VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

The VOSS is just 2 days away! Did you order your shrooms? Are you ready, fuckers? Find out more here!

Hey kids, what's shakin'? Besides the pope's hands?

That was in poor taste and I'll burn in hell eternally for it. At least I'll have lots of company.

I've had an an odd day which hasn't involved very much in terms of tangible results. Well, that's not strictly true, if empty bins and clean dishes count. Of course they count!

I received my last delivery of phase 2 of my all-new digital lifestyle, some software I ordered from Apple several weeks ago. It's funny, since this was the first thing I ordered in this spate of virtual shopping, it was the last to come.

Apple are not impressing me in the fulfillment stakes, other companies I order from come across with the goodies a lot quicker. I don't mean the G5 iMac, which was assembled to order, but things like software, should not take 3 weeks!

That doesn't bode well for phase 3 shopping, which will begin when I return from my holiday in a couple of weeks.

The software that arrived today include the program I'm using to write this entry, something called "ThinkFreeOffice" which is a cheap version of Microsoft Office. Well, a cheap cut down version, but so far, it seems pretty damn good to me. It was a tenth of the price of the Microsoft version and it will do almost everything I need it to do. Result!

The other program I got for myself is an intermediate guitar tutorial since I really need to brush up and practise more. I'd like to be as good as I was twenty years ago. Strike that, I'd like to play even better than that!

Phase 3 of my all-new digital lifestyle includes Logic Express and Final Cut Express HD, as well as a Maxtor 300gb OneTouch II external FireWire/USB2 hard drive. Phase 4 is an iPOD. Currently, there is no phase 5, but I reserve the right to require extra things to complete my mini-media package.

I've spent today trying to think of a simple film I can make in the next week or so using the resources I have available to me currently, which ain't much. I'll have to do everything myself including perform. It won't be made under the hippy brand, so I'm afraid I won't be releasing this one on the net.

I've got a rough idea of what I want to do, I'll probably write out a rough script, draw some simple story boards and then try to shoot it all in one day. Once that's done, I'll edit it, add music, put it on a DVD then sit back and wait for the Oscars to pour in!

Don't you wish you were me? Doesn't everyone?

My other project is still going well, wink-wink, it's a critical week for me, so I don't want to say too much. It could all die a swift death, or in a week I could be fabulously, anonymously famous. Either way, I'm still having fun!

On Saturday, we'll all be having fun because that's when we'll all be virtually shrooming our little socks off! If you haven't heard about it, you must be living under a rock! The buzz on the net is amazing, you can feel it in your very bones.

Or is that the asshole-cunt outside with the big speakers in his car booming out the bass like a bad-ass bastard? If only guns were legal, I'd take out his speakers and his engine block. Oh and maybe his brains as well, as if he has any to shoot!

Ok, the noise has stopped and I can hear myself think again. On second thought, maybe the bad music was better since my thoughts are so weird and twisted! Maybe it's all the drugs?

It sure will be on Saturday, because I'm going to be shroomed to the motherfucking gills and available online all day for your entertainment pleasure. You can join me in my very own shroom room or send me an instant message. Saturday is all about accessibility and I'm going to be very available and very, very high!

YOU can join me, all you need is a net connection, a browser and some shrooms, though I'm making an allowance this time, any mind altering substance is permissible. Yes, that means booze too, since it is a readily available DRUG that you can all get your grubby little hands on!

I'm going to be crushed if you're not there. I need you almost as much as you need me! Please don't disappoint me, I'm counting on every hippyfan's participation!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

It might be 2 weeks late, but better late than never! The VOSS is this Saturday!! Be there! Click here!

This blog is dying a slow death. If it was a horse, someone would shoot it.

I’m not sure of the exact moment when all my hippyfans abandoned me and left me here to toil on my own, but it’s a fairly recent phenomenon. What did I do? Where did I go wrong?

I’m still the entertaining hippy you’ve all grown to love (and maybe lust after just a bit), I’m still high all the time, I’m still the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet.

I’m still having more fun than you, I’m having more fun than everyone!

Well, all of the above is true, except for the shroomtastic part. I haven’t shroomed since the night of my shroom hell, which was shit, the 5th of February. I know that, because I just looked it up on Google.

Google knows everything, so I don’t have to!

You can read my account of my last shrooming experience right HERE. That is, if you missed it the first time. If you didn’t, well done you!

So I haven’t shroomed in nearly 2 months, do I really have the right to call myself shroomtastic? How about “the most shroomtastic”? I bet you there are people out there more shroomtastic as myself online. But are they blogging their lives away?

Are they fuck!

I’m the only one blogging my life away, every night and every day, just for YOU!

It’s nearly 2am, north London summer time and I’m home, which might surprise you. I’m not back to work for another week, I think. I bet you were waiting for me to say I was working. Well, I’m not, fuckers!

Mrs. Hippy and I went to a concert at the South Bank, Royal Festival Hall. The tickets were a birthday gift from me to Mrs. H and it wouldn’t have been my choice of entertainment.

It was Jonny Greenwood from Radiohead with the London Sinfonietta and other assorted musicians performing lots of usual, dissonant, atonal compositions that were meant to challenge my musical perceptions. What it challenged me to do was remain conscious for over 2 hours.

I’m not a Radiohead fan by any stretch of the imagination, so the whole thing was a bit lost on me. Thom Yorke came out at the end and sang two Radiohead songs with the orchestra of the bizarre and it was the best part of the concert. What that says about the preceding bits is there for you to interpret yourselves. You’re clever, you can dig it.

I went for one reason, to make Mrs. H happy and she enjoyed it very, very much. She’s a big Radiohead fan and she loved it, that’s what counts.

I’d like to think that I’ll be using this Saturday’s big massive giant larger than life fuck-off VOSS as a way to relaunch this blog. I’d like to recapture the magic we all used to feel around here.

Maybe that’s my problem, no shrooms equals a dull blog.

Perhaps I need to start taking other drugs as well. Does anyone know what the latest hip drug is that all the really cool kids are taking? This middle-aged, short, fat, bald hippy desperately needs a double dose!

That’s a genuine problem for me, I’ve run out of new drugs to take. Maybe one of you out there is some sort of organic chemistry whiz. Could you invent something new to get high on? I shouldn’t be that hard. I could be your test market!

I know, I could bake some hash cakes. I used love making hash cakes. The high when you eat cannabis is much different than when you smoke it. I used to make cakes a lot, but haven’t in ages. They’re great!

I’m on to something here. I just cleaned out my weed grinder and the scrapings provided me with around 1/2 a gram of incredibly strong, home pressed hash. I should explain.

I use a Pollinator Space Case, which you can get from any good online headshop. I got mine from EDIT. Do I have to give you the link again? It’s my favourite dope web site. Check the VOSS details link, it’s in there.

Basically, it’s a stainless steel grinder, with a mess bottom and a chamber underneath to catch all the loose crystals that fall from my juicy buds of skunk. Before I had the Space Case, these crystals were just lost. Now they collect in the lower chamber, waiting for me to retrieve them.

Every few months or so, I scrape the crystals out, they look like a loose green powder. I put them into a hash press, also from EDIT. The has press is a metal tube with a couple of big pegs that slip inside it. The hash is pressed between the two pegs, which are forced down by screw caps on either end. Does this make sense? Anyway, you leave it over night and the next day and small pellet of hash is formed.

I don’t get much, but it’s the best hash I’ve ever tasted, the tiniest bit is enough to get you quite high. I still have a bit from the last time as well, so I probably have around 3/4 of a gram. It’s not much, but I could cook something up with it. It’s way too much for a single dose, so I’ll have to think about this.

Maybe just a little in a hot drink with butter to activate the effects would be more sensible, it is nice to smoke as well. Oh, decisions, decisions, don’t you wish you had my problems?

It’s getting late and should be thinking about getting some shut-eye. I’m glad we had this chance to chat. You see, I haven’t really forgotten about you all and you shouldn’t forget about me either!

We can all make it up to each other when we all virtually shroom together this Saturday. It won’t be postponed again, I can assure you of that!

Saturday, March 26, 2005

That crazeeee hippy has done it again, the VOSS is postponed until next weekend! Sorry kids, that’s the way it goes. Click here for details

Yup, you read correctly, the big, giant, oversized VOSS has been postponed again until next Saturday, but this time, this time it won’t be moved again.

Blame my weird and twisted life and the fact that nothing I ever plan to do happens, ever. Nothing will stop next Saturday’s VOSS, you have my word as a hippy and drug user.

And if you went out and got magic mushrooms just for the VOSS, fear not, they will easily keep for a week in your fridge. If you don’t think they will, you could be naughty and accidentally dry them out. I say accidentally because here in the UK, they become illegal if you intentionally dry them. But you know, you could accidentally wrap them in some kitchen towel and leave them out in a warm room for a few days. You might just forget to put them back in the fridge, it could happen. Either way, save them for next Saturday, when you can take them and join me online for an entire day of virtual online shrooming excitement and fun.

Trust me, the VOSS will be well worth waiting for!

So where have I been? What have I been up to since last you saw me?

Oh you know, this and that!

Actually, a few interesting things have happened. On Thursday, my Edirol UA-25 arrived unexpectedly. I didn’t receive an email from the company or anything, even their tracking website didn’t show it was shipped. I’m not complaining, I’m just glad I was here when it appeared.

The set-up was a breeze, but that seems to be the way things are with everything made for an Apple and OS X. I literally had it up and running in about 2 minutes. Once I did that, I updated the software from Edirol’s site to the latest version and had a play around with GarageBand.

The software itself is surprisingly good, simple to use and seemed quite robust. My previous experience with recording music on a computer was with my old PC running Windows ‘98 and that was not much fun. It used to crash all the time and it was difficult to use.

