VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Friday, December 31, 2004

Less than an hour to go before Big Ben chimes in the New Year. I promised I'd be back one last time before 2004 is shown the back door. Here I am and guess what?

I've sneaked off to the PC at someone else's house, I'm blogging from a big fuck-off party in north London! There's plenty of booze, drugs and available women, though I'll only be partaking of the first two goodies on offer. Mrs. Hippy would never forgive me, and I'd never forgive myself if I took advantage of the third. Besides, who'd want to shag me, a short, fat, bald hippy from north London?

Attending the party was a last minute decision. My friend invited me a while ago, but I expected to be away and declined the invitation. Around lunchtime today, I thought, fuck this shit man, I need to party with a bunch of people I don't know. I need to be around people who don't drink or take drugs most of the year, so I can watch them make utter fucking twats of themselves.

What are you fucking mad? Do you really think I'd be at some New Year's Eve party? Did I really fool you? If I did, perhaps you started dipping into the cooking sherry too early.

Of course I'm not at some stupid party. I wasn't invited to a single one. Not that I would, being a hippyhermit and all. Innit.

Sorry if I was fucking with you there a bit, but you have to remember this blog is here to amuse one person first and foremost. Um, that's me, since I’m selfish, self-centered and a master of self-abuse.

Way hey, whoa ho, this hippy's gonna blow!

That's not true either. I'm having a very sedate New Year's Eve. Yes, there's spliff, but not much else. I debated a big fat dose of shrooms, but decided it would be better to see in the New Year with them, than see out the old. In other words, tomorrow is shroom day, tonight is not.

I prefer shrooming during the daylight hours anyway, it's easier to see the really extra-pretty colours.

I'm in my lounge, ensconced in my lair, with the lights off, except for my groovy, cool laserpod. If I can manage to keep my eyes open, I might watch tv at midnight, see the date change. Big whoop and all that.

Where I live, in fabulous north London, the locals like to celebrate by blowing up loads of firecrackers and other explosive devices. They also fire their guns, so watch out when those bullets fall back to earth. They can kill you. Don't worry, I'm safe, I'm wearing my hippy hard hat.

So there was no hippy retrospective, just me trying to compensate for the fact that I'm here, on my own, feeling down, feeling depressed, feeling like another year has gone by without anything particularly good happening, just lots and lots of B-A-D.

It's just a date; New Year's Eve doesn't really mean anything. Well, what it means is some weirdoes in funny robes a long time ago arbitrarily decided to start measuring the days, beginning on this date. That's all. It's just how us humans keep track of the date, it's just a number. It don't mean shit.

If you're out tonight, on what many people call amateur night; be careful. There are a lot of losers out there that want to die and maybe take you with them. Be safe, take your drugs, drink your booze and stay in one place. Try to get laid, but use a condom if you do. And if you don't, remember this, when you get home and have a wank, it's the first one of the New Year. Nothing like starting the year off right, eh?

Here's to everyone who's helped make the northlondonhippy blog a success. Oh wait, that's just me. And who said it was a success? I didn't even crack the magic one-thousand hit mark. There's always next year.

Happy 2005 fuckers! Stay cool, stay high, stay hippyfans eternally!

Thursday, December 30, 2004

Ok, I'm here. I shouldn't actually be here. I should be elsewhere. Elsewhere wasn't possible, although I very nearly made it. It wasn't for lack of trying, because I was trying hard to be elsewhere.

I'm one crazeeee hippy.

I had a good old-fashioned mini-freak out today. It wasn't pleasant, I'm not sure what's up with my shit. I was suppose to accompany Mrs. H to her parents' house for New Year's Eve, but I didn't quite make it.

I think my life is finally catching up with me. I think I let all the stress of the last year, which I'd been keeping wrapped up pretty tight, right out of the box today. It wasn't just today, I've been fairly highly strung for the last couple of days. Those feelings crested today, just like an Asian tsunami, wiping out my normally calm and cool demeanor like a Thai beach.

Sorry, I shouldn't be playing games with the disaster in Asia, but I think it too has really had an effect on my state of mind. I find the entire thing really scary and depressing. Did you know the planet actually wobbled on its axis because of the quake that caused all the big waves? It really puts things into perspective, as if I needed anything to tell me how insignificant I am, or rather we all are.

Whenever there’s a big disaster where tourists are involved, I always say the same thing. “If you want to stay safe, stay home.” Perhaps I have a touch of agoraphobia in addition to everything else.

On top of all this, there's a pretty good chance things are going to slow down for me on the work front. The next two months are looking particularly dry, which I'm finding especially discouraging. I've been used to working a lot every month and was finally starting to get just a little bit ahead financially. Now that this may not be the case, I'm going to have to review my plans for major purchases.

Yes, that means the car and maybe even the new computer.

I'm hoping I'm misreading the work situation, but I'm usually spot-on when I assess things like this. There's a reason why I'm usually safe to trust my own judgement. Though with feeling stressed, how sure can I really be?

I nearly made it to Mrs. Hippy's family's house, I got amazingly close, before I asked Mrs. H to drop me off at the nearest train station. I came back home to north London. I was a few hundred miles away, if you must know, but I had to come home.

I was worried about ruining everyone else’s holiday. When I’m down I can be a real downer, man. I could vibe-out an entire football stadium without really trying. It’s something I don’t like to do, I’d much rather hide away until it passes than inflict it on others.

Mrs. H was unbelievably cool about the whole thing, she could see how crazeeee I was. I am. I will be? All I know is I let her down and I let her family down.

But that's about right, since I have a lot of practice. I practiced on my own family. Practice makes perfect. I'm perfect at letting people close to me down. Today was another flawless performance.

I let my father down, he's gone now and he died thinking I couldn't be bothered to see him. I'm letting my mother down right now, as she is desperate for me to visit. I probably won't, I can't even make it as far away as I tried today. And I've let my younger (now estranged) brother down, but that's best left alone here.

I insisted Mrs. H visit her family without me, she was willing to turn the car around and head back to fabulous north London with me. Just because I ruined my own New Year's Eve, doesn't mean I had to ruin it for her, or her family as well.

Some of you might have had the misfortune to read an entry I wrote a couple of nights ago, which I have since deleted. It was quite dark and depressing, more so than this one even and I decided it wasn't something I wanted to leave on this page. It's the first time I've ever taken something down after posting it. Even this hippy can sometimes go too far.

Bet you never thought you'd read that in this blog!

Like every blue mood I've ever had, this current one will pass. It's been a good long while since I've felt this bad, I guess I was over-due. Perhaps this is getting it out of the way, so I can start 2005 in a more positive spirit.

My twisted logic has always allowed me to take comfort from things normal people would find depressing. At a tender young age, I figured out that in the scheme of the universe, I'm nothing and this realisation was like a freedom to me. I take similar comfort in not believing in an afterlife. Knowing that when I die, I'll just stop existing, as ultimately the inevitable release from this life will be welcomed.

I used to be obsessed with death. Not in a goth, all dressed in black, way, but I used to think about it a lot. Not just my death, which has never really frightened me, but the deaths of those closest to me were what I feared most. Specifically, I dreaded my father's death. Now that it's come to pass, I'm just I’m just numb. I closed down to the reality of it. I don’t know that I even grasp it now, nearly four months later.

I used to worry about my father's death endlessly, the fear it kept me from doing all sorts of things when I was younger. When I moved so far away from my parents, I lived in a dream world where I thought I would be able to be there for them when they needed me. I tried when my mother had her massive stroke. I managed it for a while, then I went a bit mad.

I went a bit mad because I realised I couldn't really do anything. The more I tried, the more they wanted, and no matter what I did, I couldn't ever meet their expectations. So I stopped trying. I haven't been back to see them since.

When my father was diagnosed with cancer, he asked me to visit. As his condition and outlook worsened, his requests became more plaintive to the point of begging. Did I go see him? Did I fuck, instead I stopped telephoning as frequently, to avoid the subject.

I was an ostrichhippy, with my head in the sand, I mourned and grieved before he was gone, to the point that when he did die, it was almost anti-climatic. I missed the opportunity to say good bye to my dad one last time, because I'm a selfish, immature cunt.

Someone had to say it, it might as well be me.

There's more to the story, of course, but they're just details, they don't change the broad strokes of the truth. I let people down. I let myself down. I've only got myself to blame.

Somehow, I keep going though. I don't know why, it doesn't matter why, I just do. I'll find something else to look forward to; next year has to be better than this year. This year? There's only around 25 hours left in 2004 as I write this latest helping of my special brand of drivel.

I think I've been enough of a downer for one night. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow and try to make sense out of 2004 and see if I can find anything to be positive about for 2005.

And here's where you can help! I'm 25 hits shy of my goal to have 1000 hits on this page before the end of the year. I only need one hit an hour until midnight to make my goal. I've never had that many hits in one day (sad I know), but its not impossible! So tell your friends, sent the hippylink to everyone in your contact file. Even if they'd hate me, every click counts! Don’t you want to see the hippy have one thing go right for a change?

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

I'm sure you've heard the news by now, that America has decided not to send any aid or relief supplies to the quake/tidal wave zone. The Bush administration instead is taking a different tack. They've announced their new initiative, they've decided to launch a full scale war against earthquakes.

The US government has contracted the Halliburton Corp to develop a system to hold the planet's tectonic plates in place. The plan, budgeted for over 20 billion dollars (US), expected to take at least 15 years to implement should be as successful as the "star wars" missile defense system.

A press spokesperson for Mr. Bush said that the "war on drugs" and the "war on terror" have gone so well, it was time to launch a newer, smarter war against earthquakes. When asked if the money could better spent helping the survivours of this disaster, they said "But why? Most of them aren't even American."

Ok, I'm making jokes about a serious subject. Perhaps I shouldn't. Too late, I already did.

Would it surprise you if that was America's response to this global catastrophe? They declare war on everything, why not quakes? As long as they don't declare war on hippies, I'm cool. Of course, if they did, I'd still be cool, since they couldn't ever win against me!

It's looking less and less likely that I'm going to have time for my hippy review of the year. I haven't given up on the idea, I just don't see when I'll have the free time to do it justice. I don't want to do a half-assed job of it, I want to do this right!

It has been an eventful year for me on a few levels, both personally and professionally and I'd like to be able to tie it all up into one perfect entry. I'd also like to win the lottery jackpot and be a foot taller. We'll see if any of those things happen in the next few days.

