VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Like yo. Fuckers! Howsit hangin’?

Mine doesn’t hang, it always stands up rigid, but then I live next door to a Viagra factory and I inhale a lot of the fumes. Watch out, or I’ll take your eye out with it!

How about a big round of applause for the police? Betcha never thought you’d read that from me, but even I’m impressed with the results of their hunt for the failed bombers of 21 July.

All four of the suspects are now in custody, 3 of them here in the UK and one in Rome. Well done coppers! It was an impressive bit of police work. You’ve all done so well, that you can take tomorrow off and leave all of us drug users alone for a day!

Not that you actually hassle us that much, especially in London and especially for spliff. You should really stick to the genuine criminals, like these AQC bombers and not us poor innocent patrons of the chemical arts!

And if you forgot, AQC = Al Qaeda Cunts. I hate them. They are scumfucking cunts of the worst order. Go on, I’m still waiting for that fatwa. Declare a jihad on my ass, I fucking dare you! Cunts!

But the fun’s not over, not yet anyway. If you believe the experts and you should, since they are experts, they say there are more AQC folks ready to blow up more bombs. I hope not.

The truth is, you’ve got more of a chance being caught in a security alert on the tube than getting blown up. The scares will continue, let’s hope the bombing doesn’t.

I missed delivery of my iLap on Friday morning, the postman rang twice before I got home from work. That’s ok, as I’ll swing by the post office on the way home and collect it. That means I might do a bit of surfing from bed, before drifting off to sleep. That would be very cool.

Other than that, it’s been a tad busy here in the “smile factory” and it’s only in the last ½ hour that things have settled down. I’m about 6 hours away from my departure, which means I’ve been here for 6 hours already. Don’t envy me for my glamorous media lifestyle, envy me because I’m high almost all the time!

Except right now, I’m stone cold sober. Yawn, booo, hiss!

I’d love to sit here and type my special brand of drivel all night, but I should pretend I have some work to do. Maybe catch you tomorrow my beloved hippyfans and fuckers alike!

Friday, July 29, 2005

Hey fuckers!

As threatened, I’m at work and ready to bore you to tears. Have you got your tissues ready?

And why shouldn’t I bore you? I’m bored myself, nearly rigid. I’m checking for a pulse at regular intervals, just in case I died and no one told me to go lie down.

Weird day in London today, but that’s because it was a Thursday. Thursday is the day AQC’s try to blow up our transport network. Or so they say.

It was 3 weeks ago that the AQC’s scored a direct hit and killed a shitload of people. It’s one week since they failed to repeat their actions. Thursday’s the day, so think the authorities.

This week, when Thursday rolled around, the old bill were ready for them. They had around 6,000 police (2 x shifts of 3,000) on patrol at all major transport stations. About ½ the cops were armed, which is very rare here, where mostly the police carry truncheons and wear funny hats.

The overtime bill for the police on Thursday? Reportedly, ½ a million quid. That’s around $750,000 US, if you prefer. Fucking hell. How long can they keep this up?

Central London is not a ghost town, but any one who can avoid a journey on a bus or a tube train, is doing just that. It’s the poor schlubs who need to go to work every day that are still taking public transportation. But the shoppers and lunchers and site-seers, are all staying home.

Who can blame them? If you are like me, and you like your ass attached right where it is, you’d want to avoid trains, buses and the like.

They say the AQC’s will strike again, they don’t know where or when. Comforting. I’ll sleep easy today!

We live in the future. The future is now. This is what life in the big city has become.

Have you every seen the Terry Gilliam film, “Brazil”? If you haven’t, you should. In it, terrorist bombs become everyday occurrences, to the point where people don't blink an eye when one goes off.

Is London becoming what was predicted in that dystopian view of the future?

I fucking hope not.

These are depressing times. I’m tired of all of it. All things considered, I’d rather be on drugs. Thankfully, most of the time I am.

Oh and if you haven’t read my previous, recent posts, I’ll decode AQC for you.

AQC = Al Qaeda Cunts. I’m hoping it will be in common usage in no time.

See ya fuckers.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Hey fuckers. This is a flying visit.

I'm logged on via my iBook, surfing wirelessly from my sofa. Dig it!

Apple did it to me again, less than a week after receiving my lovely new iBook, they've updated the line. Grrrrr, they did the same with the iMACs, only that time it was 6 weeks or so and not a few days. I got one of the last of the 1.2mhz versions of the 12" model. So it goes.

Whether its 6 days or 6 months, everything electronic you buy is out of date at some point. As long as it does what you want it to, it doesn't really matter. There will always be something cheaper, snazzier, better on the horizon, arriving in the shops sooner than you expect.

Ok, I am a little pissed off, but what can you do. If I'd know it was coming, I would have waited. But I didn't. Its still a great little laptop.

This is my first entry from the iBook. It's more comfortable than I expected. I ordered the iLap yesterday and when it comes, it will be even more comfy. Mrs. H is surfing on the iMac right now, we're a 2 computer family.

I spent a good portion of today cleaning out my conservatory. It's a evil little glass room at the end of my lounge, which until this morning was full of crap, dead plants and other assorted detrious. My little kitten, who's not so little any more, tore the place apart. She even manager to pull down the ceiling blinds and the wooden beam they were attached to.

You can't underestimate the damage a 4 month old kitten can do when it sets its mind to it. Fucking hell. It's a damn good thing I smoke tons of strong dope, or I might have gotten upset.