My experience with GarageBand was nothing like that. I felt, for the first time, I could concentrate more on the music than the technology. And guess what, my musical skills are currently rubbish. I need a lot more practise, especially on the guitar, I am woefully bad. It’s been a long time since I’ve played, so I shouldn’t have expected anything different!

So kids, I’m letting you down again, but only temporarily. The first northlondonhippy single, entitled “Give me a yipppeee (it’s the northlondonhippy) will be delayed until I can at least play a bit without embarrassment. And god only knows what my voice will sound like when I try to sing?

Even I’m frightened to learn the answer to that one!

It doesn’t matter, the song will still rocket up the charts straight to number one. How could it not? It’s from me!

I’ve debated whether or not to tell you about the other exciting thing that happened to me this week, which involves my other blog. Since I’ve already touched on the subject already, it shouldn’t be a problem, but I’m even thinking of going back and deleting it. Actually, I am going to do that, so if you were lucky enough to catch what I’m referring to already, well done you! And if you missed it, sorry, but this is the first time I’ve ever censored myself, it has to be done.

All I will say is that my secret, fictional blog is getting a bit of genuine attention at the moment and in a week or so, all will be revealed. Or not.

Anyway, I’m not really feeling that great today, which is part of the reason why I’ve postponed the VOSS again.

I’m just one great big disappointment to everyone I know, my family, my friends, and now you. At least I’m consistent!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

In just a couple of days, your life will change. You will attend your first VOSS!

Hey ho hippyfans, what’s shaking?

Is it just me or does this blog seem a bit dead lately? Well come this Saturday we'll be giving it and me a big fucking kick up the ass when the VOSS happens.

What’s a VOSS? What are you, living in a cave? Not clicking on my handy links at the top of every-god-damn-page? Well screw you and the horse you rode in on!

VOSS stands for “virtual online shroom session” and man are they great! It’s really simple, you take some magic mushrooms, I take some too. Then we meet up online in the northlondonhippy shroomroom, which is my private chatroom set up just for the VOSS. Before you know it, you are partying with the hippy and having almost as much fun as me.

Nobody can have exactly as much as me though, since I have more fun than everyone!

Just be ready to come across with lots of “yipppeees” for me, lord knows I need ‘em!

Work last night was just fine, though I was pretty much toast by the time I left for home. The drive was fun, since I wasn’t very alert, luckily my Yaris has auto-pilot, so I just switched it on, closed my eyes, sat back and let the car do the rest.

Doesn’t your car have auto-pilot? Wasn’t it made in this century?

Once home, I didn’t do much except head off to bed around an hour after I got here. I woke up around 4pm and am still tired now. I’m sure the call of my pillows will again become irresistible and I will slink off to sleep soon.

I'm still working on the other blog, my secret, fictional one. It's getting more and more attention. I started it as a funny way to promote this one, but it's taken on a life of it's own. I don't know if that's a good idea anymore.

The people who read the other blog wouldn’t dig the hippy, they aren’t cool like you guys. I don’t mean that in an insulting way, well, maybe I do a little.

Anyone who would idolise my character is not someone you would want dating your daughter or your mother. My character is sleazy, but his fans must be sleazier, after all they exist and he’s just fiction.

But doesn’t that make this hippy kind of sleazy too? After all, I did imagine it.

A-hem.

Truth is, I have a vivid and active imagination. When I write as the other character, I try to almost become him. I know how wanky that sounds, but it’s true to a point. A certain amount of the writing in the other blog is calculated, but the best stuff I’ve come up with has been when I’ve tried to think like him and react to situations as he would. I must be doing something right, it’s getting loads of attention.

I want to get the excitement back that we had here not too long ago. I want you all to come back in droves and tell me how much you love, adore and worship me. I could be your personal saviour, if only you’d open your hearts to me!

2005 is still the year of the hippy! I can’t remain the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of for much longer, can I?
When’s the VOSS? This Saturday! Who’s gonna be there? Only the coolest of the cool! How do I find out more? Click here, fuckers!

I’ll admit to being just a little bit excited by the big fuck-off VOSS this Saturday. Perhaps it’s just that I haven’t shroomed in a while, but I’m really looking forward to the big online party. I hope you’re planning on attending; it just wouldn’t be the same without Y-O-U!

Unexpectedly, I find myself at work tonight. Someone else’s illness is my financial good news. I only got the call around lunchtime, so I’ve been awake all goddamn day. I’m really feeling it right now. I’ve been passing out right around this time every night, so it’s going to be a struggle to make it till morning and my long-ish drive home through rush-hour traffic.

I’ll survive, I always do, but I’ll be desperate for my bed by then. If you listen closely right now, you can even hear my pillows calling out “hippy, hippy, hippy!”

Considering how light my schedule is this month (and next), I should be grateful for the extra night of work. Trust me, I am.

That’s the problem working freelance, some months are better than others. I get paid only for what I do and I don’t get paid if I don’t get booked. Normally I get plenty, but it’s thin right now. It shouldn’t last, I’ve still got more toys to buy!

Speaking of toys, I’m still waiting for the software I ordered from Apple and my Edirol UA-25. I wish the UA-25 would come, then I could start playing around with GarageBand. And I could finally record my first single, “Gimme a Yipppeee”. No doubt, once released it will storm the charts straight to number one. You won’t need to buy it; I’m going to give it away for free!

I picked up the wide-angle lens adaptor for my camcorder today. It is not the best one money could buy, but it will do. I gave it a quick test drive and it appears to add 20-30% to the widest shot I can get. That will make a big difference when I’m shooting in my small, narrow house.

I’ve got an embryonic idea for my next little film, starring me. I want to properly script it out and shoot in the next week or so. I’ll cut it on iMovie, just to keep it simple, though I’m looking forward to getting my hands on Final Cut Express HD in the very near future.

All I seem to do these days is go on and on about all my new electronics. I’d apologise, but the truth is my all-new digital lifestyle is taking over my life! Trust me, it’s great! When you all see some results, you’ll believe me!

Anyway, I’ve got work to do, places to go, people to see. Catch ya later.

Monday, March 21, 2005

You’ve waited long enough...the big VOSS is this Saturday! Are you ready?

Sometimes I’m so undermotivated, I even surprise myself. I had loads I could have done today, but did I do it? Like fuck I did.

I was up early. I started out ready to rock, I was back from the supermarket with a whole load of shopping before 9:30am. And then...

Nothing. I’ve done sweet FA all day.

I’ve felt tired and lethargic, I still do.

I’ve been up early every day for the last week and to bed early every night as well. I’ve become dull. Either that or somethings up.

Or it could be something else.

Or it could be nothing.

Or I could just continue to speak in riddles until you punch me in the face.

I actually have done a little more than just make it to the supermarket. I tried to go into central London today as well. I say tried, because my local tube line was closed due to a malfunction and it was pure hell on earth around my part of north London.

I had a good wander around my local high street and managed to find something I was looking for, but I need to go collect it tomorrow. It’s the cheaper of the 2 wide-angle adaptors for my camcorder. Without it, I can’t really film in my house.

I’m hoping to make a film this week, just something short, weird and twisted. We’ll see. At least I’ll have the right lens adaptor for the job. And it’s not the expensive one. Yippppeeee.

I have to say, right now, at this juncture, that I am really looking forward to the big VOSS this Saturday. I haven’t shroomed in quite a while now, not since my shroom hell, which is nearly 2 months ago now I suspect.

I’m terrible judging the passage of time, most of my life seems like it was only last week. That includes my childhood and whatever it was I was doing an hour ago. It’s all a bit hazy.

I still haven’t received my Edirol UA-25, which is a bummer. The company its coming from said they would have them in stock at the end of this week. If they don’t, I’ll cancel the order and try someplace else. I’ll even try Edirol if I have to, but they are not the cheapest.

This hippy digs a bargain! I love buying shit at rock bottom prices and am the king of shopping around for the best price.

I saved loads on my camcorder and accessories, just buy checking around for the best deal. Never pay the recommended retail price, kids!

Something’s up with my other blog and I’m not sure what. I’ve had loads of hits on it today and I can’t figure out the source. My guess is that people are emailing the URL around the net, and if you click on it from an email, it doesn’t come up as anything in SpyMeter.

I’m due to make another entry on that one, nearly over-due, but I just couldn’t focus on it today. I will get to it in the next couple of days, I’m sure.

I still want to wrap it up soon and I think if I’m clever I can pull it off in 2 more entries. Always leave them wanting more!

Except here, where you are all seeming to need me less and less. My hitcounter is barely moving. What did I do this time to piss you all off?

I promise I won’t do it again, fuckers!

One thing I’ve learned in over a year of blogging my life away is that the numbers go up and the numbers go down and nothing I do seems to have any effect on it.

I suppose if I offered a million pound prize, people would become regular visitors, until I actually gave the prize away.

Hey, that’s given me an idea. Why don’t I run a contest where I give away one million pounds.

What’s the catch?

The prize draw would be set for the 1st of January 2199.

So go on, enter as often as you wish. As long as we’re both still alive in 194 years, I’ll hand over that cheque for a million quid. Until then, you’ll just have to put up with more of my special brand of drivel.

Can you stand it till then, fuckers?

Sunday, March 20, 2005

The VOSS is going to be so good, it’s worth an extra week waiting! Click here for details!

Welcome to day 368 of the northlondonhippy blog! Anything can happen, so keep an eye on your wallet!

I haven’t been here since Friday, I’m lazy, what else can I say. I haven’t done very much of anything, aside from a few things around the house and a trip to my local supermarket on foot this morning. I’ve wrestled with a few entertaining computer challenges though. Oh and I’ve loaded up my virtual iPOD, but more on that later.

On Friday, another of my deliveries arrived, this one carrying the very desirable Microsoft Intelliwheel Mouse for Bluetooth. I chose it to work with my G5 iMAC on the recommendation of a friend.