I'm 60 hits away from my goal of 1,000 visitors to my blog. With 4 days left in the year, I'd only need an average of 15 hits per day to crack it. It's not going to happen either, is it? Well, I haven't given up yet, so tell your friends about the hippy! Turn them all into hippyfans! You know it makes sense, and they'll love you for the tip!

I'm still tracking visitors through, which is the service that provides the hit counter for this blog. I can see that I have a few more regular visitors to the site and naturally I encourage repeat business. Plus I'm still getting more people stumbling upon the blog through Google searches, which I'm sure is a pleasant surprise for them.

It doesn't matter how you find this blog, what counts is that you made it here. Remember, becoming a hippyfan means you are now a card carrying member of the vanguard of the internet elite! Well done you for getting here, but now that you've arrived, you should really bookmark the hippy! Become a regular visitor and get a free tee-shirt (subject to availability in your area). Better yet, sort out the RSS/ATOM feed, then you won't need to come to the hippy, you can make the hippy come to you!

Don't know about RSS/ATOM? Shame on you, just click HERE for a quick "how-to" guide. Don't like that site, Google can help you find others.

And with that, this hippy's going back to work, Tuesday night is my last night of working in 2004. I'll be yippppppeeeeee mad by then!

And I know I started out taking the piss a bit about the quake and tidal waves, but please spare a thought for the people out there in Asia. The death toll may very well top 100,000 people, with millions homeless and displaced. This hippy will be making a donation as soon as there's a charity set up to help them and you should too. Byeeeeee

Monday, December 27, 2004


It got busy for me at work on Sunday morning, thanks the the giant earthquake in Asia and the ensuing tidal waves. My job is a bit like "chaos theory", if a butterfly flaps its wings in China, something bad happens someplace else around the world, or some such existential nonsense.

It's still busy, this is one of the biggest world disasters in my life time. The death toll is currently hovering around 13,000 people, but this hippy predicts the final tally will be more like double that. That's serious, that's god just showing off. That's the good lord saying, "hey fuckers, watch this and die!"

As if god really spoke that way. Well, he does to me, but I've been known to hallucinate. Not often enough, I can tell you that for nothing.

I've broken the back of my run and only have 2 more left after tonight. Yipppppeeee to that and a whole lot more. Next up is New Year's Eve and I'm not working any of it.

I'm sober tonight, completely. The only buzz I've got going is courtesy of my large, vanilla flavoured cappucino, which I'm sipping on as I type. Yum.

I've got 5 more hours of fun remaining, then it's home and to bed. I'm looking forward to sleeping loads, I love sleep and just can't get enough these days.

In my world, there's no such thing as enough, but there's always more! Of everything!

I love being totally self-indulgent, I only wish I could be that way every day! There's always tomorrow...

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Xmas is over, did you get that iPOD? How about that PS2 with GTA San Andreas?

Santa brought me a DVD recorder. Ok, it wasn't Santa, it was Mrs. Hippy, how cool is that?

I've not hooked it up yet, but will do very soon. I'd like to swap it for the VHS machine, but I haven't decided yet. I'm looking forward to playing with it soon.

I gave my mother a quick phone call earlier. I would have spoken to her longer, but she sounded tired and it was an effort for her to speak to me. I was late phoning, which means loads of other people would have called before me. I'll try again on Sunday and hope she is more rested.

She said she had a nice day, my older half-brother visited and her home helper cooked a nice meal. For my mom, that's as good as it gets. I sent her a plant, which she thanked me for, I didn't know what else to send her.

I'm about 1/2-way through my shift and I'm a bit pissed. I was offered a glass of reasonable champagne when I arrived in the office tonight, which was swiftly followed by another and I was half-cut before I knew it. An empty stomach, not enough sleep and a couple of glasses of bubbly equals a big ol' booze buzz. On top of that, I'm been outside for a bit of what this hippy loves best, so I'm quite comfortably wasted right now. Moderation is the key to partying while working and I've not overdone it so far.

I could stretch this entry out a bit more, maybe tell you when I took a crap, had a piss, ate a bloody mince pie, but I've already bored you enough for one night. Please resume your festivities. This hippy will still be here when you're finished!

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas hippyfans!

As I write these words, Jesus is probably sliding down your chimney with that PS2 or iPOD. I hope you left out some snacks. I hear he really likes cheese flavoured Doritos, but don't quote me. You only need to leave out one and he can replicate them, just like he did with the bread and the fish.

Blasphemy hippy! There's a special spot reserved for you in HELL!

Hey! I'd like you all to spare a thought for those of us working throughout the holiday period. Without us, the world would just stop turning. It doesn't matter what we're doing, be doctor, nurse, cab driver, waitress or "media professional", we've auctioned off our xmas so you don't have to! How about a yipppppeeeee for all of us?

Thanks, I really needed that yippppeeee.

I'm bored, so is everyone else surrounding me. There's food, a little bit of booze and not much else to do.

I've found myself reflecting back on xmas's gone by. They weren't always like this. The first xmas I ever worked was exactly 15 years ago, tonight as it happens. Instead of spending it with my family, I sold it out for 400 bucks and cab fare. As it turns out, I only had 2 more xmas's with my parents' after that one. I'd happily return the 400 dollars for one more xmas with my parents. It doesn't work that way, hippy you twat.

When I was a kid, xmas was special. My parents were always very generous. If I'm honest, they spoiled my younger (now estranged) brother and I rotten. We always got loads of gifts. Ok, we were a little bit well-off, but not rich by today's standards.

I used to get so excited when I was a child, that I couldn't get to sleep on xmas eve. It use to drive my parents mad, waiting for me to fall asleep so they could do their santa-business and turn in themselves.

The anticipation was maddening. My parents were pretty good about hiding my gifts, so I wasn't usually sure what I'd be receiving. I'd lay in bed, tossing & turning, unable to calm my mind enough to greet the sandman. That's when xmas meant something to me.

I don't mean about Jesus and all that, but family. I miss my family. I miss being a kid. Why don't they tell you to make the most of it. Actually, my mother used to, but I didn't pay attention. Ho hum.

I've worked countless xmas's since then, though not in the last few years. This is actually the first one since probably 1997, which is a good long time. I did work the Millenium, though, as if that counts for anything.

Enough of this maudlin shit. Tomorrow night, everyone's already talking about having more to drink, which I think is probably a good plan. I'd quite enjoy being rat-assed for the entire night. Just imagine how much blogging will be when I'm pissed!

And on that happy note, I'll bid you all sweet dreams of sugar-plum fairies and shiny, brand-new gifts. Merry xmas to all and to all a good night!

Friday, December 24, 2004

Greetings hippyfans!

And that’s you, yes you! If you come to this blog more than once, then you qualify. You’re a hippyfan, so don’t even try to deny it. It won’t be long before you’re getting your hippyfix every day. Don’t worry, you’re in good company in my ever growing legions of hippyfans. You guys rock! You are the vanguard of the internet elite. Finding this page makes you special, well done you!

And can I wish you all a very hippy Happy, happy Hippy xmas! I guess I can, since I just did.

I hope Santa brought you everything you asked for, be it a slimline Playstation 2 w/GTA San Andreas, a 60 gig photo iPOD or that elusive BJ from Britney. You were all good boys and girls last year, so I hope your xmas dreams came true!

It’s actually xmas eve, early in the morning. I’m going back to bed soon, since I’m at work tonight. So Santa, if you’re coming, that’s when this hippy will be asleep. Of course, if you’re bringing me the VW Polo, you can just park it outside and drop the keys through the letterbox.

I hope Santa is a hippyfan. He must be, what with the long hair, the beard and his well-known love of shrooms! How else do you think he gets Rudolph’s nose to glow? Shrooms let you see the pretty colours!

I was going to write the hippy xmas message today, but I don’t really feel like I’m in the right mood for a retrospective on the year. I’d be limping down memory lane, rather than strolling with my head held high. The year of your lord 2004 has been more than a bit shit for this hippy.

I don’t mean to be a downer, well any more than normal, but 2004 hasn’t been much fun for me. Blah blah blah. Yeah, yeah, save it for someone who cares.

All things considered, I’d rather be shrooming. At least things are always happy in the secret world of the mushroom god. He’s never let me down.

I was really hoping to crack 1,000 hits on the blog before this year ends, but a quick glance at the hit counter will reveal I’m around 100 shy of this target, with about a week left to go. I would estimate the chances of me having that many hits in the next week slim, but not impossible. Here’s where you can help!

No, I don’t want you to keep hitting refresh, that would be cheating. Instead, I want you to tell one friend about the hippy and ask them to tell one friend and on and on and on until everyone on the internet is a hippyfan and you all worship me as your one true drug god!

Oooops, the ol’ megalomania is coming back. What I meant to say is, if you can tell one friend, and they can tell one friend, well maybe, just maybe, I’ll make my target of 1,000 hits in the last six months. So, go on, make this tired old hippy happy, spread the word! You know it makes sense!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

If it were any earlier, it would be last night!

It's just gone 7am and I'm awake, been up for about 30 minutes. Don't know why precisely, though my alarm was set for 7:30am anyway, so this is not a tragedy of any serious proportions.

My cunning plan is to visit the supermarket within the hour, get the last of my pre-xmas food shopping finished, bring it all home, then walk up to my high street for the last of my shopping. Mainly I need to renew a prescription, plus pick up a few tiny things. All in all, the day is looking managable so far. If I really get it all done, I might try to grab a short nap, stay up really late tonight and sleep through most of tomorrow. Xmas eve is my first night of 5 and while I expect them to all be fairly dull and uneventful, it would be nice to be rested for them all.

Mrs Hippy and I are both working this weekend, so we won't see much of each other, nor will we be having xmas dinner together. Don't be sad for us, we'll make the most of whatever time we share and we're planning on big celebrations for New Year's Eve, which is when we will celebrate together.

We haven't gone big on gifts this year, I have a few for Mrs H and I think she has one main gift for me. What I really wanted for xmas was to find a medium priced, second hand VW Polo anyway, but I'm sure I'll be able to locate one come the new year - ooooops, that's only 8 days away. It will take me more time than that, but hopefully in the next couple of weeks, I'll be behind the wheel of my new car.