You can't get upset with the cutest kitten in the world, can you?

When the beam came down, it smashed some glass and ceramic items, including plant pots. She also pulled a couple of big dead plants apart. The floor was covered with dirt, twigs, broken glass and bits of ceramic. I filled 2 black bags with shit, I cleaned it all up, replaced the beam, fixed the blind and generally made it a lot more cat-friendly.

Go hippy go!

She was left alone quite a bit, while I was sleeping during the day and working at night and Mrs. H was visiting her family. Kittens don't like to be alone, which is why she has been so destructive. I'll share some of the blame with my little cute kitten. It's only fair.

I had a very dull night last night, Tuesday. No drugs (except for spliff, of course), no hookers, strippers, or women of easy virtue. I watched tv and had some of my favourite Malaysian takeaway. Yummmm. I didn't even shroom. I was too tired to do anything like that.

I didn't do much beyond cleaning the mess out of the conservatory, I changed the linen on the bed and washed the sheets and towels. I'm well trained. I had loads of other things I was planning on doing, including a pile of paperwork on my desk, but I didn't get to it. That's not good..

Why? I'm back at work tomorrow night for 4 fun-filled evenings of doing next to nothing. I do get paid though, which is my main motivation. It doesn't leave me much hippy time though.

And check this out, I'm pretty much working 4 on, 3 off from now until September.

Money, good, lack of free time, bad.

Anyway, no doubt I'll be back tomorrow night with another one of my ultra-dull posts from work tomorrow night. Go on, keep hitting refresh until I do. That way you can be the very first hippyfan to dig it!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Right now, I’m having more fun than you. That’s ok, because I have more fun than anyone!

I’m at work, stone-cold sober and not that busy. It’s a fiddly night already and I’m not even half way through my shift. Roll on 7:30am, which is when I start my run of about 60 hours outside of this place, before I return on Thursday night. Don’t envy me for my glamorous media lifestyle, envy me because I’m hung like a horse and a lot more fun to ride! Giddiyap fuckers!

I overslept again tonight. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than oversleeping for a nightshift. It really fucks you up for the entire evening. I haven’t been very clever tonight either, which is very unlike me.

For starters, when I trimmed my beard this evening, which was long overdue, I neglected to set the length thingy correctly, which meant I looked up in the mirror and half my beard was suddenly skin. Ut oh. Damage limitation means I now have quite a wanky goatee beard. Sometimes this hippy is a twat.

I still managed to leave earlier than normal for the office, which I thought was essential following my horrendous drive on Sunday night. Doh! The traffic was ridiculously light, which was totally unexpected, especially for a weeknight. I was really fucking early for work. Ut oh.

I’m still quite tired, I haven’t caught up yet from my lack of sleep on Friday and Saturday. I’ll probably sleep all day tomorrow, once I’ve done a few things around the house. Cleaning things, very dull. What I would like to do is take some drugs tomorrow night, perhaps the last of my shroomies. If I can get everything I need done in the morning and have a nice long nap, that might happen.

I can’t remember the last time I shroomed, it’s been months and months I think. And you wonder why I’m not shroomtastic anymore!

Don’t worry, I haven’t purchased anymore, not since they were foolishly reclassified. It’s just a tiny bit I have left over, which is probably chemically inert by now anyway. We’ll see. All I need to do is skip dinner and I can check them out. If they’re duds, I’ll just order a pizza or some of my favourite Malaysian take-away. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Food is not a substitute for drugs, but it would still be nice.

Other than that, I’ve got no real plans for my 60 hours off. Mrs. H is back on Weds evening, which will be cool. I’m going to geek out with my iBook.

I can’t recall if I mentioned that it arrived on Friday afternoon, about 3 hours before I had to leave for work. Typical Apple, it was set up and online in about 3 mins. Fuck Microsoft and Windows, OS X is the only way to go.

The laptop is lovely, small, easy to use and very cool. I’ve ordered an additional 1gb of RAM, which should arrive on Tuesday. I’m also going to order one of THESE. I’ve found a company in the UK with the 12” version in stock. A mate of mine at work has one for his PowerBook and swears by it. As well as keeping the computer cool by dissipating the heat, it also makes it easier to use the laptop when you’re sprawled out on the sofa. And it doubles as a desk stand too! I’m looking forward to getting one.

Beyond that exciting geek news, life for me this week should be pleasingly dull. Of course, if you’re in London and would like to entertain me on Tuesday or Wednesday this week, I’m always open to offers of hard drugs and casual sex. Ideally, a combination of both would sort me right out, but then that’s probably true of every single adult on the planet! Have fun, fuckers!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Here’s the thing:

The head of the Metropolitan police in London says that more innocent people might be shot accidentally by armed coppers as they hunt for the remaining bombers. That’s comforting.

There’s a good account of what happened to the man mistakenly shot by the police at Stockwell tube on Friday, in Monday morning’s Times. You can read it yourself right HERE.

There are a couple of worrying things in this account of what happened. Specifically, eye witnesses said there was no verbal warning to the man, even though they claim they shouted. And even more worrying, the Brazilian man had been recently mugged in the same area, which could explain why he was running away from these plainclothes policeman.

Maybe you can tell, but I find all of this very unsettling.