I was able to connect it up with my computer in a matter of seconds and it was much more comfortable to use than the Apple one-button mouse I’ve been using. There was one slight problem. When the mouse went into sleep mode, it lost the Bluetooth connection with my computer and didn’t automatically reconnect. I was mouseless.

A quick check of my system settings revealed that the mouse was indeed recognised by my computer, but it wasn’t “pairing”. As an earlier adopter of Bluetooth technology, I knew this was a bad thing. I tried to re-pair it several times, but it just wouldn’t happen.

I phoned Apple for some free technical support. They pretty much said they couldn’t offer me any help and said that if my Bluetooth was working with other devices (which at the time it was), then the problem was with the mouse. Apple provided me with the MS helpline number.

I then called Microsoft who were suprisingly good to deal with. I had the tech support guy on the phone within 5 minutes. Basically, he told me that this mouse had been specifically designed to work with Windows XP service pack 2 and would never work under Mac OS X. Bad dum bum.

He offered me a full refund if I sent the mouse back to him, but I didn’t want to give up so easily. Besides, the return process sounded a bit complicated anyway.

Instead I hit the net, which I probably should have done to begin with. Basically, it is a common problem with this mouse and Apple computers, many people were in the same boat. They were all holding out hope that a third company would be providing a driver to make that mouse work under OS X.

I went back to the Apple mouse and have decided to give the MS BT mouse to my younger brother. He runs XP SP2 and would benefit not just from the mouse, but the BT adaptor as well. Sorted!

The only Bluetooth mouse recommended (ie supported by Apple) is a Kensington Pocket Mouse and I’d like to see one before I buy it. I could just use a corded mouse, but I like the fact that very little is connected to the G5 and I’d like to keep it that way.

On Saturday, I tried another Bluetooth session, this time with my Sony-Ericsson s700i mobile phone. I paired them off the day I got the computer and everything worked fine. Then I ran the Bluetooth firmware updater and updated the software.

And now my phone and computer weren’t on bluetooth speaking terms. Somehow the update screwed up their pairing.

So I did the only thing I could think of, which was to delete the pairing on each device and try again. Guess what, it wouldn’t pair.

I did a decent job of searching the net for an answer and came up dry, so I decided to phone Apple again for some of their free advice.

Apple are pretty good on tech support, at least so far. This was Saturday around 5pm and I got someone on the phone in only a few minutes. I explained the problem, that it was working, then I updated the BT stuff and now it’s not. He told me to try re-pairing, I told him that I already did.

I asked him if there was a way to clear out the bluetooth records completely on the phone and start from scratch. He had me delete a file in the system library which contained all the bluetooth user data, including the keyboard and mouse details.

He then had me restart my system.

Then the phone line went dead.

Yes, you read right.

When the computer came back up, the mouse was not working. I couldn’t move the cursor to log in.

I phoned Apple back frantically, tried to get the first guy on the phone and couldn’t, instead the second guy said he would help me. I plugged in a corded mouse from my old PC and it worked instantly, thank god.

I had to re-pair the Apple bluetooth mouse, which worked fine.

Then we tried to re-pair my mobile, which also worked, the process finished perfectly the first time. What a lot of drama over nothing!

But now that the computer and the phone are friends, I should be able to do some pretty fancy things. Besides being able to send photos and video clips from the phone to the computer, I can also browse the phone from the computer and poke around its files. I can also use the phone to control the desktop, like a mouse. I can use it to run the media player, I could even use it to trigger a presentation, though that’s probably never going to happen.

I could see catching something interesting on the phone, on video though. I can easily import it into iMovie and edit it. Final Cut Express will do the same, when I finally get it. It’s all dead cool.

The other thing I’ve done is rip my entire CD collection on to my virtual iPOD. I say virtual, because I don’t own one yet. What I did was rip nearly all the CD’s I own into iTunes.

I couldn’t do all my CD’s, since some of them are old and worn an couldn’t be read. And they said they would last forever! Other CD’s fell into the “what was I thinking when I bought this rubbish” stack, and I didn’t bother ripping them either.

All told, I’ve got 1,600 individual songs, which take up about 6.33gb of hardrive and would take 4.7 days to play back. It’s made up of 123 separate albums and 108 recording artists. That’s a lot of content. That makes getting an iPOD a lot easier and shows me how sensible it could be.

Now, I started from scratch with my music collection about 15 years ago and most of it was on cassette. I didn’t move to CD until a few years after that, so that’s really about 12 years of purchasing. And it doesn’t include stuff I’ve downloaded that only ended up on my old mini-disc. That stuff is lost now.

What it tells me is I don’t need a 60gb iPOD. I might not even need the 30gb and could probably get away with a 20gb. So ripping all my CD’s now has actually saved me money on an iPOD. Imagine that.

This blog is turning into tech-geek corner. Sorry.

Don’t think I haven’t noticed that my blog is going downhill fast. It’s not as good as it used to be, could become my latest catch phrase. The observant reader might have already caught it up at the top of this page in my tag-line. I put it there on Friday, my first anniversary.

I reckon I’ve got two choices, I can either buck-up my efforts and try to make things more interesting again or think about hanging up my hippyhat. I’m not going to make any rash decisions today, not with the big VOSS coming up next week. I wouldn’t let you all down on that, it will happen.

What’s worse, is I had a great topic yesterday, the British government re-opening the debate on cannabis classification. They downgraded this hippy’s favourite substance to class “C” about 15 months ago, but are asking the medical council to review it “in light of recent findings relating to its dangers.”

Specifically a couple of studies that link cannabis use with psychotic episodes and schizophrenia.

I’ve done this rap before, on how people with mental problems seek out stuff like weed to self-medicate. They already have a tendency towards loopiness, dope doesn’t set it off, puberty and adulthood most likely do.

Let’s take the same group of kooks and see what their experience is with alcohol. Gosh, they all drank as well, I guess booze makes you crazy too!

Look fuckers, I’m a grown-up and if I want to pollute my body with any substance, it’s my goddamn business. As long as I’m not behind the wheel of my car or in my local park, I’m not hurting anyone, am I?

When I shroom, I do it in the privacy of my own home and no one is the wiser. Except you guys, of course. Who else would I tell?

You want smackheads and crackheads off the street? Give them someplace safe to use, where you can keep a discreet eye on them. Want them to not steal your car stereo? Make all drugs legal and sell them at the same price their sold in their country of origin. That would make them super-cheap, just pennies a day. Grandma wouldn’t get her throat slit for her pension money. Everyone wins.

But no, there’s a general election coming and Tony B’s worried. When people look at a spooky old fuck like Michael Howard and start thinking “hey, even he might be better than Tony,” you know you’re in trouble. Blair wants to seem tough and this move with weed is a pre-emptive strike against any possible Tory criticism.

Hopefully, after the election, this nonsense, like the crap about making fresh magic mushrooms illegal will just fade away. Or maybe, the general medical council will say, “you know Tony, the declassification didn’t go far enough. You should make spliff legal, sell it in shops and cafes and tax it. Let all the dopeheads be happy and live in peace. Dig it?”

Yeah and then this hippy woke up.

I have a dream, fuckers! A dream where marijuana is legal and I can walk into any shop and order the strain of my choice, loose, pre-packed or ready-rolled. And then I could visit a nice coffeeshop for a cannabis cappuccino and spacecake.

The dream exists, but only in Amsterdam so far. And fuck me if they’re not thinking of changing their policy. I’m hardly an expert in Dutch politics, but their example of tolerance deserves our praise and respect. I hope they will see sense and keep their very workable drug policies exactly the way they are.

And until things get better here in the UK, I’ll stay smoking behind my net curtains.

Unless you can point me to a nice, underground cannabis cafe here in London. I was aware of a few of them, but they’re all long gone. Show me the way to a new one and I’ll get you very high!

Friday, March 18, 2005

The big VOSS has been postponed by one week, it’s now Saturday 26th March 2005! Click here for the updated details. You better be there!

Hey kids!

Would you all please stand and help me sing the following song:

“Happy anniversary to the hippy

Go on, give him a “yipppeee”

He is rather trippy

And he made it to his first anniversary!”

Well fuck me rigid and call me Linda Lovelace, if I haven’t actually gone and done it! The northlondonhippy blog is one year old today! And people say I have no attention span!

People say a lot of shit, though, don’t they.

Well, it was a year ago today that I logged into Blogger for the very first time. I was unemployed, broke and looking for a new direction. And now, one year later, things couldn’t be any different.

I’m working, nearly full-time on a contract that pays well, but still gives me plenty of time to pursue my weird and twisted lifestyle.

I’ve got dosh in the bank, plus a new moderately priced economy car. And let’s not forget my all-new digital lifestyle, which I’m still working on completely. I reckon I’m 75% of the way there now. Materially and financially, I am doing much better.

I’m still “on drugs”, if you count spliff and I’m sure some of you zealots out there do! I’m smoking my first one of the day as I type this. It’s 8:30am in the morning, I waited as long as I could! I still enjoy my shrooms as well, though I don’t get to take them as often as I used to!

I’ve kept going on this blog for a year now. I’ve had over 2,000 visitors and served up well over 3,000 pages. Actually, the numbers are really higher than that, but I didn’t bother to put a hit counter on the page until last July.

I’ve got well over 300 entries here, Blogger doesn’t count them properly, so I don’t have a precise number. Some of them are even good and worthy of your valuable surfing time. A lot of them are shite, but hey, at least I wrote something.

And I don’t only have this blog, I also have my other, secret, second fictional blog which continues to attract new and returning visitors every day. I started the 2nd one in December and have already had 1,300 visitors,

The other blog has 27 “chapters” already, well over 75,000 words. Many of them are bad words, like “cock” and “pussy” and “suck me”. It’s rude, bordering on pornographic, but it’s also funny and has a story full of twists and turns. I’d like to make some money out of it, but that seems unlikely.