And don't forget my new computer as well, I hope to be purchasing one very soon. I'm still leaning towards the Apple G5 iMAC, but until I play with one, the decision remains open. Betcha can't wait to see which way I jump. I know, the anticipation must be driving you wild!

I'm also aiming to write a proper hippy xmas message. Maybe I'll start on it today, if I have the time. I'm planning an ecclectic mix of a look back at the previous year and a glance forward to 2005. Can you think of anything more entertaining? I know I can't!

Oh and before I forget, I tried out the Happy Caps Lounge-E's last night, they were subtle, yet relaxing and pleasant. I took the stated dose, which is 2x capsules, but I've found with these herbal highs, to really get anywhere, you need to exceed the recommended dose. Next time, if there is a next time, that's just what I'm planning to do.

I've still got the kratom, that kanna and the shrooms, though I don't know if I will get to any of that today or tonight. You never know, I might just surprise myself and do something else later today. There's only one way for you to find out if I do any more interesting legal drugs today and that's to tune back into the hippy, you already know how to find me!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


I neglected to mention this earlier, but thanks to pressure from the film industry in Hollywood, my favourite site for BitTorrent has gone down for good. It's a sad day for downloaders, which includes this hippy.

I'd been using for quite a while now. Since I'm anonymous here, I'll cop to downloading music, films and American tv shows, strictly for my own personal enjoyment. Recall all those "special screenings" I've mentioned for first-run films? They mostly came from BitTorrent and Surpnova.

I don't make copies and sell them, I don't even give them to my mates. And I don't keep copies, once I view something, I delete it. I never burn films onto CD or DVD. All I did is watch them, does that make me a criminal?

In the eyes of the copyright holders, I'm sure it does, but what do they offer as a substitute for pirate downloads? Sweet fuck-all. Until they can provide a viable alternative, we should all keep downloading stuff for free. I'd happily pay a few quid to download a first run film for my viewing pleasure, but no one offers this service.

Martin Luther King famously once said that "an unjust law should be broken" and it is one's moral responsibility to do so. I've always applied his philosophy to drugs and my use of them. Drug laws are nonsensical, so they should be broken at every possible opportunity.

It's the same with downloads. The law's are stupid and so are the film companies. Why should I wait 6 months to see a film in the UK, when it has already been released in the US and Europe? I shouldn't, the studios should make sure its available everywhere at the same time. Until there is a legal way to get content off the net, stick to downloading for free!

The music industry is slowing getting its act together, with legal sites like iTunes and Coke's MyMusic, if you want to purchase music online, you can. That's a viable alternative and they really need to do something similar with films as well.

I'll get off my soapbox now and simply close by sending my thanks to who-ever it was that ran They might have crushed your website, but they can't crush your spirit. I'm sure they'll be back in some form or another, before the film industry can get its act together. Good luck to 'em and keep the pirate material coming!
Hello hippyfans, your legions grow in numbers every day.

This won't be a long entry, I haven't got all that much to say. I've got plenty of time though, with the world is winding down as xmas approaches.

I didn't sleep nearly enough today, though that was my fault. I was working on something else this morning, which kept me awake later than planned. I'm feeling quite exhausted.

What I need is a big fat juicy dose of shrooms, but there will be no chance for that this week. Time is just too tight. I've got the kratom and Happy Caps though and one of them will be sampled in the next few days. Maybe even both, if I'm clever. I used to be clever, these days I'm pretty dull, so we'll see.

I'm not the only one who thinks drugs are the answer, Robbie Williams made some controversial comments in an interview regarding his love of drugs as well. Rather than me regurgitating it, through the miracle of HTML, you can read it for yourself RIGHT HERE.

If you don't know who Robbie Williams is, you are probably in the US of A, where he's never really caught on. Here in the rest of the world, he is a major pop star, especially in the UK. His last record deal was in the region of 80 million pounds, which is US dollars is around 150 million. So yeah, he's pretty big. Some of his music is pretty good, check it out.

Basically, he's said that the best times of his life were when he was taking drugs, specifically a mix of charlie, E and booze. That's a combo I know quite well myself and can personally attest to the pleasure of that mix.

Robbie says he stopped because it made him gain weight and if it didn't, he'd still be enjoying them. Since I'm fat already, that wasn't a problem for me, but it wasn't doing my physical or mental health any good, which is why I stopped. I haven't touched coke or MDMA in over 2 years. Yippeee for the hippy and his natural highs.

Robbie has been widely criticized for his comments already, which is foolish. He's just being honest about his experiences with drugs. If more people were honest about their experiences, perhaps we'd all have a better, more honest perspective on the truth about drugs.

When you're that rich, you can say whatever the fuck you like and get away with it. With me, when you're this anonymous, you can say anything you like as well. The difference is, people pay attention to what Robbie says, nobody cares what this hippy says!

Except you, my loyal fan base, who hang on my every word!

As the self-proclaimed "most shroomtastic stoner on the internet" as well as being the "biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of", I should be uniquely positioned to offer my services as journalist, commentator and general expert on the world of drugs. Somebody somewhere should hire me to be their illicit drugs correspondent.

I'm punctual, never miss a deadline and could provide a wide range of fact, opinion and personal experience on the subject of drugs. I await offers from all areas of the media, be in online, radio, tv or print. My rates are reasonable, at least until I'm famous and my only condition would be that I remain anonymous. That's not too much to hope for, is it?

God I wish I brought some spliff with me tonight. I am just so bored and I've got nearly 5 hours left to go. Yawn. Anyway, that's it for now, catch ya tomorrow when hopefully I'll be high as the proverbial kite on something or other! Until then, keep those positive vibes coming my way!

Monday, December 20, 2004

I nearly logged in on Sunday morning to write a long essay on how pointless my existence is. Yep, I was in a really good mood. Instead I went to bed earlier than usual to try and shake the feeling.

It didn't work. I'm still feeling fairly pointless.

What do you do when it finally dawns on you that the dreams you've been clinging to for your entire life are slipping away? What do you do when you realise that perhaps, this is as good as it gets?

I don't have an answer. Even drugs, which are almost always the answer, don't quite solve this one.

I'm thinking too much about my life as an adult and how little I've actually accomplished. As I approach the tender age of 42, it's becoming increasingly clear that I'll probably never attain any of the things I wished to do with my life.

That's doesn't mean I've given up, I still hope to one day write a book or two, screenplays and even get a tv show on air. I'm just being more realistic about my chances.

I'm facing facts, which is something I always aspire to do. The fact is, if I haven't done any of these things by now, chances are I never will. Sad I know, but honest, brutally honest. In my favour is my deep desire to still do these things.

My mother used to say, "wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills up first". My mom is smart.

Most people, grow up and give up on their dreams. That's why the world is full of so many accountants and lawyers and the like. We can't all be cowboys, or astronauts or novelists and film-makers, can we?

Maybe I haven't grown up. No maybe about it, I still believe in the infinite possibilities that every day brings. Does that make me immature?

Just because the odds of me doing anything significant with my life drops with each passing day, doesn't mean it will never happen. It just becomes increasingly unlikely.

I've never been one to worry about odds. The longer the long shot, the more I think it might happen. I'm ass-backwards though, what do I know?

I've said it before, I lack discipline. Working on this blog for around 9 months has shown me that I can be disciplined. I can actually work on something consistently and that is encouraging. Maybe all is not lost.

This year has been for the most part, quite shitty for me. I'm talking about all the horrible family stuff I've been through. My father's illness and death, my younger brother's illness and estrangement, and my mother's horrible existence have all had a profound effect on me this year.

Everyone goes through rough patches, no one's life is perfect. And if you think your life is perfect, please keep it to yourself!

I think the holidays are bringing a lot of this out in me. The last xmas I spent with my parents was around 13 years ago. I can wish that I visited more, xmas and otherwise, but I didn't.

I'm sorry I wasn't able to see my Dad before he died, but I couldn't have faced it. Even now, with the benefit of hindsight, I can see that not going was my only course of action. I'm a shitful son.

And just in case I haven't confirmed my status as a "shit son", I'll have the chance to disappoint my mother by not visiting her either.

Ya see, that's the problem, life is not really a Hallmark Greeting Card. Life is a series of painful moments of self-discovery and disappointment and no one makes a greeting card for those occasions.

On the plus side, I probably don't even really exist. None of us do.

I watched a documentary earlier this evening on Channel Four, about physics and cosmology. Honestly, it was more interesting than it sounds. They floated a theory which I've encountered before and I will try to explain to you now, in very simple, hippy terms that will hopefully be easy to follow.

There's a theory regarding existence known as the multiverse which postulates that our universe is not the only one and there are actually an infinite number of universes in existence, all with different rules governing them. Some of these universes would have life as complex and intelligent as humans, some even more so.

Suppose in one of these universes they constructed a computer that was so sophisticated that it could run a simulation large enough to contain a universe as big and complex as our own. The "lifeforms" generated by this simulation would not be aware they were constructed and their surroundings would be as "real" as our own.

In other words, we have no real way of knowing whether or not we are really "real". We might be generated beings living in someone else's constructed reality and not even know it.

I hope this makes sense. I realise I'm distilling someone else's PhD thesis into 3 trite little paragraphs in my blog.

I draw a sort of twisted relief from this hypothesis, since if I don't really exist beyond a simulation in someone else's computer program, perhaps I'm not such a failure after all. It's all in the programming and someone coded me badly.

And on that note, I'll leave you to ponder the meaning of the universe and your own existence. I hope your experience is just as rewarding as mine.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm bored, tired and at work. So what else is new?

Not a goddamn thing, actually. I'd rather be at home, sleeping. In about 6 hours, that's where I'm aiming to be. I'm feeling a bit miserable, if you must know. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, I am really feeling low.

I'm working 8 nights out of the next eleven, including this one, so the fun will only get better as the week progresses. Traditionally, December is a dull month for international excitment and this year is no exception. I'm not complaining.

I should have brought some spliff with me, but it's freezing outside and raining as well, so it wouldn't have actually done me any good if I did anyway. There's a slight chance that it could all turn to sleet, ice or snow by morning. It will do just that north of here, but if the rain/snow line falls further south, it could be an interesting journey home here in London.

God, five paragraphs in and I'm already bleating on about the weather! It's December, you stupid fucking hippy, what do you expect?