I’ve got longish hair, a beard and I’m half Italian, perhaps I could be mistaken for a terrorist. Also, I carry a backpack frequently. If anyone yells stop at me, I’m hitting the deck double quick and hoping they don’t blow my brains out. You know it makes sense!

Even better, I’m staying off the tube and buses as much as possible. I'm really glad I've got my little Yaris!

When I moved to London, nearly 15 years ago, I could never have imagined this city turning into a warzone. Life’s full of surprises.

I wish the Al Qaeda cunts would just fuck off. From this point on, I shall be referring to them as the AQC (Al Qaeda Cunts) because that’s what these scumfuckers are. I hate them, but that’s OK, because they hate me and my immoral western values even more. It all balances out!

I’m still waiting for someone to declare a fatwa against me. If the jihad ends up on my doorstep, I’m ready…to run! I like my ass where it is, attached to the rest of me.

I’m having a rather dull and uninspiring evening at work, which I’m sure is of little interest to all of you. Tough. I’m bored and boring you at the same time, how’s that for multi-tasking.

It’s my third night of four, so one more to go. I can’t wait until Tuesday morning, when I’m finished.

My poor little 4-month old kitten has it the worse than me, she’s been cooped up in my living room for 22 hours a day while Mrs. H is away. She was positively insane when I arrived home on Sunday morning, literally bouncing off the walls. I feel really sorry for her, but I don’t have any other option. I wish I could bring her to work with me, but obviously that’s not an option. She’s far to crazy to go anywhere!

Mrs. H is back on Weds evening, which means I’m off and on my own on Tuesday night, so it could be party time, hippy stylie. I could finish off the last of my secret, totally illegal shroom stash….? We’ll see.

Fucking hell, I’m yawning my head off and I still have around 4 hours to go.

Remember kids, don’t envy me for my glamorous media lifestyle, envy me because I’m stoned all the time!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Yipppppeeeee for the hippy!

Go on, now you say it. Don’t worry, no one else in the room will think you’re weird. They’re probably not even paying attention to you anyway!

It’s an ungodly hour, just about 4:30am. I’m sitting here like a twat at work, with precious little to do. If I’m lucky, I’ll be out of here in less than 3 hours. Here’s hoping I’m lucky.

Mrs. H is visiting her family this weekend, so I’m on my own when I get home, except for my cats. My older ones are fine and can amuse themselves, but my (now 4 month old) kitten is who I feel sorry for. She’s on her own for around 22 hours a day, until I finish work on Tuesday. Hopefully she’s not too depressed by her loneliness.

I’m still quite tired, I didn’t get nearly enough sleep on Saturday. Don’t ask.

The world keeps getting weirder, at least that’s something.

The bombs in Sharm el-Sheik (that’s in Egypt, if you’re an American based hippyfan) were pretty nasty and killed loads of people. Al Qaeda are cunts. These days, every two-bit fanatic claims to be with Al Qaeda. It’s turning into a major franchise, like McDonalds or Krispy Kreme, only with less fatty, deep-fried food.

And hey, you Al Qaeda cunts…! Don’t like being called a cunt. Tough fucking shit. Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!

(I am anonymous here online still, aren’t I?)

Damn right, you Al Qaeda cunts, stick a fatwa on me. I laugh at your fatwa. Ha. Ha. Ha.

The police here in London made a bit of a boo-boo, they clipped a young Brazilian man at Stockwell tube station on Friday. Ooooops, I bet they’re red-faced with embarrassment.

Here’s the thing: In London, the police rarely carry guns and rarely do they shoot anyone, guilty or otherwise. It’s very uncommon here. Extremely uncommon….unheard of really. That might seem strange to you, but that’s how things work here in Blighty.

I know I’m being a bit flippant and I do really feel badly for the dead Brazilian man and his family, but…

If you haven’t read a detailed report on what happened to this guy, I’ll attempt to explain. Following the deadly attacks on the transport network in London on 7/7, the police have been on the highest state of alert possible. The attempt on 21/7, which failed, made the cops even twitchier. That’s the context. Now, let’s flash forward to Friday.

Some armed, undercover police had a block of flats in south London under surveillance. A man emerged from the building and the cops followed him onto a bus. I’m sure they could tell he was foreign, though unlikely they could surmise his nationality. Crucially, he was wearing a heavy jacket on a hot summer’s day. That, from what I can tell, more than anything else was what made his behaviour particularly alarming. Heavy jackets are known for concealing suicide bomb-belts and vests.

The police followed him to Stockwell tube and while outside, the police told him to stop. He didn’t, instead he vaulted over the ticket barrier, with the coppers in hot pursuit. He made it as far as a waiting tube train on the platform, but tripped as he got on and he ended up flat on his belly. The police executed him with five head shots, at very close range.

Sorry if you disagree of my usage of the word “executed”, but that’s how I see it.

The police had to make a snap decision, one I would not want to make myself. As they thought he might be a suicide bomber, they didn’t take any chances. Were they right? In hindsight no, of course not, but then who ever is? I think they did the only thing they could do, which is not take any chances and risk any civilian lives.

The police involved will now be investigated and there is a chance they will be found guilty of wrongful killing or some such Orwellian description for their actions. I hope this doesn’t happen, as it will inspire other policeman to refuse to carry weapons. I hope the Met backs that up to the hilt and makes sure what they did is deemed to be lawful. Here’s hoping, eh?