My family is still around, though, there’s one less of us wandering the earth. My father passed away last September. I spent a great deal of time writing about his illness and death and my ostrich like reaction to it all. He was a good man and he deserved better from me.

My mother’s still around, but her life is shit. She’s practically bed-bound and relies on a home-care-assistant to take care of her. I spoke to her yesterday, our conversations are never happy. Her latest plan is to sell her house and move into a nursing home near one of her sisters. She changes her plans every few weeks, so who knows what she’ll do. I’m letting her down as well, I’m doing it right now.

My younger brother’s here and he’s doing ok. We didn’t speak for about 6 months, right across the time my father died. He’s here in London too and I speak to him often again and try to see him every few weeks. I’m glad he’s back, I missed him.

And of course, Mrs. Hippy’s still here and still putting up with my weird and twisted life. We’ve been together nearly 8 years, so she is used to my eccentricities. But that’s cool, because I’m used to hers as well. We’re stuck with each other for life, but that’s love for ya!

And last, but certainly not least, there’s you guys, my loyal legions of hippyfans. There’d be no point in spilling “my special brand of drivel” all over the internet if you all weren’t there to read every word.

Remember, “I’m blogging my life away, every night and every day, just for Y-O-U!”

I’ve been “the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet” for a year now and there’s no sign I’m going to ease back anytime soon! I love being the hippy with all the acclaim and free drugs that come with it.

So what do I have planned for the second year of the hippy? More of the same, more spliff, more shrooms and much more fun!

“I’m having more fun that you, right now, but then I have more fun than everyone!”

“I’m still the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of! But not for long! 2005 is the year of the hippy” The mainstream media will be my bitch before you know it. I’ll only travel by limo and only if it’s chock full of hookers, handguns and hard-drugs. I’ll make sure that all three items are in every rider of every contract! Dammit.

I’m an unashamed internet weirdo, but that’s cool, because you probably are too. You wouldn’t be reading this if you were anything else! Thank god for us, we make the world go round and round!

Thank you, my family, friends, casual visitors and loyal hippyfans for a year I’d normally never remember. And thanks to this blog, because can look up what is was I did almost every day of the last 365!

Gosh, I’m getting all emotional. Is that a hippy tear I see?

No, just some smoke in my eyes. Honest.

Catch ya later, fuckers!
THE BIG VOSS HAS BEEN POSTPONED (again) UNTIL SATURDAY 2nd April!
THINK OF IT AS BEING GIVEN ANOTHER WEEK TO PREPARE AND LOOK FORWARD TO IT!

Due to some circumstances beyond this hippy’s control, the big fuck-off VOSS has been postponed by one week. It’s typical hippy, but there you go. At least I didn’t cancel it!

The VOSS will now take place on Saturday 2nd April 2005.

The location of the VOSS has changed as well. MSN is not possible, instead we will be using a Yahoo chatroom.

On the day, you’ll need to come to my blog, where you will find a handy link to my new shroomroom. Oh and you’ll need a Yahoo user ID and Yahoo messenger if you want to speak to me directly!

Here’s all the details you need:

The northlondonhippy is pleased to announce…

The next Virtual Online Shroom Session (VOSS)!

The place: A Yahoo chatroom (link to be provided on the day)
The date: Saturday 2nd April 2005
The time: 10:00-21:00 GMT/London time

(Here are times in other parts of the world
Beijing/Taipei: 18:00-04:00
Tokyo/Bangkok: 19:00-05:00
Berlin/Paris: 11:00-22:00
New York, Washington DC, Boston, Atlanta: 05:00-16:00
Los Angeles/San Francisco: 02:00-13:00
- Click HERE to check for the time difference to your nearest city)

That’s right kids, on Saturday 2nd April, you can join this hippy online for a day of virtual online shrooming! The last VOSS was a rollicking success, I expect this one will be even bigger and better!

I’ve given you plenty of notice this time, around an entire month, plus now an extra week! And I’m doing it on a Saturday, so you really have no excuses! Be there or beware!

It doesn’t matter where in the world you are, you can all be a part of the fun! All you need to join in the online shrooming extravaganza is a net connection and some fresh magic mushrooms. If you’re in the UK, you have no excuses, they’re still legal and easy to get!

If you don’t have a headshop near you and you can’t get to Camden or Portabello Markets, don’t worry, here are three different websites that will post them to you, which I can personally recommend!

EveryoneDoesIt.Com

RedEyeFrog.Com

Magicplants.Co.UK

They all ship via overnight post, but I’d make sure they come a day or two before the big VOSS, just to be safe. That’s my plan anyway!

They’ve got the hippy seal of approval, so you know they’ve got to be good!

And don’t worry if you ordered them already, they’ll keep just fine in your fridge.

If you’re not in the UK, never fear, they grow wild everywhere. Or maybe, you’ll know some helpful person who can hook you up with some. Look, I don’t care how you get ‘em, but you better get ‘em!

Ok, it doesn’t have to be shrooms, any mind-altering substance will be fine, including liquor if that’s all you can lay your hippyfan hands on! Just as long as no one is sober, everyone has to be buzzed on something! That’s really the only rule.

The VOSS was going to be hosted by our good friends at MSN, but since they hate my new 20" G5 iMAC, that's no longer an option.

Besides shrooms and a net connection, you’ll need to log-on to whatever new chatroom venue I find. I'll put the details up ASAP. I promise this event is open to anyone! You can all come to the VOSS, no one will be excluded (except members of the law enforcement industry, naturally).

On the day of the big VOSS, you'll just need to join my chatroom, where you will find me, shroomed up, stoned and ready to party virtually with you!

It will be just like I’m right there in the room with you, only with less of me touching you up, that comes in version two…mmmmmmmmmm.

We can virtually see those pretty colours together, it will be all your northlondonhippy dreams come true at once! Can you stand it, fuckers?

So there you have it, you know what to do next. Get registered, get ready, we’re gonna tear the entire internet to shreds! So come on hippyfans, let’s make it day we’ll never remember!

I hope to see you all there virtually for the big VOSS, don’t forget that date, it’s now Saturday 2nd April 2005!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The VOSS is still on, but the venue is changing. Watch this place for more details!

Hey fuckers!

Yes, you read it correctly. I’ve got a last minute task to locate a new online venue for the big fuck-off VOSS on Saturday. Why? Because nothing ever goes as planned for this hippy, anniversary week or not.

I went to check out my shroomroom in my MSN group yesterday, just to make sure my brand new 20” G5 iMAC would be able to get me there and guess fucking what? MSN chatrooms aren’t compatible with OS X, the Apple operating system.

Oh I tried it on Firefox, Internet Explorer, even Safari, but it wouldn’t work. MS are out to get Apple, I’ve just read that they have dumped their support for Mac’s on their ISP service in the states.

MS knows that Apple makes superior computers and probably the most stable, well written OS in the business and they’re scared. They’re pussies! And they just fucked me!

But that’s ok, I’ll fuck them all back, the big VOSS will not be stopped! They can try, but they won’t succeed! We’ll all be VOSS’ing together on Saturday one way or another.

Next stop, Yahoo. If I can make it work, I’ll update the details here in the blog, so you all know where to go on Saturday.

Look kids, I’m sorry about this, but in my world, you gotta roll with the changes! The important thing is that we’re not gonna let “the man” bring us down. We won’t be stopped. feel the freak power!

I’ll sort it out, leave it with me, it will all be groovy by Saturday. What’s my life without a little bit of drama.

And I know, I always say “let all the drama be someone else’s”, but sometimes drama is thrust upon you and you don’t have any say in the matter whatsoever.

Yesterday was slightly better, though I still didn’t get that much done. I managed to post a lengthy entry on my other blog, which ought to keep the net-pervs busy for another week or so.

You hippyfans are lucky, but I don’t have to tell you that! You get an entry from me almost every day. On the other blog, it’s probably closer to 7-10 days between each entry.

I may be getting more visitors on the other blog, but I know where my bread is really buttered! Right here in hippy heaven with you guys! I’d rather chillout with dopeheads than net-pervs any day!

Sex sells and the entire internet is buying! Throughout my “research” for the other blog, I’ve discovered a world of casual and commercial sex online that even a jaded old cynic like me is impressed with. There’s a helluva lot out there.

I’ve found websites set-up to hook up married people for casual affairs. I’ve found sites that let you post adverts for free seeking casual sex of all sorts. And not only have I seen countless sites advertising expensive callgirls, but there are even companion sites run by punters offering reviews of their experiences with the hookers.

And let’s not forget the countless porn sites and endless amounts of spam we all receive offering anything from viagra to local women in your area that need it now to making your dick larger.

There’s a lot of money being made from the net-perv brigade. I haven’t managed to get so much as 5p from them myself, but that’s because I give all my content away for free!

What a fucking crazeeee hippy I am!

Speaking of free content, I’m going to end up letting you down on another front this week. The UA-25 hasn’t arrived yet and when I checked the vendors website this morning, it still hasn’t been shipped! The cunts!

I’m going to phone them a bit later and see what the hold-up is...if they had it in-stock, like they said on their website, it should be on its way to my lair already.

Without that box, I can’t record my first northlondonhippy single, “Gimme a yipppeee (The northlondon hippy says)”. I wanted to make it available to coincide with my 1st anniversary on Friday, but it doesn’t look too likely now.

Unless by some miracle it comes in the next 24 hours, I’m going to be disappointing you all. Again, I’m very sorry, but it’s out of my control.
Naturally, the item I didn’t expect till the end of the week, did arrive yesterday. My brand new Sony PCR HC42E widescreen camcorder was delivered around lunchtime! Yipppeeeee!