There's no need to be rude! Fuck that, there's always the need to be rude!

What is my fucking problem tonight? Cheer up you crazy hippy, it could be worse! Could it? Let's not tempt fate by asking that question too loudly.

And on that note, Elvis has left the building. By Elvis, I mean this hippy and by "the building", naturally I mean Blogger. I haven't totally lost what remains of my mind!

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Perhaps I spoke to soon regarding the UK government and the legality of fresh, magic mushrooms.

I caught THIS ARTICLE as well as THIS ONE and a FEW OTHERS this morning while doing my usual rounds of the news sites online. It looks like the Home Office isn't giving up on their dream banning them and increasing the penalties for possession. The fuckers. Even the VOICE OF THE MIRROR disagrees with this move. So does this hippy!

I guess I always knew that the party wouldn't last. It really is a shame, since shrooms are the perfect drug and I've enjoyed them very much, but at some point in the not too distant future, they won't be freely available any more. It sounds like the “grow kits” will also be banned, something I didn't expect. Shit.

So where does that leave the world's favourite northlondonhippy? Can I still claim to be the "most shroomtastic stoner on the internet"? I suppose I could, if I added that I "used to be", but where's the fun or immediacy in that?

Don't worry though, I'll always be the "biggest internet celebrity that no one's ever heard of"; that's a title no one is rushing to take away from me!

I do have an announcement to make regarding this change in the shroom laws. In order for British news outlets to be in a position to properly tell this story in a fair and balanced way, the northlondonhippy would like confirm my media availability to comment on this important issue.

That's right, yours truly has opened the door to any and all media, be it print, online, radio, television or long-form documentary for theatrical release. I'm the hippy who just can't say "no".

So if you need someone knowledgeable, articulate and experienced on the subject of "magic mushrooms", please don't hesitate in contact me. I can be reached on my usual hippy email, which is

Please note that one of my conditions for interview is that my secret internet identity is preserved and my real-life name is never revealed. That's more important now, than ever, with the government getting ready to go after all the other groovy shroomers, which includes me.

See, that's the thing. There's now a big infrastructure in the UK for the growth and importation of fresh shroomies. Will it just go away because the laws have changed or will it go underground?

That would depend upon demand, which at the moment is quite high, though that is probably a result of the openness of the trade. Would that demand continue after a ban? It would for this hippy, but would I be able to find any? I expect with a little effort and a little cash, the answer would be a big fat "yes".

Suppose I give up on shrooms, it could happen. If the expense and hassles of getting them prove to be too much, it is possible I could let go of my favourite natural high. Then what?

I know what a lot of other people are going to do. There going to turn back to substances that will be much easier to score, good old class "A's" like coke, acid and ecstasy. Not me, though. I have given all that shit up for good. Though MDMA powder could prove a temptation, I am determined to remain steadfast in my avoidance of all things chemical.

Well, as I mentioned recently, there is Ayahuasca, the brew made from a mixture of Amazonian plants favoured by Brazilian medicine men. It would require lots of research, is suppose to taste foul and make you barf, but supposedly causes the most amazing visions. Is it more dangerous than shrooms, which are very safe? Possibly, because it is stronger, but I would do my homework, like I did with shrooms, before experimenting with this.

There's always that other well known psychedelic mushroom, the FLY AGARIC, which is currently legal in the UK. You'll recognize them, with their red colour with spots. They are thought to be poisonous, but drying them at a certain temperature converts the poison into the active ingredient and they come already dried and prepared for use, so the risks are minimal. I've not thought about trying any until now.

See Mister Government Man, you are pushing me into other drugs already! Damn you and your dumb ideas!

There are loads of pschyoactive herbs and plants for me to experiment with instead of shrooms. I just wish I didn't need to. I've never had a bad time with shrooms, they have been nothing but great fun for me.

And if I can be briefly serious, if I'm not able to shroom, I won't be able to commune with my mushroom god. I wonder if this is something I could pursue in court. I'm not joking. It has become my personal religion and without shrooms, I won't be able to practice it. Perhaps this is the one issue I've ever encountered that would inspire me to take a stand. Should I really try to fight this? Would I even stand a chance?

I bet the European Court of Human Rights would take this seriously, if I could find a lawyer to fight it for me, pro-bono. How about Bono himself, he likes fight for lost causes? Bet he digs shrooms!

I'm trying to be serious here!

When you take enough magic mushrooms, you do enter another world, a different dimension, where the mushroom god shows you the secret stuff that lurks beneath the surface of everything. This is about as spiritual as this heathen hippy gets here, isn't religious freedom a basic human right?. Doing this is good for my mental and spiritual health, don't you want this hippy to remain sane?

You call yourself sane, you crazy hippy! You really are on drugs. Just not enough of them.

Friday, December 17, 2004

I see England, I see France, I see your goddamn underpants. So tuck them in and don't be so disgusting....

Sorry, I'm tired, I was up early after a night of too little sleep. There's just not enough time in the day and not enough days in the week. Yawn. I still should have a better opening.

As if the middle bit is going to be any better.

I've not done very much today, aside from some work-related business for a few hours this morning.

Oh, I know, I spoke to my mother earlier. That's something. She sounded OK. She talked about coming to visit me here in fabulous north London, once she can walk again.

Come again?

I know I heard her correctly, I'm just not sure if she is deluding herself into thinking she could make such a long journey. I doubt she would be up to it and she could never get travel insurance with her current state of health. What if she needed medical treatment? And she'd need to bring her live-in home-helper with her, as well, that wouldn't be cheap. None of it would be cheap, since the dollar is so worthless at the moment and that's the currency she'd be spending.

She said she wanted to stay with me! I'd love it to be possible, but I can't see her being able to do it. She'd never be able to negotiate the stairs in my lair.

I'm not being negative, just realistic. Maybe she's losing her marbles. I just can't see this being a genuine possibility.

Oh god it's just all so fucking depressing.

I hear those sleigh bells ringing and people singing ho ho....

I've actually been thinking that I should write something special for xmas. You know, some sort of hippy plea for world peace, something uplifting, a message of hope for one and all.

But then I thought, fuck that shit, man. Life sucks and drugs really are the answer.

See, I saved it all up for that killer finish!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Don't let it be said I don't keep my promises because looky here motherfucker, I'm back. And I'm a real hep cat, daddy-o. Dig it.

The gas-man was early, which was good for this hippy. I managed to get up to my local high street for a spot of shopping and errand running. I also did some laundry, changed the bedding, hoovered and did the washing-up. I rock.

Another one of my net orders arrived today, just like I was hoping. This delivery consisted of 2 different forms of the same thing, something called Kanna (Sceletium tortuosum). I got ordered one gram of the 25x Kanna extract as well as Kanna Lollies. I tried a lolly today and it definitely had a mild effect, I reckon the extract will be stronger, perhaps I'll try that tonight.

Remember, I've also got the Kratom capsules, the Happy Cap Lounge-E's, and a pile of shrooms as well. Oh and don't forget the spliff too. Recreational drugs aren't just for xmas you know, they're for life! Just like this hippy!

The site I've ordered the Kanna from is quite an interesting one, it's called Deva Ethnobotanicals and they stock some unusual herbs and natural highs. Shaman and various tribes around the world use many of them for rituals and such. I'm quite interested in exploring Ayahuasca, which can be made from various combinations of ingredients. I need to do a bit more research before delving into it, as it seems like some real serious stuff. When the time is right and I'm ready, I'll give it a go.

How can anyone say drugs are wrong when they just feel so goddamn right! That could be the kanna talking, as it acts as a mood elevator. It's also supposed to feel euphoric, but I wouldn't go that far in describing the effects of the lollypop I had. I'm sure the extract will be stronger. Also, it seemed to combine nicely with some weed. I'm feeling very mellow.

I've got one more delivery that I'm expecting, which mostly consists of xmas presents for Mrs. Hippy. Shhhhhhh! I can't say what they are, because occasionally she likes to read this blog. She says it's the only way she can keep up with what's happening in my wild and crazy, fast paced world. I added the wild'n'crazy part myself!

For me, coming back and reading my blog is the only way I can remember what I've gotten up to. I have no memory of anything before last March, when I started this blog. I'm like a goldfish, only not as small and without gills.

Do your funky dance in your funky pants! Dig it fuckers!
It's like this: I've been awake since 7am. I'm waiting for the gas-man to visit and service my central heating. That happens once a year, much like xmas only with less gifts. I hope he comes soon, since I've got a few things I'd like to do outside the house today. If they don't happen today, I'm a bit stuffed until next week.

One of my deliveries arrived, from RedEyeFrog, so I'm impressed with their service already. Besides a heaping pile of Colombia p.cubes (first time I'll be trying this strain, perhaps early next week) I ordered a couple of other interesting things.

I've got some kratom to try finally. Recall I mentioned trying this interesting substance a while ago, well I finally scored myself some. Specifically, I ordered the second item on THIS PAGE, which are capsules filled with powdered kratom. I don't know when I'll try them, but sometime soon I hope.

The other item I ordered from this website is on THIS PAGE and called "Happy Caps - Lounge E". They are the third choice down from the top and they contain "...wild lettuce, griffonia extract, passion flower, schizandra, damiana and valerian". I've had valerian before and it is very relaxing, it's what valium is based upon. Wild Lettuce is suppose to be quite pleasant as well and overall I think the ingredients should provide for an enjoyable experience.

I'll provide hippy-reviews of both substances once I've tried them out. It pays to keep an open mind to new things. This is how I discovered fresh and legal magic mushrooms, I stumbled upon them on a website. If it weren’t for shrooms, there would be no northlondonhippy, so put that in your pipe and smoke it!

The downside to waiting for the gas-man is that I can't really chain smoke spliffs while I'm waiting. Yes, I know it's 9am, but that's the best time of the day to get high! The first spliff of the morning is always the best one of the day. I suppose I could go upstairs and have one in the bedroom with the door closed, but that's too much like being a kid again, living in my parents' house. It wouldn't be the same without incense burning and a high degree of paranoia anyway. I'm sure the gas-man could care less if I'm stoned, but there's no need to be blatant about it. Maybe he'd even join me for a few puffs, but not until he's done fixing the boiler!