But what about the Brazilian guy? Why did he run? The cops identified themselves and he was apparently a fluent English speaker. A colleague of mine at work has a theory that he might have had some drugs on him. This is London, most people do! Perhaps he thought it was a bust and panicked. I hope not.

Spliff is good, it’s god’s gift to my lungs, but fuck me it’s not worth dying for, is it!

Perhaps he was in the country illegally and he thought they were immigration officers. We’ll never know.

God, it’s all so mind numbingly depressing. I’m becoming an old fart who says things like “remember the days before London was a killing zone.” How dull.

I’m not one of those people who think things were better in the good old days. That’s nonsense and you know it. Life is change, change is good, very good really. If everything stayed the same, think how boring the world would be.

Ok, I’m sure some of you will take exception to that. How can I say all change is good, when the recent changes include bombs on the Underground and innocent Brazilians being executed. I don’t think those things are good either. So I am talking crap.

But wait, what makes us special, what makes us cool is our ability to cope with and accommodate change. The world will keep changing, as long as we can adapt to it, we’ll always be fine.

I’m adapting already. You won’t see me on the tube with backpack slung over my shoulder, ever again!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

The cunts have done it again. Well, nearly.

Four bombs, three tube lines, one bus....sound familiar?

Welcome to attack on London transport, the sequel!

This time it was more of a damp squib than absolute carnage, but the overall effect is the same. We’re all scared! I don’t know about you, but I’m in no rush to take a ride on a tube train into central London.

The devices, either didn’t fully detonate or were only meant to cause panic. My guess is there was a malfunction, assuming all the bombs were manufactured by the same person. The same mistake on all of them, meant only the detonator went off.

Unless these four were a diversion, meant to be a smokescreen to cover-up another attack. I saw them arrest a couple of middle-easterny looking guys near Downing Street on TV, so anything at this point, is possible.

A fortnight ago, it was much different, with those bombs causing maximum destruction, devastation and loss of life. Today’s fireworks had the potential to do the same, but didn’t.

Have you seen a map of today’s attacks. Again, like 2 weeks ago, the bombs went off in all four directions of the compass, north, south, east and west. In the shape of a cross. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not.

Also like 2 weeks ago, it was the same number of tube trains and buses. Copycat? The same group? Something fishier? Who knows?

Luckily, I’m home, as is Mrs. Hippy. I phoned my younger brother, he was thankfully home too, though was just preparing to head out to ONE OF THE AFFECTED STATIONS when he heard the news, just prior to my call. Had he been 45 mins to an hour earlier, he might have been caught up in it or worse.

Thankfully as well, I’m not working tonight as I expect London to be a gridlocked, snarled up mess for anyone foolish enough to need to travel. I’m staying home, just in case I need to put my head between my legs and kiss my ass goodbye.

I’m working on Friday night though. Actually, from Friday, I’m working 8 out of 10 nights. Yippppeee for the hippy and his near-suicidal work schedule! The work is piss easy, but the hours are long. The money’s decent, so its more than worth it.

No iBook yet! Bummer, man. The tracking system has been slow to update and the latest I know is that it allegedly left Eindhoven last night. Usually, it makes City Airport in East London, the next day, but so far no sign of it. It would be nice if it came tomorrow, but with all this nonsense going on in London, I’m not going to hold my breath!

I know receiving my high end electronic consumer goods is not the most important thing in the world, especially not today, but it still doesn’t make me want it any less. I wish my dinky little laptop was here so I could surf from the sofa, while watching tv.

I’m a media junky and I’ve yet to discover how to overdose. I can’t get enough information, it really is like a drug to me and I need a constant fix! Is it any wonder I smoke so much god damn dope!

Speaking of dope, a mate at work is trying to score for me. I laid some dosh on him the other night, so hopefully he will come across for me with a “Kylie.”

Don’t know what a “Kylie” is? Its what all the really cool drugheads call an ounce of weed. Why? Kylie Minogue is Australian, Australia is often referred to as “Oz”. “Oz” is an abbreviation of ounce. Dig it! Now you’ve learned something!

How about a “henry”? Henry the eighth, as in an eighth of an ounce of weed. A double henry is a quarter ounce, 1/2 a Kylie is a half ounce, now you’re really digging it!

I really only buy Kylies, as you usually save a bit when you score this much. Plus the way I smoke the shit, I need to have that much around just to keep up!

I’m hoping my work-mate comes through, as I don’t have many other options at this point! Unless you’re in London and you can help! Are you? Can you? Please get in touch otherwise this hippy will be scoring on the street and we can’t have that. Can we?

On a day like today, I hope you all have some nice weed to puff on, or at least some valium. Living in London is becoming even more stressful. Who would have thought that was possible.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Oh yeah, dig it.

The hippy is here, all hail the hippy. I used to be “the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet”, but no more….

I’m still “the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of” and that’s a title I won’t soon relinquish. I can’t, since no one seems to bother reading this blog any more.

I remember a time, when this blog was happening; it was the real "in-thing" on the internet. Oh, those heady, crazy days when I was on top of my game.

Where did it all go wrong?

How long have you got?

Obviously, I’m exaggerating or you wouldn’t be here now, would you?

I’m still cool, still happening, still the hippy you adore (and maybe lust after just a tiny bit) and still just as outspoken as ever. I’m still “blogging my life away, every night and every day, just for you!”

This blog should have brought me fame, fortune and teenage groupies, but the truth is, it’s brought me nothing…but pleasure, obviously, as I “live the hippy life, so you don’t have to.”