From the time I hooked up the battery and put in a tape, to my first finished (1 mins) edited film with voice-over narration, music and titles took me less than 2 hours, using iMOVIE HD.

That might sound like a long time to you, but I’d never used any equipment like this before, so I was learning as I went. It’s pretty easy to use and fairly intuitive, but it was still all-new territory to me.

I’ve worked in television production since the mid-80’s. I’ve been a professional cameraman and videotape editor, but this was back in the old days of Beta SP and 2-tape machine editing. All this digital stuff, which has been around for years, came after I stopped being technical. I haven’t played with many of the new pro production toys.

As a concept, non-linear editing makes total sense to me. Plus I’m computer literate, so it really wasn’t that hard. I still need some practise to get faster and I can already see the rather tight limitations of iMOVIE HD.

I’m not knocking the program at all, as a freebie included with the computer, it’s not bad at all. If you want to do anything a bit fancier, like A-B rolling (to do cross-fades and dissolves) or multiple audio tracks, you need a better application.

I’m sure I won’t wait too long before I get Final Cut Express. With my discount, it’s not actually that expensive.

And here’s the thing: It wasn’t all that long ago that to match the capabilities of Final Cut Express, you could have spent anywhere from £20,000-£50,000 for analogue decks, vision mixers and controllers.

Today, you can do the same for a couple of grand.

I’m practically a movie studio already!

I just wish the UA-25 would arrive so I could be a recording studio too!

The tripod should be arriving today or tomorrow. That’s cool, because it means I can start making little comedy films starring me. The camera has a remote control, so I can do everything remotely - mainly starting and stopping the recording.

Making films starring myself will be a good way to learn how it all works, then when I’m ready, I’ll put together a small crew and find some actors and actresses and make some proper hardcore...I mean proper drama and comedy.

Why not? I don’t see anyone else offering me a budget. I’ll do everything on the cheap and make my own goddamn fun.

Wanna play along? Are you in the London area? Do you have skills or talents you’d like to offer the hippy? I’m always open to offers, just send me an email.

Sorry, I got distracted away from the computer for a bit. Not that you would actually notice, since this paragraph flows seamlessly from the last. Trust me, I’ve been away from the computer for over an hour.

The tripod arrived. It’s even better than I expected and it only cost £17, including a carry-case. It’s perfect! I’ve set it and attached the camera and it works like a dream.

Having played with the camera a bit, I can see that a wide-angle extender will be a useful addition to my bag of tricks, and most likely an external microphone as well. No rush though.

I also sorted a bit of business with my accountant, well, I signed a form and sent him an email, but it’s something. I’ve also moved my now-obsolete printer off my computer desk. I even spoke to my younger brother for a little while. I sent him a compressed version of my first film. At least I think I did, it’s taking ages to go through my POP3 email.

I also called the company I purchased the Edirol UA-25 from to check on the status of my order. They said they were currently out of stock and their back-order of 100 of the little suckers was overdue, but expected in the next 9 days. They are popular, they are good value and no one can get enough of them! There isn’t one to be had in the entire country. So I left I order with them and if everyone is telling the truth, it should be with me in 10 days.

So no northlondonhippy single anytime soon. Don’t worry, it will be well worth waiting for!

I’m going to wrap this up now, I’ve got places to go, people to see, drugs to smoke. I can be pissing about here all damn day, I’ve got an all-new digital lifestyle to sort out!

Oh and keep watching, I’ll pin down where the VOSS will be in the next day or so, I promise!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

4 days till the big VOSS and counting! Be there or be unaware!

Hey fuckers! What do we know about plans and hippies? And how many entries have I started just like that? More than this hippy can count!

Absolutely nothing I had planned in the last 24 hours came even remotely close to my expectations. So much for my big anniversary week and all that shit being great!

The beginning seems like a sensible place to start. I arrived home after work at a reasonable time, chilled out for about an hour and then departed for central London and a simple shopping trip to pick up one item.

The shop was called Turnkey and the item was the Edirol UA-25.

I had a rather gruelling ride on a near rush-hour tube train. The train was quite crowded and I was wedged into a corner surrounded by tall people. It wasn’t fun.

I arrived in the West End at about 10am and had a short walk to the shop from the station. Once I arrived at Turnkey, it was not long open. Actually, I was the first customer.

I went to the computer music counter and stood there for a short while, checking the shelves for my UA-25, but I didn’t see one. I did locate one in a display case though.

There was a geek behind the counter, playing with his computer and ignoring me.

Finally, I asked him for the UA-25, he peered up at the same shelves briefly, them went back to his computer only to utter a few seconds later “it’s out of stock”.

What?

Now, as you loyal hippyfans know, that while I’m a keen consumer, whenever I try to spend any money, it often goes badly, or at least is more complicated than it should be. Why was I so surprised this time.

And as a keen consumer, naturally I checked Turnkey’s website to insure they had the item in-stock. And of course, it said they did, or I would not have wasted my time going there.

So I asked the geek behind the counter about this and he explained the website wasn’t connected to their stock control system. Clever, eh?

I then asked what would have happened if I ordered one online. He said I would have received an email telling me it was on back order. Very impressive, isn’t it?

The only way to check Turnkey’s stock in their shop on Charing Cross Road online is to order it, wait to see if you get an email, then cancel the order if they have it, then go to the shop. Excellent.

I was really pissed off by this. The geek didn’t seem to mind so much when I stormed out of the shop.

I wasted nearly 2 hours and five quid going there after working 72 hours in six nights. I think I have a right to be pissed off, don’t you?

That’s why I have decided to name and shame Turnkey for their shabby customer service practises. They can suck my hippy cock, I won’t be shopping with them any more.

Instead, when I got home, I ordered one from another website, where they said they had one in-stock. I’m hoping it will be with me very soon, otherwise I’ll be letting you all down on the promised release of my first hit single, “Gimme a yipppeee”. I hate letting my hippyfans down, but sometimes there are reasons beyond my control.

Without the UA-25, I won’t be able to connect my guitar, mic or keyboard to my new 20” G5 iMAC properly.

They are cunts and they can slow me down, but they can’t stop me!

Anyway, once I ordered the UA-25, I was in a near spending frenzy. Phase II of my all new digital lifestyle will be arriving this week.

Besides the very useful and well-designed UA-25, I’ve also ordered my SONY PCR HC42E True Widescreen camcorder, plus extra battery, charger and DV cable, all from the same company.

Then, from my friends at Amazon, I ordered an inexpensive, lightweight camcorder tripod. It was really cheap, only 17 quid and comes highly recommended. You can’t go wrong at that price, can you? The Sony version was five times as expensive, though it did include camera controls on the pan-arm. So fucking what?

From another company, I ordered the MS Intelliwheel Bluetooth mouse, to replace the Apple one-button mouse I am currently using. I’m missing the 2nd button and the scroll wheel very much.

I also ordered some blank DV tapes and some blank DVD-R’s. That’s enough spending for one day! It should all be arriving this week, if I’m lucky.

Phase three involves upgrading my video and music software from iMovie HD and GarageBand to Final Cut Express and Logic Express. I’ve also got my eye on a Maxtor One-Touch, USB2-Firewire, 300gb external hard drive (7200rpm!) and a controller that makes recording music and editing video a bit easier - it’s a jog/shuttle wheel thingy, oh I’ll just post a link when I order it, then you can see for yourself.

And I’m sure there’s other little bits and pieces I need as well, but once phase 2 arrives, I can get started!

What is it I’m going to be starting? I’m not 100% sure yet. That's ok, I wasn't sure what I was going to do with my blog and look how much fucking fun I've had!

I already know I do want to start recording music again. I’ve also got an idea for making some funny, short films starring myself, but I don’t know if you’ll ever get to see them. Only if they are really funny and I release them under a name other than the hippy, that is.

This hippy will remain anonymous forever, or at least for as long as I can. You’ll hear me singing my my first single, when I record it, though I might use enough effects that no one could even recognise it. We’ll have to wait and hear.

Once I finished my manic spending spree, I chilled out for a few hours, until around 1:45pm when something unexpected happened. My power went out. No shit.

Don’t worry, this hippy pays his bills, I wasn’t cut off by Mister Electricity Man. Oh no, my entire neighbourhood was out. So much for my all-new digital lifestyle, it was well and truly fucked.

I stayed awake a while longer, waiting for the power to return, but it didn’t, so I went up for a nap. I slept until 2:45am, when the power returned and I woke up.

That means I didn’t have any juice for 13 hours! It sucked, it was like living in the stone age. I thought I was going to have to eat grubs and berries for the rest of my weird and twisted life. Thankfully now I won't have to, I'm back in the 21st century with the rest of you!

And that’s right kids, I’ve been awake for nearly five hours already and it’s only 7:45am north London time.

I’m fucked, and my body clock is spinning out of control, like one of those comedy clocks in a movie that shows the passage of time. You know what I mean, fucker!

So all in all, I haven’t exactly hit the ground running this week. The trip to IKEA today has been postponed because Mrs. Hippy’s sleep has been just about as disrupted. And I’ve got all those deliveries to wait for, they could start arriving anytime from tomorrow or even today, if they really want to shock me.

Now how about some better news?

I hit another whopper of a milestone with this blog yesterday. My hitcounter surpassed 2,000 individual visitors. That’s amazing, as it only clocked 1,000 in the first week of January. Well done to all of you for coming back lots and lots.

Obviously, I’m either a figure of worship or ridicule. I’m not bothered either way. I’m still diggin’ being the hippy and you’re all still diggin’ whatever it is I do here. Oh yeah, that “special brand of drivel” nonsense.

"I'm still blogging my life away, every night and every day, just for you!"

A lot has changed for me in the last year, from my job right through to the other secret, fictional blog to my all-new digital lifestyle. And how could I forget the passing of my father?