Don't worry, I'm not going to get the gas-man stoned today. It might be almost xmas, but I'm not feeling that generous at all. I just want him to get here soon, do what he's got to do and go, thus freeing me up for my errands and perhaps, if it is early enough, I could even try some of my new legal highs.

Though perhaps not, since tomorrow I've got to make a rare dayside appearance at work. It's only for a few hours and I'm being paid for my time, I just need to be up early again. Then on Saturday night, I'm back there properly for 3 nights.

At the moment, I don't feel like I have time for anything, like running errands, partying, sleeping, you name it. There are not enough hours in the day, nor enough days in the week to do all of the things I want to do. I've all but given up in hoping to find a car anytime soon. I'll probably have to wait until next month to do the biz. It's a bit shit since I could really do with having a car this month, it would have been really useful for work.

Anyway, I might drop back here again later, if I can find some more elusive spare time. Betcha just can't wait!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

I am sooooo tired. Still. Again. It seems like I'm always tired these days. I'm getting old. I feel like I've aged dramatically in the last few months. I wonder if I look like it?

Hey, score one for us drug users! The judge hearing the magic mushroom case (as mentioned by this hippy in my previous 2 entries)appears to have thrown it out of court. You can read the Guardian's take on the subject RIGHT HERE.

This is good news, though my interpretation is that parliament may now be forced to clarify the law. That could be bad news, since we all know what the lawmakers will decide already, to ban them outright. This is just my guess.

My joke about the UK government is this: When the roof leaks, they don't try to patch it. They just ban the rain. That's there approach to all of societies ills, rather than approach a problem sensibly, they just try to ban it.

At least they'll continue to sell fresh shrooms legally here in the UK which means the party can keep going for a little while longer. I'll enjoy 'em for as long as I can.

I've had no reply to my letter to the Guardian. I expect they've already placed it in their "nutter" file, which is a shame, because a weekly hippy column would be a great addition to their excellent newspaper. And I'd work cheap, so they don't know what they're missing!

When I get home tomorrow morning, I'll be placing an order for some with a website I've not tried before. It's called RED EYE FROG and they stock a wide variety of shroom strains. I've heard good things about the Colombians, so I'll probably give them a go. I'll opt for the overnight delivery, since I'll be trapped at home on Thursday, awaiting the gas man, who is coming to do the annual service on my central heating.

What a glamorous life you need Herr Hippy!

There are a few other things I'll need to order from the net as well, so Thursday is my day to be stuck at home. On Friday I have some work-related business to attend to in the morning, then on Friday night, I'm avoiding yet another xmas party. Come Saturday night, well, I'm back at work.

Just about every minute of the next few days is already accounted for, I don't know how I'm going to find the time to look for or buy a car! All I really want to be doing is sleeping.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I'm still awake, I shouldn't be. It's just gone noon.

I'm a crazy hippy, what can I tell you. I'll be getting out of bed in 5 hours. No yippppeeeee for that, I can assure you, my friend.

My reason for still being awake? I've been writing a letter to the Guardian newspaper with my thoughts to their article published today about MAGIC MUSHROOMS.

Well, it started out as a letter, but it's actually quite long. I sent it anyway. Since there's probably no chance they'll actually print it, I'll share it with you here and now.
Dear Guardian Editor,

I'm writing in response to an article which appeared in Tuesday's (14/12/04) G2 section about "magic mushrooms", written by Stephen Moss.

As the "most shroomtastic stoner on the internet" and staunch advocate of natural legal highs, I’m also the internet celebrity that no-one’s ever heard of, but that’s an entirely different subject.

The subject of the article, the government’s changing stance on the legality of selling fresh magic mushrooms, quite simply, appalled me

I, of course, praise the article for highlighting inconsistencies in the government's current approach to magic mushrooms and the law. It's even sillier than this government's approach to cannabis, which should naturally be as legal and controlled as fags and beer. Oh and don’t forget taxed!

I discovered fresh, legal magic mushrooms about 18 months ago and have been a regular shroomer ever since. I don’t think my vocabulary can stretch far enough to explain just how much I enjoy them. They have become my favourite drug of choice and I really hope the government can please find something else to muck around with instead of shrooms. Please note, I said “please”.

People have enjoyed magic mushrooms for thousands of years. Shrooms are a naturally occurring fungus, which can be found all around the planet.

Here in the UK, the most common strain is the liberty cap, which grows quite prodigiously in the wild. If the government wishes to ban all magic mushrooms, I would suggest they have a word with God since s/he is the one who spread this most common type all over open fields in the UK.

When potential traders decided to test the UK laws regarding the sale of fresh magic mushrooms, they wrote to the Home Office seeking clarification. They were advised (in a letter, which most shroom-sellers display, on their stalls or websites) that as long as the magic mushrooms were not processed or dried and were sold in their natural state, no laws were being broken. From this a new industry was born.

I thought New Labour was all about encouraging emerging entrepreneurial endeavors? It’s not just the magic mushrooms but business they don’t want to grow.

Magic mushrooms are easily the best drug I've ever enjoyed and I've experimented with nearly everything at one time or another. And compared to alcohol…well there is no comparison. Shrooms have the edge in my opinion.

As your article suggests, they have become extremely popular with decent, respectable people, just like me. I'm a "media professional" working full time and paying my taxes. I just happen to enjoy recreational drugs, a lot.

The come-up from shrooms is smooth, the trip is fantastically enjoyable and there is no comedown or hangover whatsoever. I see shrooms as nearly the perfect drug. Screw coke, LSD and ecstasy, shrooms are much more fun!

The effects of magic mushrooms vary with the dose, the more you take, the more you feel.

Smaller doses can cause giddiness and laughter; in larger quantities, the effects are stronger. Your senses are heightened; your hearing and eyesight can become sharper. You’ll notice details in music and visual patterns you’ve never noticed before. Objects may appear to subtly move or breathe, but since you are aware this can happen, it should not cause you any alarm. Actually, it’s quite enchanting.

You won’t see fire-breathing dragons or other apparitions, at least I never have. It would be an interesting change if I ever did though. A hippy can but hope.

Hallucinations from shrooms aren’t like they are in the cinema, but it doesn’t mean you can’t have a bad trip. Drugs are about set and setting, your expectations and your surroundings play a huge part in your enjoyment of any drug. If you make sure you are in a good mood already and choose a place where you feel safe and secure, you can keep any possible anxieties to a minimum. It’s all common sense really.

To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever died from consuming magic mushrooms. If you have any proof otherwise, I would be interested to see it.

Your article quotes Professor John Henry, an expert in toxicology at Imperial College and St Mary's Hospital, London who states that “They clearly cause hallucinations.” May I just say in reply to that keen observation, “well duh!”. No one would ever eat them for the taste, yuck! Of course they cause you to trip, that’s their purpose and they do it very well.

People take all recreational drugs to feel differently and enjoy an altered state of consciousness. I would suggest that this is a natural craving.

Think about this: When you were a child, did you ever spin around in circles to make yourself dizzy? When you collapsed on the ground, did it feel like the world was swirling around you? Guess what? You were putting yourself into an altered state of consciousness! It was your first ever “high” and you didn’t even realise it.

Professor Henry then goes on to remark that “people suffering hallucinations (can be) killed in accidents.” I won’t argue with that, but accidents can happen even when you’re sober.

And if you want a discussion about drugs and accidents, might I suggest the good professor look at the relationship between alcohol and accidental deaths. I think he might find that the statistics for alcohol related deaths would tower over the few fatalities he believes were caused by magic mushrooms. Perhaps the professor could provide a footnote or two, as to his source for these accidental shroom-related deaths.

Anyone experimenting with shrooms should be healthy in body as well as mind, but then that is true of any drug. I wouldn't advocate someone with mental health problems trying magic mushrooms, but then I wouldn't suggest they take-up the crack pipe or heavy drinking either. If you suffer from any sort of mental illness, recreational drugs are definitely a bad idea.

Magic mushrooms can make you feel a bit nauseous, but so can drinking too much. If you eat magic mushrooms on an empty stomach, you can easily minimize or avoid this. What they can't do is make you "crazy", unless you had a tendency towards madness already. If you’re normally sane, you’ll still be sane after your trip.

Anyone considering experimentation should do a bit of homework. The internet has countless resources available for the enquiring mind. Might I suggest or this very objective page from the government’s suprisingly honest “Ask Frank” website, specifically about magic mushrooms. Here’s the link:

The “Ask Frank” website is rare a example of when the government can get it right about drugs, on a whole it is quite balanced. The laws should be so lucky…we should be so lucky!

I do applaud the comments in the article made by the honourable Paul Flynn, New Labour MP for Newport West, who it seems would welcome a more sensible stance on magic mushrooms. His views demonstrate that he appears informed and open minded on the subject, rare qualities that should be nurtured in any MP.

Memo to Mr. Flynn: You’re in the wrong party! You are making too much sense. If I were you, I’d give Charlie Kennedy a call. The Lib Dems are on the up and you sound like you’d be a welcome addition to their growing opposition. Just a thought for you to consider!

I find it laughable that this government has decided to now try to change the interpretation of the law regarding magic mushrooms when there is another, more widely abused drug causing this nation far more trouble.

The drug I'm thinking of is at the root of many problems ranging from health issues to public disorder and violence. Yes, you guessed it, I am referring to alcohol.

Alcohol is by far one of the worst drugs that people abuse. It is responsible for more accidents, fights, poor health, decreased productivity in the workplace and loss of life, than any other drug. It also keeps hospital A&E's very busy every Friday and Saturday night. Just visit any town centre, any weekend, anywhere in Britain at chucking out time and you'll see what I mean. It's not a pretty sight.

If I wrote a description of booze, but omitted what I was describing, you would think the drug in question was the worst scourge on society imaginable. But because liquor is socially acceptable and dealt by large corporations, there is no chance it will ever be banned. I’m OK with that, actually since it is as it should be, down to my personal choice.

Oh hang on, didn't the Americans prohibition early in the last century? It didn't work out very well, did it? Unless you think the creation of a proper network of organised criminals is a good thing because that was the main legacy of prohibition. And it’s the gift that keeps on giving since there are entire countries whose economies are totally dependent upon the demand for illegal substances. These days they’ve gone global and “the mafia” is a proper multinational now.

Go on, we could have a real giggle and call for a ban on alcohol. It’s not like we couldn’t justify it, we could just use the same reasons they use now for illegal drugs. Change every reference from coke or weed to booze and the campaign would just write itself. I bet would be civil unrest, no wait, open warfare on the streets in no time. Let the fun begin!