In other news...

My iBook left Shanghai on Sunday and arrived in the Netherlands on Monday. I’ve been tracking its progress online. How sad is that? There’s a slight chance it might arrive today, but a better chance of it appearing on Wednesday. The sooner it comes, the better!

I’m at work, with around an hour to go and I’m off for the next 3 nights. It will be party time hippy-stylie! Dig it, fuckers!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Hey, hey…it’s the northlondonhippy!

Who were you expecting? The king of fucking Siam?

I’m at work, yawn, yawn, not much cookin’ here, so I’m bored. And when I’m bored, I inflict my views on the wider world through this very blog. How cool is that?

Depends on whether or not you are down with the hippy!

It’s now Monday 18th July 2005, which is the day my beloved fresh magic mushrooms become a “class A” substance here in the UK. It’s a sad day indeed and I’m missing them already.

As I said, I didn’t place one last order prior to the ban. I may consume the bit I have at home, though I expect they have since lost their potency. For me, shrooms are now a mere memory. Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo fucking hoo!

Maybe the ban will be lifted. Maybe not. Time will tell.

I’m waiting for my iBook. Not now, obviously, since I’m at work, but I had an email from Apple, saying it was shipped out on Friday. It could, conceivably come as early as today (Monday) though I expect Tuesday or Wednesday are more likely. Tuesday would be cool, since I finish work on Tuesday and I’m not back until Friday night. That would give me more than ample time to get it up and running.

I don’t really have that much to say tonight and I’m feeling a tad down for no good reason. My dearly departed father has been on my mind, as has my mother. I don’t know why.

I hate it when I’m low for no good reason. It’s dull. It’s boring. It’s tedious. I really wish I had some hard drugs to improve my mood, but I’ve asked around and no one has any to share. The greedy pigs! They are hording all the good drugs for themselves.

The heatwave here in London continues and I think that it’s messing with my sleep. I don’t think I’ve actually had a good, deep sleep in over a week. There’s no sign of the temperature breaking anytime soon and it’s only the middle of July. I expect August will be even worse!

I think I’m going to sign off now. Actually, I’m sure of it. If I think of anything clever or entertaining to say, I’ll bop on back, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Catch ya next time my beloved hippyfan fuckers!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Hello and welcome to the northlondonhippy blog. I hope you enjoy your stay. Don't forget to visit our well-stocked giftshop as you're leaving. Who wouldn't want a northlondonhippy keepsake or souvenir?

From Monday, 18th July, my beloved magic mushrooms will be a "class A" substance here in the UK. I've not ordered any before the deadline, so for me they are already banned. Ok, I do have a tiny bit tucked away, which were accidentally dried, but those are probably no good any more anyway and I might as well trash them. So that's it, adios shrooms, it was great while it lasted!

I was a major proponent of safe, responsible shroom consumption and used this blog as a forum for my views. As someone with a minor following on the internet (major surely!), I feel it is my responsibility to provide my view of the situation.

The Entheogen Defense Fund is continuing to fight this silly and unjust legislation. To add your support, click on the link. There is still a chance, however slim that this ill conceived law could be overturned by the EU. Here's hopin' and prayin' and wishin' and dreamin' to that one, fuckers!

My view is simple, choosing to break a law is a matter of personal choice. The speed limit is law, yet all of us who drive are guilty of breaking it at one time or another. Weed is foolishly illegal, yet I continue to smoke it with abandon.

Though here's the difference, weed is currently "class C" and before that, "class B", "class A" is a whole other ballgame. The penalties for class A drugs, which also include heroin and cocaine, are very stiff and severe. To me, as good as shrooms are, they are not worth the relative risk.

This is why, from this day forward, I will NO LONGER BE THE MOST SHROOMTASTIC STONER ON THE INTERNET!

Yes, you read that correctly, I'm giving up my self-proclaimed title and status. I've thought about this for a long time now and it just wouldn't be right to use the term "shroomtastic" to describe myself any more. It would be false advertising as well as possibly attracting the wrong kind of attention.

Blame the British government and their knee-jerk reaction to a modest commercial market in fresh magic mushrooms, truffles and grow kits.

But what this means in real terms to the blog is that this hippy needs a brand new tagline. Maybe you can help! If you have any suggestions, please email them to me at northlondonhippy@yahoo.co.uk

There's no prize for this one, except the pleasure in possessing the knowledge that your suggestion is the winner and will appear on the top of my blog! Yippppeeeeeee

In other news:

It's been blisteringly hot here in my little corner of north London for the last week or so, which means my purchase of a portable airconditioner has continued to be a good one. I'm one cool hippy, my fuckers! I'm sitting next to it now, as I type my special brand of drivel. Brrrrrrrr, baby!

I ordered my 12" iBook a couple of days ago and it's already been shipped. I spec'd it up slightly, with the 80gb hard drive (instead of 30gb) and I went for the very useful bluetooth option.

It's shipping with the basic 256mb of RAM, though it is expandable to 1.25gb. In other words, there's one additional slot for a max of 1gb. Apple wanted £340 for this upgrade, but Crucial Memory charge 88 quid for the same size RAM. For £250 quid, I can install it myself, it doesn't look that tricky, though if I fuck it up, say goodbye to the warranty. The fuckers. I'll risk it and gamble for that sort of saving.