I couldn’t. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about him or missed him, very much. That’s brought the tone right down, hasn’t it?

Let’s get back to the fun, I know that’s what you’re really here for!

There’s a genuine, palpable buzz pervading the internet this week, if you’re quiet and you listen hard enough, you can actually hear it. Maybe even sense it, if you are tuned in and so inclined.

It’s all to do with my big first anniversary online and the approach of the even bigger VOSS.

If you haven’t bothered to click on the handy link I’ve been providing on every entry, explaining what a VOSS is and how you can join this one, shame on you, fuckers!

But it’s not too late, you can register anytime, including once the big fuck-off VOSS starts. Registration is open until the VOSS closes and I'll be available online via Yahoo messenger if you have any problems.

You’ve really got no excuse. I’ll be there and I’ll be crushed if you don’t come too! But I do understand, this hippy is quite sympathetic.

If you have genuine responsibilities which prevent you from virtually spending the day off your face on shrooms with me this Saturday, it’s not your fault. Perhaps you need to work, or visit sick relatives or whatever.

Your life is probably as complex as mine, maybe even more so. I can dig it.

If, however, you are free and available, you have no excuse. All you need is the time, a computer, a net connection and a hotmail or passport account from MSN. Oh and some magic mushrooms or other equally mind bending drug. And yes, booze fucking counts, fuckers!

If you can’t make it and you still want to help me celebrate my first anniversary, I’ll welcome your comments, emails and offers of sexual favours, And needless to say, I wouldn’t say “no” to some free drugs either!

I know I shouldn’t, but I’ve been craving some MDMA powder and don’t have a source for any. If you do, just fucking send me some.

Unless you’re a hot teenage girl, in which case you can deliver it in-person. Mrs. H won’t mind, she said since it’s my anniversary week, I can shag all the hot little hippyfan chicks to my hearts content.

Ok, she didn’t really, but she did say she would surgically remove my balls if I so much as wrote about it again. Ut-oh, where’s the goddamn delete key on this iMac? Nothing’s the same as Windows!

But that brings me to my other, fictional blog which funnily enough is mainly about sex, though recently my character has acquired a taste for charlie as well. I had to connect it to this blog somehow!

My younger brother has been seeding the internet with links to that blog and since he has, the hit counter has gone crazeeeee!

In the last week, it went from around 350 since I started it in December, all the way up to over 1,200 individual visitors. Yipppeeee for that.

And many of the people who’ve come, have sent the link to other people or posted it online on other websites. Word is getting out, many are coming back for more already.

And because of the power cut yesterday, I wasn’t able to post a new entry as I had planned. I’ll do it today though, it’s mostly written already, I’ll just complete it and give it an edit to reflect that it’s not the day I had planned. It shouldn’t take me too long and I’ve got nothing else to do today.

I really want to make some money out of that blog, I just don’t know how. If you have any suggestions, or ideas, please, please, please get in touch. I’ll cut you in for a percentage if it works.

Anyway, I just sat down to bash out a quick entry and I’ve already hit four and a half pages in my word processor. Since I’ve lost things on Blogger, now I always right them offline and save them before posting them. I’m a careful hippy, that’s for sure.

It’s my big first anniversary week, don’t forget the actual day is Friday and the celebration is Saturday during the big VOSS. I hope you’re going to help me celebrate somehow. Remember, if you can’t make the big VOSS, you can always email me. It’s northlondonhippy@yahoo.co.uk

Wouldn’t it be great if I woke up on Friday morning and ran downstairs to the computer, checked my email and found my inbox just chock full of your best wishes? It would be just like ALL MY northlondonhippy dreams came true at once!

Monday, March 14, 2005

Countdown to the big VOSS: 5 days left! Wanna know more? Click here!

It’s my first anniversary on Friday. Did you get me a gift? I have expensive tastes, so don’t be sending me any crap, fuckers!

I can’t believe a year has gone by already. Time flies when you’re on drugs!

I’ll be spending the week reflecting back on some of the highs and lows of the last year. I was high, everything else was pretty low!

I’ve got quite a busy week ahead of me, actually. I’ve got to:

1) Re-design and update the “BEST” of the hippy page
2) Write a new entry on the second, secret, fictional blog
3) Write, record and post the first northlondonhippy single, “Gimme a yippeeee”
4) Prepare for the big VOSS

I’m, also going to be spending some of my hard earned cash on more electronics designed to seamlessly integrate into my all-new digital lifestyle. Chief among these items is the DV camera and accessories and the audio/MIDI interface. I’m still planning on bopping into central London on Monday morning to pick up the interface, which is cheaper there than online even.

And Mrs. H and I are planning a trip to IKEA to pick up a few things. IKEA is hell on earth, but where else can you get decent furniture and fixtures at a cut rate price?

We need a new floor lamp as our uplighter in the living room died last week, plus a few extra bits as well.

And if that’s not enough, I’m thinking of hiring a skip in the next week or so to begin to clear out all of the clutter in the house. Don’t know what a “skip” is? Then you’re in America, where you call them “dumpsters”. They’re cheap to hire and the companies who rent them, also sort out the local permission, so it’s a good deal.

I also need to see my dentist for an overdue annual check-up and cleaning AND I need to get my eyes checked out and my prescription for contact lenses renewed.

Phew!

Perhaps it’s all a bit much for one week, but that’s OK, as it stands I’m not working for at least 3 weeks. Unless the phone rings, that is.

I think this week should be all about being the northlondonhippy and most of my efforts should be concentrated on having fun and celebrating my “amazing success” online.

I’m still “the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of”, but not for long. 2005 remains the year of the hippy. Check your calendars if you don’t believe me!

Let’s face it, my blog isn’t as good as it used to be, so perhaps I should focus my efforts on recapturing the original magic that made this blog so great.

Original magic? This blog is so great? The madness of king hippy continues!

I’m going to be wrapping up the other blog imminently, I invision 3 more entries in the next fortnight, and then it will be done. I’ll take a break with the character for a few months, before I start the sequel.

That means you’ll all get my relatively undivided attention again very soon. I bet you can’t fucking wait!

It also means I’m going to return to my roots. That means less bullshit about my life and more bullshit about fun things, like drugs, music and society. Dig it, fuckers!

I don’t’ really think I’ve written anything recently worthy of inclusion on the "BEST" of the hippy in a while and that’s bad. How can I point you to the “relative gems” if I’m not providing them for you?

We all know the answer to that one!

Special thanks to all my hippyfans who’ve stuck with me through this brief fallow period. Your dedication will be richly rewarded, both in this life and the next!

I’ve logged in and blogged on early tonight. As you probably guessed or even remembered, I’m at work again this evening, my last one of six gruelling shifts in a row.

Roll on Monday morning!

Stay tuned, fuckers! This is going to be a fun week, for me, for you…for everyone!

Sunday, March 13, 2005

The big VOSS is in six days. This hippy will be there, will you? The details are here!

I’m bored. I’m very bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!

I thought last night was dead, but tonight is even worse. If I had any less to do, I wouldn’t be breathing. I just have to keep reminding myself that at least I’m getting paid.

I think it must be because I’m tired, but I’m feeling a bit down tonight as well. I need more sleep, much more. At least Sunday night is my last one of this run, and possibly the month as well. Well, that’s the downside. I wish I had more work this month. Blah, blah, blah.

Between the boredom and the lethargy, I’m not really sure I should have even attempted to post something here, but now that I’ve started, let’s see where it goes.

I hate it when I feel this tired and listless at work. The lack of anything to do only makes me feel even more tired. If I had something to keep me busy, I’m sure I would be my normal perky self.
I’m starting to stress myself out over shopping for more items to complete my all-new digital lifestyle. There’re so many things I want, so much that I need, that I can’t afford it all at once. I need to prioritise my purchases carefully, to make sure I get the right bits in the right order.

I’ve decided I want a better mouse, one with a scroll wheel and 2-buttons. A friend at work who is a Mac fanatic has recommended one that he uses. It’s a Microsoft Bluetooth mouse and looks pretty good. He said all I would need to do is pair it up with my iMAC, a driver won’t be needed. Sounds good to me!

I also think next will be the audio interface that I’ve already mentioned. It’s an Edirol UA-25 and I can pick it up discounted in the West End. If I have the energy, I might even bop down there on Monday morning, after work and grab it. Without it, I can’t connect a MIDI keyboard, as well as get a decent guitar and mic recording. You wanna hear me sing and play guitar, don’t you?

I’m also going to order the DV camera, I just don’t know what day yet. I want to make sure I am planning to be home when it comes. With that, I’ll get an extra battery, a fast charger and an Firewire cable. I’ll also need a decent external mic and a small tripod, but I need to do some more research before I purchase either one of those items.

Once I’ve got all that, it will just be a question of eventually upgrading the software from GarageBand and iMovie HD to Logic Express and Final Cut Express HD.

And at that point my friends, my all-new digital lifestyle will be nearly complete. I’m counting the seconds!

Oh god, I keep yawning, I’m so tired. Maybe I need to eat something….? I’m going for a sandwich or something. Sorry to have wasted your time.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The VOSS is happening in ONE WEEK! Have you pre-registered? No? Click here and do it!

It’s nearly 5am, London time and it just occurred to me I haven’t posted anything here in my number one blog. It pains me to admit this, but I feel like I’m neglecting my hippyfans just a bit.

I don’t mean to, you are all always on mind and in my heart. Feel the love, fuckers!

My ass has been dragging a bit in the last couple of days, I haven't had nearly enough sleep. I’m going to more than make up for it this morning though as my pillows and I are going to spend some serious quality time together when I get home.