I would love to see the government come up with a practical policy for harm reduction on alcohol before they start telling anyone what drugs they can and can't consume, especially my beloved, all natural, magic mushrooms. Based on the effects of consumption of both booze and shrooms in the UK, it’s pretty clear which one statistically causes more problems, isn’t it? How about we put more time and resources into combating the ills of alcohol abuse. It would make for a more pleasant nation.

At the moment, the market for magic mushrooms is quite big, demand is high and shroomers aren't hurting anyone. If the government is successful and stops the legal trade in shrooms, the demand will not disappear, it will just be driven underground. Once that happens, you can say goodbye to quality control. It will only be a matter of time before some unscrupulous dealer sells someone poison (instead of) mushrooms and we have our first real death.

All drugs should be legal, not just booze and cigarettes. It should be up to an individual what substances they can consume, not the state. I’m an adult, I don’t need a nanny.

Booze and fags are legal and will stay that way thanks to the powerful corporations who manufacture and distribute them. Other drugs should be given the same consideration. The government could accomplish more good through harm-reduction than prohibition.

Look at it this way, if crack were legal and cost the same as it does where it’s made in Colombia, it would be just pennies a day to keep an addict supplied. The price difference is down to the transport, delivery and associated risks of bringing the stuff into the UK. If it was suddenly cheap, there would be less burglary and your car stereo would never get nicked. To me, that would be a good thing.

Drugs are illegal and people still take them, the law doesn’t seem to be a deterrent. According to recently published surveys, drug usage in the UK has never been higher. We take them anyway, so isn’t it time we tried a different approach?

Look, fresh magic mushrooms are grown domestically or imported from within the European Union - the Netherlands is the main overseas supplier. I would think this government would wish to encourage an emerging market for natural produce that brings in VAT for the Chancellor. But again, this demonstrates the confusion in Whitehall. While they are trying to stop the sale of shrooms, they are still going to stick VAT on them until they do.

Aren't there bigger problems in the world than a few thousand people taking some magic mushrooms at the weekends? The government must think it is a "button issue" with Middle Britain, who quite frankly probably wouldn't have a clue about magic mushrooms.

We need to include cigarettes and alcohol into any conversation regarding recreational drugs, simply because they are the only legal ones. Like recreational drugs that are illegal, fags and booze can be bad for the individual and society, yet we tolerate them. We also, to an extent, try to moderate the problems associated with this legal duo. We need to take the same approach to other recreational substances.

The only way to accomplish this is get people to understand that fags and liquor are drugs, which would open their minds to the possibility that the law could treat other drugs the same way. Here’s hoping!

Oh and to any Home Office staff that might be reading this, PLEASE MISTER GOVERNMENT MAN, DON’T PISS ALL OVER MY PARTY! Perhaps you should just get yourself 30 grams of Mexican Psilocybe Cubensis and see why we’re all putting the FUN in FUNgus every weekend instead!

Best regards,
- the northlondonhippy
So there you go, perhaps I'll get lucky this time. I think I say some interesting things and a clever sub-editor could easily polish that into a fairly interesting essay. Let's wait and see!

I'm off to the dreamland of the hippy, where all the drugs are legal and I'm a lot taller. Maybe I'll see *you* there too. Bye
It sounds like the British government might be poised to start pissing all over our party. According to a report in Tuesday's edition of the Guardian newspaper, the authorities are getting ready to go after people who sell my favourite drug, fresh magic mushrooms. Oh no. Oh shit. The fuckers.

Wanna read it for yourself? This hippy can help, if you would be so kind as to put a well aimed "click" right HERE.

It would seem to me, that much like their policy on the sale of shrooms, this recent development appears to be poorly organised and ill-conceived. While the Home Office talks a good game and probably wants to rid the world of these funny fungi, they also slap a charge of 17.5% VAT on them. Can you sense the nonsense in this approach?

You can't have it both ways, fuckers! Either tax 'em and sell 'em (like they should do with all drugs, even the scary ones) or ban 'em. One or the other please.

But where does this leave your favourite hippy from north London and is current drug of choice? According to the Guardian article, the coppers in London aren't bothered by shroom stalls in the markets. Makes sense, since they have bigger fish to fry, like knife crime, gun crime and the quest for freshly fried donuts! Also, I'm guessing that the internet-based shroom suppliers will be low on the list to shut down. I should be OK for a while.

Plus, I still have the knowledge and skills to grow my own with a kit and if I was really pushed, I could probably even sort out how to do it from scratch with sporeprints. I'm cool no matter what.

I was planning on ordering some fresh shrooms this week anyway, maybe I should get loads!

Speaking of orders, I placed one with Amazon on Monday for a few xmas gifts for Mrs. Hippy. No, I am not going to tell you what I bought her. The package should arrive in the next week or so. I may pick her up a couple more small things as well.

I had plans to write about something else tonight, but the Guardian article has distracted me from that. I think it might be time for the northlondonhippy to finally write a "letter to the editor" rebutting this shroom-ban nonsense. I wonder if they'll print it? They will have to, since I am the self-proclaimed "most shroomtastic stoner" on the internet. Keep watching this space.

Monday, December 13, 2004

I'm soooooooooooo tired. Hardly suprising since I've been awake for 17 hours already. I've got four more hours to go here and then around another hour to get home. By the time I reach my bed, it will be 10am and I will have been up for nearly 24 hours.

I'm getting too old for this shit, man. No wonder I keep falling asleep on the sofa before 11pm every night I'm off. Yawn.........

It's ok, I will survive, I always do.

Had an email from my younger (now estranged) brother, my first proper communication from him since the end of June. He was only writing to pass on a message from my mother, who sounded quite upset. Near as I can tell, my mother's part-time home-helpers mother died. Also there seems to be some problem with money, which didn't really make sense based upon the little I know about her financial picture. Mainly, my older half-brother hadn't been to see her in a couple of weeks, and somehow this factors into the drama as well.

My brother only wrote me at my mother's insistence. I'm not really sure what she was hoping I could about it, considering I am 3,000 miles away and not exactly wealthy myself. All his email did was upset me and make me feel even more useless.

I'm not really even in a position to phone her until Weds or Thurs. I don't know what to do. Wait, yes I do, I'm going to do nothing, since it is my specialty. I'm a shit son, but that's hardly urgent breaking news, is it?

This is just another in a long line of really dull hippyposts. Maybe its the cumulative fatigue I'm feeling or perhaps I've run out of interesting things to write about. I need to raise the bar again.

All this was more fun when I was a bit manic and pursuing world-wide-web domination. I'm still the biggest internet celebrity that no-one's every heard of, aren't I?

Sunday, December 12, 2004

There's only one place on the net where you can come for a little hippy-action and that's right here! The northlondonhippy is at your service. Please place your orders early to avoid disappointment for xmas.

Xmas, yuck. It's now less than 2 weeks away. Have you done your xmas shopping? I haven't, but I'm going to try to do it this week. I won't be mentioning my purchases for Mrs. Hippy here, since she occasionally partakes of the blog.

I'm only sending my mother a card. I've made her promise not to send me anything as well. There's really no point, she should save her money. And I wouldn't have a clue what to send her either. I am really hating xmas this year.

It's the first one without my dad, which I know is going to be very hard on my mother, but there's nothing I can do to make it any easier.

My way of making xmas easier for me is to work right through it. Wanna avoid xmas, get a job somewhere where xmas is just another day. Or move to a non-Christian country, which could even be a better bet.

Sorry kids, but Santa's not visiting the hippy this year. He doesn't care if I've been bad or good, he's just not coming.

Ho fucking ho, talk about a dose of xmas cheer!

I'm just cranky because I've been up since this morning and I'm doing at work in 3 hours. I am already feeling tired. I haven't stayed up late at all while I've been off this week. I always seem to be tired these days. I'll make it through tonight though, I'll have to and coffee is going to the answer, regardless of the question. I'm sail through on a caffeine buzz of enormous proportions.

Anyway, no time to sit here and spout my special brand of, well you know, drivel all night, I need to shower, shave, shit and have my first cup of hippycoffee. Maybe I'll catch you later, but then again, maybe I won't.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

No car for you hippy! That's 2 days running. The privately held one I phoned up on had already been sold. So it goes. But there is hope, I've found another dealer who has several in stock right now, the catch is that it's a few miles from here and not reachable via public transport. I don't think I'll have to time visit it anytime soon.

I haven't given up hope, somewhere in the north London area, there is moderately priced Polo waiting to become the new hippymobile. I just need to find it.

Hey! Are you in north London? Do you have a VW Polo, 5 door, 1.4 litre, petrol powered in a reasonable colour? Would you like to sell it to the hippy? Go on, get in touch! You know it makes sense!

Otherwise, I'm having a very lazy ol' day today. Been up for hours, 5 to be precise. Other than a bit of laundry business and a shower, I've not been up to much. I'm in the middle of whipping up a spot of lunch while I type my special brand of drivel.

I'll spare you the menu du jour, but once my lunch is ready, I'm going park myself on the sofa in front of the tv and enjoy it while watching something. I don't know what yet, but there's bound to be something on.

My December work merry-go-round properly gets underway tomorrow night. I won't have much time to anything, so I'm planning a major internet shopping spree on Monday morning, for delivery later in the week. Besides a few xmas gifts for Mrs. Hippy, I'm going to be ordering some hippy supplies, which means blunt wrappers, fancy rolling papers and a heap of fresh shrooms!

I'll still keep an eye out for a car, but with my limit time and weird hours, it's unlikely I'll be scoring one anytime soon. Never say never, as they say, whoever they are. They should mind their own fucking business.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Yo fuckers! God I love shrooms!

I had a fantastic little trip today, best one I've had in ages. It was like rediscovering psilocybin. Are your trips like that sometimes?

What am I talking about? You don't shroom, that's what you've got me for...remember I'm living that hippy life so you don't have to!

I took around 60 grams of the little suckers and wolfed them down. As you do, when you have 60 grams just lying around waiting to be used. I was starting to think they were duds, when suddenly they kicked in like a motherfucker. It was shroomtastic!

I lost myself in music videos for quite a while and even had a chance to play with my Laserpod once it got dark enough. It was completely enjoyable and I don't know why I don't do it much more often! I love shroomin' I do...