I've also ordered a neoprene case for it, thKensingtonon Bluetooth PocketMouse (small, portable and tracks on any surface) and since I was doing all this through my Union discount, I was offered the chance to buy Microsoft Office for Mac for about 75% off, which made it a bargain. Normally it's like 400 quid, so it is a real savings for what I know is a very useful product.

I received the email that it was shipped today, so the absolute earliest it could arrive is Monday, but that is very optimistic, with Tuesday or Wednesday being more likely. Once I install a few key bits of software and add it to my network, I should be wirelessly online with it in no time flat. I already have airport express, so adding it should be a piece of piss. I can't wait.

It's turning out to be quite a financially rewarding summer for me, work-wise, so I can afford to treat myself to this luxury. Yipppeee to that!

I was going to write a bit about the London bombing and thidentificationon of the British born suspects, but there are far better articles to read in the newspapers for me to bother commenting. Perhaps it's just fear fatigue. I tired of being scared by the whole thing. I was suppose to meet my younger brother in town for lunch last week, but ended ucancelingng. Not because of fear, though inconvenience may have played a part. It doesn't really matter, the point is I haven't been back on the tube since the blasts.

I don't ride the tube that much these days anyway, so it's not a big deal, I just think there's a certaidefiancece to riding it now. My brother has taken a few journeys, outside of rush hour and reports that the trains remain fairly empty.

If you have to commute by tube, tough shit, you don't have a choice, but the daytrippers, shoppers, lunchers and the like, they do have a choice and they seem to be staying home.

To me, when your number is up, that's it and no amount of avoidance will save you. My advice, is live your life, do whatever you want to do. If you don't, you might really be letting the terrorists win.

I can't believe I just said that. I let the terrorists win all the time. Mrs. H has suggested we take holidays in places like Egypt and Turkey and I've vetoed them on the basis that western tourists are terrorist targets.

I've been proven right, as today's suicide bus bombing in Turkey and prior recent attacks in Egypt will demonstrate. So the terrorists have won with me, but my ass is still attached. On this point, I'm happy to let Al Qaeda and it's associates get the better of me.

Perhaps sometimes, letting the terrorists win, is the smart response. Let's face it, if you can avoid the tube or like me, you have the luxury of driving to your London-based job, you should and will!

Life, post September 11, 2001 is different, even if it is only in small ways. If you've been barefoot in an airport, you will know exactly what I mean.

Think about this, if you see a young Muslim out and about in London, perhaps with a rucksack slung over his shoulder, will you look at him the same way you did on the 6th of July? Of course you won't.

Life is change, change can be good, change can be bad. Change is change, it is the only one true constant. The one thing I can promise you is that over time, everything changes. You're changing right now and you don't even feel it. Unless you're like me and rapidly becoming old and decrepit!

God, all this is making me want to kick back, spark up a spliff and not worry about anything. What's the point of worrying anyway? It gets you nowhere and whatever is going to happen, is going to happen whether you waste your energy worrying about it or not.

Anyone else care to join me in getting high?

Monday, July 11, 2005

It's nearly 10am north London time, I'm home, awake and blogging already. Who says this hippy is predictable?

I thought I would treat all my loyal hippyfans to a little blast of my terrific prose. How lucky are you?

I was planning on meeting my younger brother for lunch in central London today, but we've decided to cancel. Yes, we are letting the terrorists win and I'm missing out on some gorgeous smoked BBQ meat. It truly is a sad day.

I'm actually not feeling great, which is why I decided not to go, but I will admit that the transport difficulties also are playing a part in my decision and my brother's. Even Mrs. H had a lousy drive to work today and she doesn't go into the center. It took her three times longer than usual to get to her office.

And because the they weren't suicide bombers, the authorities think another attack is likely sooner rather than later. The perps are still on the loose, so keep your eye out for any suspicious behaviour and report it to the coppers straight away!

So is London a warzone now? Hardly, you only need to look at Baghdad to see the difference. In Baghdad, attacks and suicide bombings are a regular, nearly daily occurrence. In London, it's nothing like that....yet.

So is this the trend of the future? A simple trip to work can put your life at risk. Maybe. I'm glad I drive most of the time now.

With all this talk about death and destruction, shouldn't we all be taking lots of hard drugs and having sex with strangers? Isn't that the sane response to an insane situation? Perhaps its just me then.

Life is too short, kiddies. Now there's an original observation if ever I read one. And its getting shorter by the day.

I don't do hard drugs any more and I don't know any strangers. That leaves me a bit stuck.

I could start doing hard drugs again. The only thing stopping me is me.

And of course I don't know any strangers, that's the whole point of strangers! You don't know them!

What a fat load of shit this entry is turning into. You started out strong hippy, with purpose and direction, but look at you! It has turned to poo!

Maybe blogging in the morning, just after I wake up is actually a pretty crap idea. Sorry for wasting your rather valuable surfing time.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Hey hey, my my, I really wish I was fucking high!

I'm at work, moan moan, bored and just killing time. I've got about 2 hours remaining and the clock just ain't moving quick enough.

I think I've been repressing my feelings about the bombs in London. That's what I do with particularly disturbing stuff. Perhaps its starting to sink in finally.

I've listened to some of the eye witness acounts of what happened, and one guy I saw on tv really woke me up to the absolute horror that was the underground on Thursday. His description of the carnage that confronted him in the immediate aftermath of the blast was enough to put me off taking the tube, ever again.

