Just because it’s legal and peddled on every street corner doesn't change the fact that it's A DRUG.

I'll tie my high horse up outside if you would be so kind as to fetch some straw.

We all get our jollies somehow, somewhere. So what?

Just leave me alone to trip out on my shroomies!

A friend of mine is off to Saudi Arabia in a few days. This is a big deal, they don't let foreign journos in there very often. A visa to Saudi can take years to score, lots tea drunk waiting for the guy with the rubber stamp as well. It's a shitty time to be going what with the whole jihad thing going on.

That's why he's going, to cover all these jihadis and their idea of fun. Today that meant killing a shedload of westerners, Americans, Brits, Aussies, nice. I hope my friend keeps his head down and comes back safe.

The hippy's making pizzas tonight, and staying up late. I'm planning on snoozing my way through Sunday because I'm working Sunday night. Haha I'm working, takes some getting used to after the last year or so!

Work, work, work, I'm getting paid again for watching tv, reading stuff on a PC, and talking on the telephone. What could be finer?

I've got 5 nights in the next eight days. That's £1,265 gross - fuck knows what I'll have to put aside to pay the taxman. Pretty sweet if you ask me.

I'd love to sit here and continue typing this nonsense, but I got fresh shrooms to pick. They're ready and dripping with shroomtastic goodness.

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