I've come down since then and I know I promised to blog while shroomed, I was just enjoying myself way too much to get involved with all that shit man. Maybe next time.

I haven't given up the hunt for a car, actually I'm planning on renewing my quest with even more determination! There's another one I've had my eye on, here's a private sale, so I could be onto a winner. It's a dark blue Polo, which is cool, with lots of extras, low mileage and an attractive price that says "buy me". I'll phone that careful woman driver tomorrow and see if she wants to do a deal with the hippy.

Except, I won't tell her I'm the northlondonhippy. Why would I? I'm the internet celebrity that no-one's ever heard's not going to get me a discount.
Hey hippy! No car for you today!


So I got up this morning, prepared to implement my action plan and only made it as far as phoning the dealer. No, it wasn't already sold. Worse, the car guy was a twat, he started out by telling me the listing on his website for the car was wrong and it lacked some of the equipment mentioned. Most notably the power steering, which is a must for city driving, or rather parking. He then said he'd had a couple of other calls on the car already, which really didn't matter. Put it this way, he was not welcoming at all. He even said he had no other cars like it in stock. So much for being encouraged spending my money.

The previous hippymobile, which I tried to give away to promote this very blog, did NOT have power steering. It was no fun to drive at low speeds and especially to park. It was a big heavy car as well. A Polo without power steering wouldn't be as bad, but I promised myself my next car would have it, dammit!

I've been following the ads for a couple of weeks now and there's nothing else similarly available in my area in my price range. I'm shit outta luck today, the day I was to buy a car. Perhaps next week I might have another chance. Here's hoping, but I can't imagine December is a great month for buying and selling used cars what with xmas and all. Everyone's shopping for tat, not cars! Except me, of course.

So all my cunning plans for today are now shot to shit, but like a stoned phoenix, rising from the ashes of my failure and disappointment, I live to soar high again. Ok, the only ashes around here are from the spliff I'm puffing on, but I'm thinking today may be turning into an excellent day for communing with my mushroom god.

I've got practical stuff I could be doing, but that's always true. Perhaps I should leap at the chance to shroom my socks off. I'm got the time, the place and the shrooms, what the fuck am I waiting for?

Oh shit, that party tonight. If I shroom, there's no chance in hell I'm going to want to go out and get pissed tonight. But let's face the cold hard realities here hippy, you really didn't want to go to this party.

In truth, a week or so ago when I was invited, it seemed like a great idea. But as the date has approached, I've been less and less inclined to attend. The old anti-social qualities are coming out again. I do mean well, I really do, but the idea of making wanky small talk with a bunch of (nice, normalish, decent) people doesn't really appeal to me tonight. I think my mind is made up, I'll worry about the details later. A text to a mate of mine with a suitably convincing excuse (something's suddenly come up springs to mind) and I should be off the hook.

Ok, it's 11:20am hippytime. Assuming I can sort out a few key, simple things around the house, I'll be ingesting a boatload of shrooms within the next hour. It's time to implement a new action plan for today! Yipppppeeee for the hippy and yippppeeee for my mushroom god!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

I'm still awake and it's nearly 5pm. It's amazing what a little coffee and determination can do for you.

I think I've located a car and if the gods are smiling on me tomorrow morning I will go out and make it mine. A local dealer has a Polo that fits my requirements, 5 speed, 5-door with a 1.4 litre engine at the right price. The colour is not ideal, it's also green, but a much darker shade than the other one I mentioned. It will do.

My cunning plan is to head over there tomorrow morning when they open. I will inspect the car carefully, I will even test drive it. If I'm digging the car, I will buy it then and there. Well, if they take VISA I will, otherwise I'll need to go to my bank and get a draught or cash or something. My bank is not far from the car dealer, so it's not a problem.

The car's been independently inspected and comes with a one-year parts and labour guarantee. How cool is that!

The only thing I'll need to do is change the stereo to something a bit fancier than a radio/cassette player. I want RDS and a CD player that will handle MP3s and there are bargains to be had on them at the moment as well. They'll even install it for ya, which is good if you are useless with stuff like that as I am.

This hippy knows a good deal when he sees one. I'll be back on four wheels from tomorrow. Groovy.

I’m still not sure about the party tomorrow night. I'm sure I should go, but since when do I do anything I should? How about nearly never? Wow, I used italics.

I'm already concocting clever excuses for my non-attendance, just in case. They're not that clever really, I might just tell them the dog ate it. It's an oldie but a goody, much like me.

Ok, I think I'm in a slightly better mood, it's probably just temporary psychosis from the lack of sleep. I'm aiming for another 6 hours of consciousness, if the giant squirrel sitting here would stop talking. Don't you hate it when they drop by unannounced with nothing but a coffeecake and long boring stories about gathering nuts for the winter?

I think having an action plan regarding the car tomorrow is making me feel better as well. I can drive a dark green car, after all, it's the colour of my favourite substance.

I'm talking about weed, naturally. If you've read anything this hippy's written, you should be aware of my long love affair with marijuana. I suppose there's some sense in a hippy driving a green car. I can pretend it's environmentally friendly. Like walking.

At least it's not an SUV. Mrs. Hippy says she wouldn't even let me have one if I wanted an SUV. Luckily I don't, so don't worry. They are silly vehicles to have in cities, driven by fools. That's why I'm going for something small and non-petrol guzzling. It's the right car at the right time. I can drive to work next week.

Gosh, I think I might even be feeling up to a little yipppppeeee. But only a small one, please. You wouldn't want to overwhelm me, I haven't actually purchased the car yet!
Guess where I am...go on, have a guess. Go on, go on...

Yep, you'd be right, as foreshadowed earlier, I'm making an unscheduled guest appearance at work. Yawn. I shouldn't complain, but here I am complaining anyway. I could have done without working tonight, but it's money in the bank, which is never a bad thing. At least it's a one-off...until Sunday anyway.

January is still looking light for me, but hopefully it will pick up before too long. December is too busy.

I'm still agonizing over whether or not to go to the xmas party I've been invited to on Friday night. It's nowhere near my north London lair, which is one of the many things putting me off the idea of going. If I was smart, I'd blow out the party and spend the day shroomed to the eyeballs instead. That would do me more good than any party ever could. We'll see.

Perhaps I should be more social, especially as it's the very first work-related event I can attend since I started here last Spring. Actually, it's the only event I'm free to attend. Well, I take that back, there's another one next week, and I could attend, but it would be big and corporate and not this hippy's scene so I've elected not to even consider this one. Smart move.

I'm more concerned with the party on Friday night since it's at someone's home. No, I don't think my attendance will make or break the party, but I get so few invites and accept even fewer that I feel I should make the effort. The problem is that it is feeling more like a burden than a party. I know the answer already, I just shouldn't go. I suppose I'll ring them sometime on Friday with some sort of lame, yet convincing excuse.

I'm still agonizing over the purchase of a new hippymobile. If I don't score one tomorrow or Friday, then I won't have another chance until January which would be a bummer. What I should do is stroll over to some local car-lots and see what they have in stock for immediate delivery. Buying a cheap-o used car shouldn't be this difficult or stressful. It's not like I'm breaking the bank on some fancy & expensive new car. If I do go for a VW Polo, they hold their value and I could turn around in a year and trade it in or sell it without too much trouble. Fuck it, I've got to buy a car dammit, so I really should bite the bullet and just fucking do it. Tomorrow morning actually! Be decisive hippy and all will be well!

If you haven't been able to surmise from my woefully depressive entries this week, this hippy's not really having the time of his life. C'est la vie.

Like the New Labour Party theme-tune from 1997, "Things Can Only Get Better." Look how well all that worked out for Tony Blair and his friends, I'm sure things will be better for this hippy in no-time.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

I'm still in a pissy mood. I'm over-tired, under-rested and possibly I'll be working the next 2 nights.

I nearly had to go in last night. It's a long story, but basically I was put on the spot in a big way and resisted the pressure. I'm sure they got by without me, no one is indispensable. I might not be able to slip out of it so easily tonight and tomorrow.

I was really looking forward to relaxing this week, sorting out a car and generally taking care of all sorts of little errands and things that I won't have time for once I get busy again. I would say the chances of me staying off for the rest of the week are slim to none. What's worse is I won't know either way for at least a couple of hours. If I need to work, I'd really like to go back to bed as soon as possible, so I am not a complete grump-monster.

I'm really pissed off about the circumstances surrounding all of this, but I'm not going to get into those details here.

I've been awake for hours and hours and hours. I fell asleep before 11pm last night. Maybe I'm coming down with something, perhaps it really is my age catching up to me. My body clock is completely screwy and I am feeling exhausted.

Even if I don't go in tonight, I feel like my week has been ruined. I haven't had a proper break since September. I've worked loads. I know I should be grateful for it, and I am, but I'm over-doing it a bit and working this week is more than I bargained for. I might not have a choice, though frequently choice is just an illusion anyway.

Damn, damn, damn. If I refuse, it will do me no good whatsoever. I'm fucked either way.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

I didn't buy a car yet. I'm having serious second thoughts. Lame I know.

With my modest budget and simple requirements, the choice should be easy. If I trust my instincts, I would think I just haven't come across the right car yet. I haven't even looked at any so far, I've just been following the ads online. My searches have been fairly local.

I was planning on having the AA do a used car inspection on any potential purchase, but the AA have discontinued that service and are recommending some company I've never heard of instead. They don't even have a website, but other companies do. They charge a bloody fortune, the AA used to do it quite cheaply. None of this is going well.

Moan, moan, moan.

I'm just down after speaking to my mother yesterday. It was the longest chat I've had with her in ages. She was reasonably understandable and seemed to be in reasonable spirits. She said her walking has improved, which goes without saying is very good news. She still needs help, but she takes a few steps a couple of times a day. This is big progress.

She told me how lonely she is, which made me feel like a total fucking piece of shit. She wants me to visit. I don't know if I can deal with it. I need to think about it. Bullshit, I need to go see her. I just don't know if I will do it or not.

Enough already.

Don't you have anything good to say hippy? Actually, I don't think I do.

I fell asleep on Monday night at about 10pm, I was up at 7am. Am I getting old? I don't feel old, just tired all the time. I've already been out the big supermarket and now I'm sitting here pissing around about what to do regarding the car. Ho hum.