Now, I know that's quite silly. I live in London, the tube is the only quick way to get around, especially in central London and especially on weekdays. I'm not really in a position to say I'll never take the tube again, but I could certainly try.

I hate the tube on the best of days. I'm a touch claustraphobic and a packed, rush-hour train, like the ones that went boom on Thursday, is my worst nightmare. When I'm on a train that's delayed in a tunnel, even briefly, I start to tense up.

The idea of being trapped in a tube train, wedged between people, packed to the walls, in the dark, following an explosion, waiting to be evacuated is enough to make me shit my goddamn pants!

Like I said, it's sinking in.

I did quite enjoy Friday night's eviction on Big Brother. Yes, this hippy is a BB fan, in a big way. Especially this year. Maxwell was thrown out and that made me happy. Well, happier.

I didn't like him from the start and I won't waste your time explaining why. If you're that interested, check out DigitalSpy, for more details than I could possibly provide. He was a lout, a loser and a smug git. Bye bye Maxwell, you're now literally "off the hook".

And please, to all you glossy magazine editing shit-for-brains cunts, do not give Maxwell and his fat-assed bint, Saskia any money for their stories. They don't deserve it!

Shit, I've got some work to do. Catch ya next time, my fucking fuckers!

Friday, July 08, 2005

Hello fuckers and my beloved hippyfans! I hope you’re all safe and well.

Helluva day in London today, as you are all no doubt aware. The cunts hit and hit hard, London came to a stand-still on Thursday. They said it would happen and way-hey, it did!

One of the tube trains that was hit was on the line that this hippy lives on in north London, which sent a special shiver down my spine. Thank god I don’t have a normal job, or work normal hours, or they could have been scraping my insides from the ground.

It’s all fucking scary.

I’m at work tonight, where it’s busier than normal. Hardly a surprise with a big story happening in my backyard. At least its making the night go more quickly.

I don’t think it’s all sunk in yet, it still feels quite surreal. There’s an uneasy calm all over London, with people accepting this event far too easily.

This is life in the modern world. No one is safe, everywhere is a potential target. It doesn’t matter where you are, or what you’re doing, if the bad guys want to get you, they will. Please spare a thought for all the people here who’ve been affected by this evil.

Four bombs and rush-hour crowds, don’t make for a happy ending.

Fuck it. Just fuck it. And fuck them too!

I spent most of the day glued to my television, watching events unfold. Who folded the events in the first place? Thankfully, Mrs. H and my younger brother are both safe and well.

I hope everyone you all care about is safe and well too!

Enough of this! If you want to read the news, check out a news site. This is the hippyblog, dammit!

I might have a line on another job, a really superneatocool job, that I would dump my current position for in a New York second! Don’t want to say too much, but send me those good vibes. I’ll be following up on it next week, with my fingers crossed.

I’m still drooling over iBooks, still planning on getting one last shroom order in before the ban, in 9 days. That’s enough to keep me busy, ain’t it?

Finally, an even bigger shout-out to meshman, who’s a hippyfan I can truly be proud of…he helped me sort out my display problem and now this blog is looking summer-fresh! Thanks meshman, really appreciate your advice!

And on that note, fuckers, I bid you adieu. Catch ya next time!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Thanks for the advice, meshman. I've tried what you suggested and it's still not perfect, but it is better. It's a problem with Blogger and it started when they did their last update.

If they were easier to contact, I would point the problem out to them. Oh fuck it, I will anyway. They should be told!

I'm still recovering from my 2 night guest appearance at work and feeling decidely sluggish. I'm back on Thursday night, so it's not much of a break. Then I'm off for about a week and then the real fun begins. I'm doing loads and loads from the middle of this month until September. I'm not complaining, it will be good to make some real money.

I'm thinking of buying an iBook. Yes, I'm now officially Apple-mad. I've got my eye on the 12" model, though haven't completely discounted the 14" version. There's a £200 difference between the 2 and all your getting for the extra money is a slightly larger screen (at the same res), a slightly faster processor and a superdrive that can burn DVDs. The 12" model will burn CDs, so I don't think I can justify the price difference. I need to look at the both and see what I think, so a trip to the Regent Street Apple shop is definitely in my short term future.

I'm not going to be buying it that soon, perhaps in the next month or 2. It's got wi-fi built in, so it will connect to my wireless network without any fuss. It looks like a decent machine.

I did look at the PowerBooks as well, but they are quite pricey and I really don't need all that, since I already have my G5 iMac for the heavy duty stuff like recording music and editing DV video.

The iBook would be a luxury, I'm the first to admit it, but it would be a cool one. I could surf and write around the house, plus I could take it places. I could even find wi-fi hotspots around London and around the UK and around the world and it would be just so fucking cool.

I want one!

And I still want an iPod. They've just launched the updated 20 and 60gb models, both with colour screens. Very tempting.

Welcome geek-fuck-wit corner. Sorry, I really should be writing about drugs.

I love drugs and drugs love me. Dig it, fuckers!

I'm stoned right now. I'm always high. When people occasionally ask me if I'm stoned, I always reply, "no more than usual". Even when I sober. I'm rarely sober.

Turns out, the government cut out some really important bits of some paper on the results at their efforts to curb drug use. That's ok though, because some decent, thinking person who works in Whitehall was kind enough to leak it to the media.