Oh, didn’t I mention that I’m at work. I’m on my fourth night out of six in a row. After that, I’ve got nothing until April, which concerns me somewhat. Mrs. H says not to worry and take it easy this month. She’s right. My colleagues think things will pick-up soon, though I’m not expecting to get booked for any more in March. So it goes.

On the plus side, it means that I’ll have plenty of time to fully immerse myself into my all new digital lifestyle. And what’s the centrepiece of my all new digital lifestyle? You haven’t forgotten already, have you?

It’s my brand new, 20” iMAC G5 supercomputer! I love it already! What’s not to love?

It’s elegantly designed, highly spec’d and has a gorgeous twenty inch screen. I’m a complete Apple convert already. Just call me a geek, but only to my face.

I’m going to order the DV camera, possibly even today, if I can stay awake long enough. And I might pick up the audio interface I’m interested in as well. There’s a discount music shop in the West End that has it at a cheaper price than you can even get it on the web! Perhaps a little journey into town may be in my future as well.

It’s not easy having an all new digital lifestyle, it requires significant amounts of research and large expenditures of cash, but that’s OK. Anything this worthwhile shouldn’t come easily.

I just can’t wait to start reaping the benefits of my all-new digital lifestyle, as soon as someone tells me exactly what they will be.

Here’s something exciting: If I manage to score the audio interface, I’m going to use it to give GarageBand a test drive. GarageBand is the music creation software which comes with the iMAC and is supposed to be pretty good. But what is it exactly I plan on recording?

Some of you will know the answer to this, because you pay attention to every word I write. Yep, you got it, my often threatened, but so far unrealised first single: “Gimme a yipppppeeee (it's the northlondonhippy!).

If I’m able to turn the song in my head into a song I can listen to, I’ll encode it as an MP3 and upload it someplace on the web where all of you hippyfans can download it.

And how much will this northlondonhippy masterwork cost you to download? Sweet fuck all!

That’s right, kids, I’m just going to give it away! How fucking lucky are you?

That’s all I seem to do is give away content. I do it here, I do it even more in the other blog and now I’m going to be giving away my own musically creations.

Damn, hippy, you sure are crazeeee!

If I can do it, I’d like to “release” my first northlondonhippy single onto the net to coincide with my upcoming first anniversary, which is this coming Friday. It could happen!

Oh, and speaking of the other blog, I had more hits on it in the last 36 hours, than I’ve had in the last 6 weeks. Yikes! Thanks to my younger brother putting the link on a couple of sites across the web, I’m doing great business and lots of repeat visitors as well. Sitemeter knows all!

Oh and I got another “fan email” on the second blog, here’s what it said:

“Just been reading your Blog – outstanding, fantastic stuff! You say somewhere you might become a hero for married men, well I think that’s a distinct possibility…..Keep up the good work, Sir!”

Hey! How come I don’t get emails like that from you hippyfans? This is my real blog, I’m the one “living that hippy lifestyle so you don’t have to”!!! Don’t I deserve some praise? Fuckin’ ayyyy, of course I do!

I know that you’re all quite shy and maybe a bit nervous about communicating directly with me. It’s not everyday you deal with “the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of, but not for long.” You don’t need to fear the hippy! I’m cuddly like a puppy and I won’t shit on your carpet!

But it’s ok, you may, of course, continue to worship me from afar, unless you’re in London in which case you can do it with a bit of proximity. Just don’t come to my house, or I’ll sic the dogs on you.

Ok, not dogs, but cats. Really vicious, attack cats.

Ok, they’re not really attack cats, they’re just house cats, but one of them will give you a really nasty scratch if you don’t watch your goddamn step! Fuckers!

Are we having fun yet? I know I am. I’m having more fun than you, but then, I have more fun than everybody!

I just wish I brought a couple of spliffs with me tonight, I could have really done with some to make the time go quicker. On Thursday night, I was extremely busy, and the time flew by. Tonight, I haven’t done much more than warm my seat, but I’m getting paid well for it at least.

A colleague just invited me outside for a smoke, a cigarette if you must know, so I’m going to wrap this up right now.

Be back when I can. Just as long as you’re missing me until then.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

You don’t know about the big VOSS? Click here and you will!

Hey ho fuckers!

I was too tired this morning to post my latest wacky press release, though I did manage to email it out to my favourite media outlets! I might even print out hard copies and post them as well. It couldn’t hurt!

Anyway, here’s a copy of the press release:
----------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday 10th March 2005 - 09:00 GMT
Attn: News Editors / Features Editors / Media Professionals
Subject: The northlondonhippy celebrates the 1st anniversary of his blog, http://northlondonhippy.blogspot.com

The most shroomtastic stoner on the internet, the northlondonhippy is pleased to announce the first anniversary of his blog on Friday, March 18th 2005.

To celebrate this important milestone, the hippy has organised another legendary VOSS on Saturday 19th March 2005.

VOSS stands for "virtual online shroom session", a concept pioneered by the northlondonhippy.

The premise is simple, the hippy will be available online throughout the day on Saturday 19th March, while under the influence of fresh, legal, magic mushrooms. The hippy's fans, based around the world can log onto his special chatroom, take some shrooms themselves (or any other mind-altering substance including alcohol) and spend some quality time virtually chilling out with the hippy.

The hippy explains "my fan base around the world deserves the opportunity to party with me and this is the only practical way I can give them all a fair chance. I just wish I could clone myself and visit each and everyone one of the personally, but science has let me down yet again."

The northlondonhippy lives for his fans, "he's blogging his life away, every night and every day" just for each and every one of them.

"If I can bring just a little bit of happiness and joy to people's otherwise bleak and dreary existences, then I feel like my life on this earth hasn't been wasted", said the hippy sincerely.

Details on the big VOSS and joining instructions can be found on the northlondonhippy blog - http://northlondonhippy.blogspot.com

This VOSS takes on a particular significance as the British government is proposing a ban on the sale of the hippy's favourite funny fungus, fresh magic mushrooms. That means this VOSS could possibly be the very last one.

The hippy begged Tony Blair and Charles Clarke to reconsider the ban. "Gentleman, please be reasonable! Magic mushrooms are the best intoxicant I've ever enjoyed and I should know, I personally put the "fun" in fungus! Please, I would consider it a personal favour if you reconsidered restricting the sale ofshrooms. I said please! Don't take my word for it, at least try some yourselves first, so you can make an educated decision about it."

Both Blair and Clarke were unavailable to comment on the hippy's plaintive plea.


Background:
The northlondonhippy is one of the internet's best kept secrets, he's the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of, but not for long. 2005 is the year of the hippy!

The northlondonhippy started his blog on 18th March 2004 and it has been going strong ever since. Covering a wide range of topics, with well over 300 individual entries, the northlondonhippy blog is more fun than you should be having online!

The hippy has a loyal, dedicated fan base, known affectionately as hippyfans and they hang on his every word. The hippy treats his fans like royalty, there's nothing he won't do for them.

He's held contests to win anything from a chance to "shroom with the hippy" and even his car. There’s nothing that crazeee hippy won’t do to further his quest for worldwide-web domination!

The ‘northlondonhippy blog’ is very personal, the hippy holds nothing back as he "lives the hippy life, so you don't have to…"

The hippy is part philosopher, part media critic and a staunch advocate of natural highs, including and especially: fresh and legal magic mushrooms. He's also an online megalomaniac, but in the nicest sense of the word.

A media professional by trade, the hippy shares his uncensored thoughts and feelings on a wide range of subjects, from politics and current events to the latest in music, film and television.

The hippy also keeps you up to date on aspects of his personal life including his all-new digital lifestyle as well as a diary of his prolific drug consumption.

The northlondonhippy is the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet. He will make you laugh, make you think and make you wish you were a hippy too!

Media availability:
- The northlondonhippy is available for telephone interviews, please email the hippy to reserve a slot.
- The hippy also can be reached via Yahoo messenger all day on Saturday 19th March and before by prior arrangement
- For details on the big VOSS, check the hippy blog - http://northlondonhippy.blogspot.com
- For more information, please email the hippy on northlondonhippy@yahoo.co.uk
###ends###
----------------------------------------------------------------
You never know what this crazeee hippy is going to do next!

Let’s see if anyone picks up on this. They probably won’t, but you never know. This hippy’s happening! Anyone clever, smart and with a dollop of taste will certainly see the sense in featuring my blog!

So if you’ve come here because you received my press release, you could be the first to feature the hippy in your newspaper, glossy magazine or website. Trust me, doing so will make your career and I should know, since I’m a media professional myself!

So that’s it for now, perhaps I’ll return late when things settle down here in my office. Mainly I wanted to share the exciting press release with you all and now that I have, my work here is done.

Bye fuckers!
I’ll be at a real loss, if you don’t come to the big VOSS. Click here for details!

A late hippy is better than no hippy at all. At least that’s my considered opinion. I’m sure you have your own views on the subject.

I’m at my desk, in my office and it’s just past 3:30am. Most of you are probably sleeping and quite frankly I wish I was too. I didn’t get enough sleep on Wednesday, so I am feeling more than a bit tired right now.

Thankfully it has been a rather undemanding evening which suits me just fine. I’m very organised anyway, so everything is under control. Dig it, fuckers!

Mrs. H finally took the iMAC G5 for a test drive. I think she likes the new computer, but she certainly isn’t as enthusiastic as this hippy. That’s ok, it’s really only boys who get excited by toys. She’ll learn to love it in time. How could she not, it’s gorgeous!

My younger brother did something cool for me today, he posted the link to my other blog on a couple of websites. I’ve had more hits in the last 3 hours than I had in the last week, thanks to his sneaky move. The sites he used were all sex-related, so I’m still getting the net-perv brigade, but that’s cool with me. I don’t care who reads it, as long as it gets read!