I've been blowing out xmas parties left and right. I'm suppose to go to one on Friday night, I foolishly said yes to the invite. Now, I'm not so sure I even want to go. Fucking hell, I really am lame.

I've wasted enough of your valuable surfing time.

Monday, December 06, 2004

There was no shrooming on Sunday. There never seems to be any shrooming any more. Some things are more important than shrooming. I'l stop making promises I can't keep.

This is a low-key hippy. I'm mellow and relaxed about everything. I don't need shroom sessions to stay cool, I'm like that naturally. Dig it.

I may ring up about some cars today, though I am not feeling particularly rested. Yawn. Didn't sleep nearly enough, damn weather made me wake up with a stuffed-up nose. I think that's what woke me up. I really need to buy a car this week, because if I don't, I won't have another chance for ages and ages.

When I go back to work, I get really busy, really quickly. I'm doing something like 12 out of 16 or 17 nights, right through till the end of the year. Money, money, money, who loves ya?

So sorting out my new hippymobile is essential in the next few days. I'm ready to move quickly on it and if I get lucky today, could have it parked outside by Weds or Thurs. There are a few VW Polos for sale in my local area, here in fabulous north London.

There's even one really close, I'm talking walking distance. It sounds like exactly what I am looking for, except for the colour, light metallic green. It's not a colour I would choose, but I said I wouldn't let colour be a deal-breaker. I should look at it I suppose, since it's going for the right price.

God, I got so distracted by my car searching and stuff, that I wandered away from the PC and forgot I was in the middle of blogging. I even went and had a shower! How dozy am I today?

I just priced out insurance for my potential new car and discovered there's a bargain to be had with my previous provider. That's worthy of a medium-sized yipppeeee even.

This may work out being a few hundred quid cheaper than I budgeted for, which would be a very good thing!

I've got to visit my local high street soon and run a few boring errands, then I can come back and perhaps phone up and go check out that car. I'm not convinced by the light green colour though, but everything else about the car meets my requirements exactly, so I should keep an open mind.

Maybe catch you on the flipside.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

This hippy is awake already, been up about an hour actually. I wish I could have slept a bit more, but I'll make do with what I've had. I'll have to, I've got no choice.

The above paragraph is all I wrote before heading to the kitchen for a fresh cup of hippycoffee and a blueberry muffin. Clearly I'm back now, though I expect you wouldn't have even noticed my absence.

That's the thing about blogging, the immediacy of it. Very often I write in the present tense. I am right now blah blah blah.

Like right now, I'm sipping my coffee and chomping on my muffin. When you actually read this though, I won't be doing either. I could be doing anything away from my PC.

I've finished the muffin and just lit a cigarette. Coffee and cigarettes go together really well. I wish I didn't enjoy tobacco quite so much. I'm happy to be a staunch advocate of weed and shrooms, but kids, I can't recommend smoking cigarettes! Tobacco is really bad for you, if you don't smoke, don't start. And if you already smoke, you need to quit, me included!

My mother (a former smoker and current stroke survivour) used to have an expression that I've heard a million times. She used to say "Do as I say, not as I do." She used to tell me not to smoke while puffing on a Salem Light, so the irony of me telling you not to smoke while I'm inhaling deeply on one is not lost on me.

I'm tentatively planning on giving up early in the New Year. For real. The NHS offers all sorts of help and support, so this hippy will be checking it out. If you live in the UK, you could take advantage of this as well. If you live elsewhere, well, I don't have a clue who you can turn to, so ask your private doctor if he can recommend something that is right for you. Christ I sound like one of those ads on American TV!

I'll still smoke weed, or rather my plan is to use the vapouriser I bought a while back. I haven't really mentioned it since I bought it, because I tried it once and was not blown over by it. I need to make sure I'm using it correctly.

The idea behind a vapouriser is simple, the good bits in weed burn at a lower temp than the bad bits, like the tar and stuff. A vapouriser heats the weed to the point that the active ingredients turn to vapour, leaving the crap untouched. In theory, it sounds great, maybe I just need to get used to it, since they say it is a different high from smoking it. We'll see.

Back again, this time I went into the kitchen with one of my cats, to give him a little extra food. My cats are spoiled, even if there is food in their bowl, they like me to top it up for them. It's about the attention, more than anything else. They eat dry food, so it's not a problem. I think they like the fact that when they ask me for food, I get up and respond. Sometimes when the bowl is particularly full, I mime adding more and they are just as happy. Cats are cool and I'm cool for cats, just like the Squeeze song.

I've just lit another spliff, my second of the day. I've been awake for nearly 90 minutes. Way-hey...

I love being high. To me, I just feel normal when I'm stoned. I'm a weed addict. I've been one since I was 18 years old. I've smoked just about every day since then. The days I didn't, well, that was only because I couldn't find any, never by choice. These days, I try to make sure I never run out. It's not as easy as it sounds.

If only the UK would adopt more sensible laws regarding cannabis, life would be so much better. Making it class "C" was a big step in the right direction, but it didn't go far enough. You only need to visit the Netherlands to see what I mean.

Ah the Netherlands, Holland to some of you, dope capital of Europe. If you smoke weed, there is no place cooler. You can order a coffee and some weed in a coffeeshop, sit down, sip your coffee and smoke your gear like a normal person! Once you've tasted this concept, seen the sense, experienced the "everydayness" of it, you'll realise just how wrong other countries are with their laws.

I'd like to think that the UK will continue to become more liberal. They even say the Liberal Democrats (the third political party here in the UK, after Blair's New Labour & the Tories) are gaining in popularity. They are the sensible sort that advocates decriminalisation and possible legalisation. They are the gitchiest, vote for them!

The postman just put a bunch of junkmail bollocks through my letterbox. Naturally I could only know that because I went and checked.

Are you enjoying these little asides into my activities?

I'm just sitting here in a robe, it's blue and made of towelly material. I'd like to have a shower, but Mrs. H is still sleeping. She hasn't been feeling very well lately, so its good she's getting the extra rest. My shower probably wouldn't disturb her, but I don't want to take the chance. I'll get clean later.

Mrs. Hippy is planning on visiting relatives tomorrow, so it’s looking good for my overdue shrooming session. Since she doesn’t join me on shroom voyages, I try to spare her the sight of me all twisted up and gurning like a shroom loon. I’ll blog as much of the experience as I can, but if I get the dosage high enough, typing won’t be possible and that’s my true aim!

I'm stiff puffing on my spliff, one of my every day ones, made from a single skin, king-sized red Rizla. It's not a special occasion, so it's not a special spliff. It keeps going out when I put it down to type, but I've got a lighter, so re-igniting it ain't no hardship for this hippy.

The smoke is sweet and pungent, it's filled with a blend of dope with a little tobacco, to make it burn more evenly. I love the way it fills my lungs and my brain. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm good.

Perhaps I glorify drug use a bit too much. Hollywood is often accused of doing just that. I'm just sharing my experiences with you in an honest way. I tell you about the downside as well as the up. Haven't you read anything I've written about cocaine?

Human beings have been indulging in various intoxicants for thousands of years. It's something we seek out, something we must clearly require. Even when you are a kid, you probably have achieved an altered state of consciousness, without realising that’s what you are doing. I bet you spun around like a dervish, until you couldn't anymore and then you collapsed on the floor, feeling dizzy, with your head spinning. That's a way to reach an altered state without the ingesting anything.

Whether its cannabis, alcohol, magic mushrooms, peyote, you name it, people have always sought out different ways to get off their faces. Is it any wonder that science didn't get in on the act as well, with speed and LSD and Prozac and all the other synthesised drugs that mess with your head. Better living through chemistry, as they used to say.

My main drugs of choice, shrooms and weed, are natural. They both just grow, without too much help from man. Those of you who are religious would say they are gifts from God (or the gods) there to be enjoyed and consumed by man, since they are so natural. I don't see anything wrong partaking in both of them, as long as I'm sensible.

Again, I'm not going to bullshit you. All drugs have risks, especially tobacco and alcohol, which are the biggest killer drugs of them all. But it's my body and mind and I should be able to do what I want with them.

Shrooms can make you go crazy IF you have a propensity in that direction anyway. If you are borderline psychotic, then shrooms are not for you as they will send you across that border without a visa. That doesn't mean everyone who takes them will go crazy, but a minority of people (who probably would have ended up loony anyway) might.

There was another cannabis study released this week, which tried to make a strong link between smoking dope and psychosis in teenagers of a certain age. It would seem to this hippy, that those who went crazy from weed, did so because they were predisposed to it. All the dope did is speed up something that was already there anyway. Again, in a relative minority of people.

Ok, there's my drugs of choice covered; now what about booze? Booze is the same, if you have an inclination towards any sort of problem, be it depression or neurosis or psychosis, alcohol can bring it out in you. It does lower inhibitions, so it does make sense. It also jives that if you tend towards violence and aggression, liquor is quicker on those qualities as well. Check out any city centre on a Saturday night, booze is really a bad drug...

But no one is trying to ban booze!

They experimented with it the early days of the last century in America and look where it got them? Nowhere. I take that back, it more than helped create something we like to call the mafia. Yes, organised crime in America has its roots in prohibition. Doesn't everyone know that already?

And what has drug prohibition spawned? Colombian drug cartels, crack houses, meth labs and the like. There are countries whose entire economies are based on the export of drugs, to countries like the one you probably live in. Colombia's biggest export is coke; Afghanistan's is opium/heroin. Where do they send most of it? To Europe and America, of course.

The war on drugs is a joke and a waste of time. How does anyone think all of those drugs get moved around the world? Corruption, money is a strong persuader. People in authority must be turning a blind eye to allow the scope of smuggling that goes on.

Legalise everything, tax it, sell it in shops for a reasonable price, especially crack and smack! Try it, then see if your car stereo gets stolen. Make drugs affordable and watch many property crimes disappear. Go on, just a little experiment for the hippy, if I'm right, you can vote me king.

Look, the war on drugs started in America under Reagan, over 20 years ago. There are more drugs available at lower prices than ever before. That's one effective war, eh? If that's their definition of success, is it any wonder why they think things in Iraq are going so well!

It's Saturday morning and I'm just one crazeeee hippy in fabulous north London. I'm not going to change the world, no matter how much drivel I write.

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