Of course, net-pervs aren’t going to give me a book deal or ask me to turn it into a screenplay, but you never know. Every new visitor is a potential gateway to success and riches beyond my wildest dreams.

My dreams are pretty wild, so it would be a tall order to fill. As always, I’m keeping an open mind, anything can happen…and it usually does!

This blog, which is my main reason for existing, is also not doing to shabbily, but I appreciate it is more “specialist” than my fictional sex blog. The cool thing about you hippyfans is that you’re loyal and you know a good thing when you find it.

The visitors to the other blog are more interested in masturbating to what I’ve written than the actual literary merits of it. The latest entry, which I posted on Weds morning, is actually laugh-out-loud funny, provided you like your humour dark and close to the bone. I keep finding new lows for my main character to hit. He’s so sleazy it’s not funny.

And you’ll dig this, I’ve begun to give him a cocaine problem. I couldn’t resist and best of all, it’s making his behaviour even worse!

That’s the cool thing about writing fiction, in that universe I’ve created, I am god. I can give and take from my main character at will. It’s loads of fun.

But we know the score on fun, don’t we? I’m always having more fun than you! I have more fun than anybody!

I’m going re-do the “BEST” of the hippy section next week, in honour of my 1st anniversary on this blog. The big day is 18th March, I’m aiming to have the new BoH section up by then.

And don’t forget the big VOSS, which happens on Saturday 19th March. Drop by, party with me virtually and help me celebrate my anniversary. If you’re reading this right now, you’re invited. There’s a link at the top of this page with details on what you need to do to join the fun! A good time will be had by all, or else!

I’m going to keep this relatively brief, but I might be back later this morning, especially if I put out my press release!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

When’s the last time you were part of a VOSS? That long? Click here to join the next one!

Just a flying visit, because I’m at work and the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is just starting on Channel 4. Yes, I’m watching it while I’m at my desk, doesn’t your boss let you watch extreme horror while you’re working.

No? Sounds like you need a new boss.

I know I’m always telling you that I’m having more fun than you, but as you can see, its true. If only they’d let us watch hardcore porn as well, then you’d be convinced.

Thankfully it’s not looking that busy this evening, so I can pretty much do as I please, unless something happens. Something can always happen, that’s just the way it is.

The problem with working tonight is that I’ve had to leave my brand new 20” G5 iMAC at home. It truly is the centrepiece of my all-new digital lifestyle. I’m really glad I bought it and I can’t wait till my life is improved simply by owning it. It won't be long now.

Happiness comes through consumer purchases, didn't you know that? Don't you watch television?

There’s a lot more of you around again this week and I want to welcome all my new visitors. It seems something I signed up for a while ago, is finally paying off.

I belong to a system called SimpleAds, run by a company called Pheedo. Basically, its like a link exchange, I display ads on my blog and earn credits every time I do. In return, they run ads for my blog on loads of other blogs.

I’m supposed to get 2/3’s of a credit for every ad that’s displayed on my blog. There are 2 ads per page, so every time someone looks at my blog, I should get 1 and 1/3 credits. I’m also supposed to spend one credit every time my ad is shown.

Now, here’s where it gets confusing, as my ads (I have 12 of them) have been displayed around 20,000 times in the last week. I haven’t had 10,000 hits here (only in my dreams) so I don’t know why I’m getting all this free publicity.

Does it matter? Maybe someone high-up at Pheedo is a secret hippyfan and they’re making sure I get the attention I so richly deserve!

Remember kids, I’m blogging my life away, every night and every day, just for Y-O-U!

You should be down with the hippy anyway, I’m “the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet” I’m the “biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of”, but not for long. 2005 is the year of the hippy.

So again, welcome to my new visitors and thanks for coming by. It doesn’t matter how you found this blog, just so long as you’re here!

You’re now confirmed as a card carrying member of the vanguard of the internet elite! Well done you for getting this far!

Now that you’re here, you should really bookmark me, so you can come back again and again. Even better, grab the RSS/ATOM feed, so you don’t have to come to the hippy, you can make the hippy come to you!

The name of the game around here is fun and boy, do we have lots of it! I do my best to bring some happiness and joy to your otherwise bleak and dreary existences and mostly I succeed.

Are you having fun yet? Of course you are, fuckers!

A bit of bad news to share with you all, I heard back from the literary agent I’ve been in contact with…she said she can’t do anything with my other, super-secret, fictitious blog. That’s ok, I was expecting that.

I don’t really think she grasped the concept of my blog, or blogs in general. One of her criticisms was that it was written “in real time”. Well, duh! It’s a blog and inherently in its structure is the need for it to be written “in the now”. That’s the whole bloody point!

I’m cool with it, as with any project I might work on, I’d want anyone else involved to understand it and be enthusiastic about it. The problem is, I don’t have any other contacts in the literary world. Perhaps I should turn my attention to television…? There could be a series in it, if I just toned down the graphic sexual content somewhat.

I haven’t written a new entry in the other blog in nearly a week, I’m overdue. I’ve lost a bit of enthusiasm for it, but I’ll re-motivate myself, maybe even tonight.

I’m still torn on what to do with it next. Do I finish the story and just leave it on the net? Do I reveal the northlondonhippy as the evil genius behind it? Do I try to pimp it out even more. I don’t know, maybe it’s an amusing idea that’s not meant to be successful.

As an experiment, it has been very successful. I have an audience of hardcore regulars who check the page several times a day in the hopes of an update. They are often disappointed, but they still check again and again.

People think my character is real, they email him and leave plenty of comments on the blog. If I reveal myself as the creator of this fiction, is it going to anger and alienate my hardcore fans? It’s a tough one.

I already have a sequel in mind, I’ve even registered the name on Blogger. I don’t know what to do. Any suggestions, hints, or offers of a book deal would be gratefully received. You know how to reach me, on my usual email, northlondonhippy@yahoo.co.uk

Also, if you have any thoughts on how I could get the mainstream media to pick up on the other blog, please let me know. I haven’t given up on it yet.

Speaking of promotions, I’ve decided to use the upcoming 1st anniversary of this blog as an excuse to try to promote it some more. I’m drafting an exciting and crazeeeee press release which I will email to the entire UK print media. Don’t worry, since no one ever writes about me in the newspaper, I’m going to post it here, once it’s ready.

Oh and I forgot to send a shout out to Dave Bones, who was kind enough to leave some comments on my blog recently. He runs a website called SOCIALIST WANKER which is a pretty damn good site and worthy of your valuable surfing time. Thanks for taking the time to leave your note, Dave.

I love getting feedback from hippyfans, so if you’ve like to see your name mentioned and receive a big-up from the hippy, all you need to do is leave me some (positive) comments or email me.

I answer all my emails personally, since it’s my secretary’s lifetime off! Sorry, I’m still not doing signed photos. Maybe in my next lifetime!

See, I’ve written more than I expected yet again. Time to go back to work. Stay cool, stay high, stay hippyfans eternally!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Did somebody say something about a big VOSS? Oh yeah, me! Find out more here!

Yes.

"Yes" is a great word, it's the answer you want to just about every question you ask. Its positive, its agreeable, it gives you what you want, most of the time.

Unless the question is: Do I have cancer? You don't want to hear "yes" then. You don't even want to be asking that question, unless you really have to anyway.

I love the word "yes", especially when I'm asking for something. Do you have that in black? Can I have an ounce this time? Can I remove your thong? You get the idea.

But what if the question is: You mean you don't have a driver for my printer that works with my brand new 20" G5 iMAC?

Y-E-S

The fuckers!

I've got an HP 1005 Laserjet printer, around 2 years old and its not supported by OS X. I've checked kids, I even phoned my new friends at Apple.

I got caught out. You can't expect me to check everything, can you?

Sigh. Ho hum. What's a hippy to do?

Not worry about it too much, naturally. I can still connect it to my old PC, which when I clear some space, will be set up again and wi-fi'd into my new home network. It won't be pretty, but I can send things to the other PC, then print them from there. Or I could just buy another printer. Maybe someday.

The good news is my new Sony Ericcson s700i and the iMAC are now good friends. I had some trouble getting some of the more basic bluetooth functions to work, but now it's all groovy. I can send still pics and video from the phone...I can even use the phone as a full remote control for the computer, though I don't really know why I would want to do that exactly. I'll also be able to send SMS messages from the computer through the phone, which is a useful thing, since my keyboard is a lot easier to type on than a mobilephone keypad.

And the coolest thing is that this hippy successfully took the back cover of the iMAC off, removed the mingy 256mb of RAM and replaced it with 2gigs of compatible RAM all by himself. I didn't fuck it up or anything. Net time: 3 minutes. It was piss easy, even a hippy could do it.

I'm slowly coming to grips with the differences between Windows and Mac OS X. Though they are subtle, there are a lot of them. I'm not sure if I am sold on the one button mouse, though it helps that I've discovered you can re-create a right click by holding down the "ctrl key" when you click. I might replace the mouse with a 2 button, scroll wheel model, if I don't get accustom to it soon.

The keyboard is very good, excellent feel and action. Again, the layout is slightly different and the keyboard shortcuts aren't the same, but I'm getting there.

Both the keyboard and mouse are bluetooth, and I get on to the net via wi-fi, so there are no cables cluttering my desk at all. The whole set-up is very elegant, minimalist and clean. I really like it.

The 20" display is gorgeous, even better than it looked in the shop. It's massive and widescreen, so again I'm very impressed.

Overall, my first impressions of my brand new 20" G5 iMAC are very positive, I'm looking forward to going a bit deeper with the applications. I should have some time next week to play with iPhoto, iTunes, and maybe even GarageBand. And if I order my new Sony PCR HC42E next week, iMovie and iDVD might get a test drive as well.

So if you asked if I was enjoying my all new digital lifestyle, the centerpiece of which is my all new iMAC, the answer would be only one word:

YES.

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