In this report, it turns out that all the efforts made in the "war on drugs" have had no effect on the supply or use of drugs. Actually, I take that back, the cost of hard drugs like crack and smack has gone down while the purity and availability have gone up, up, UP. Likewise usage, which has also gone up.

Rather than being a twat and trying to summarise it for you, here's a handy link to the Guardian's take on the subject. Dig it, fuckers!

Here's the most telling bit, which I will quote directly:

"It says that more than 3 million people in the UK use illicit drugs every year and compares the 749 deaths annually from heroin and methadone with the 6,000 deaths from alcohol abuse and 100,000 from tobacco."

There's only one conclusion to draw from all of this and that's a simple one. Legalise everything! Tax it, control it, but take the profit away from dealers and watch the world change!

If drugs cost the same in London as they do in say Bogota or Kabul, your grannie wouldn't be getting mugged for her pension money. Do you like your car stereo? Want to keep it? Make drugs legal and cheap.

I'm happy to pay tax on my weed. I'd love to be able to walk into a shop and buy it with my hippy head held high!

How cool would that be, if London became like Amsterdam and you could enjoy a spliff and a cappucino in a nice cafe with your mates. Dare I dream the dream?

For now, no. I don't see it happening anytime soon. This silly government is even discussing reclassifying cannabis from the recently downgraded "C" back to "B". Pointless, utterly pointless.

But if that's the direction their moving in, then legalisation becomes less and less likely and tha blows big time.

Oh and here's a weird one for all of you to ponder...why in the world would someone look at 600 pages of my blog in one rather brief sitting?

Someone in Taiwan loaded 602 pages of this very blog in the span of about ten minutes. How weird is that?

I can only imagine someone hoovered up my entire blog, I just can't imagine why.

So if you're the mystery user that is so keen on me that you can't get enough, please get in touch. You can get me at northlondonhippy@yahoo.co.uk

I mean, shit, I know I'm totally diggable, but 602 pages is just a bit too wild for me! Perhaps they want to be the number one hippyfan, or even weirder, my first internet stalker!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Hey fuckers, so much to say, so little time!

First of all, don’t ask me why my blog is still fucked. I don’t have an answer. More than likely, you’ve had to scroll down the page rather a long way to reach my elegant prose.

Sorry, but don’t blame me, blame Blogger! I haven’t changed a single thing on my page, all this started when they added the photo uploading thing-a-ma-jig. And don’t blame the photo of my adorable kitten either, I was having this display problem before I posted it.

Ok, all that shit is out of the way, let’s move forward…

The 18th of July has taken on a special significance here in the UK…it’s the day that my beloved magic mushrooms become a Class “A” substance. As you may (or may not) know, shrooms are currently legal here in the UK, but thanks to the very silly government here, the party is coming to an end in 14 days. Boo fucking hoo!

Shroom retailers have gotten organised and are mounting a challenge to the law in the European Court, so there is a chance, however slim, that the law could be overturned. Cross your fucking fingers, fuckers!

You can still order them online and the final orders will go out on the 17th, but stocks are apparently starting to run low. If you want them kids, get your skates on and place an order today! I’m doing just that when I get home.

Yeah, I’m at work. Surprise, surprise.

Dull night, not much happening and I’m not complaining.

Dammit, I’m running out of steam already. It’s not that I don’t have more to say, because I do, I just don’t want to get started on anything intense right now. Soon though, as I need to get back into my hippy-groove.

Oh what’s the goddamn difference, no one reads this fucking shit any more. Remember when this blog used to be happening and ultra-cool? No? I don’t either, but people tell me it was, honest, I swear.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

So much for returning this week with a breathtaking post. So much for returning this week, until now. Sometimes fuckers, I’m the real fucker.

I really don’t know what to do. My motivation status gets lower and lower. As much as I wish to preserve this blog and my status as the northlondonhippy, I fear I’m fighting a losing battle. Ho hum.

Live8 fuckers! Did you watch it? According to the newspapers, 8 out of 10 people on the PLANET saw some of the concert coverage from somewhere. I saw lots of it myself, but sadly missed Green Day’s set in Berlin.

Most of what I saw was from London. The Who, Coldplay and U2 particularly stood out for me and Pink Floyd was a treat as well. I was never that much of a Floyd fan, but I was impressed with the quality of their set. It’s made me think I should have a copy of Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here.

But what about the goal of sorting out all the problems in Africa? Don’t you think a bunch of multi-millionaire musicians can fix everything? Of course they can! Since the concert ended, children in Africa aren’t starving any more, all the AIDS sufferers have been cured and there’s plenty of money for everyone!

Maybe not. Maybe Africa is too fucked to fix. Maybe if they discovered oil underneath Darfur in Sudan, we’d help end the evil civil war there.

Oh who really gives a rat’s ass about any of this. We’ve all got our own problems, why should we be worried about people we don’t even know? I’m sure you’ve got problems, lord knows I sure do.

I’ll tell you what, once my life is perfect, I’ll start worrying about everyone else.

My life will never be perfect. I’m so far away from perfect, I should send “perfect” a postcard. I’m not saying my life has turned to shit, but people keep handing me rolls of toilet paper. Ba-dum-bum.

But seriously folks, I gotta tell ya…

I’m at work tonight, which seems to be the only time I find to write anything here. I really should make some time at home. I really should get this blog back on track.

Did you ever wonder at what precise moment your life took a turn in the wrong direction? Do you think you can pinpoint the exact second when things in your life went south? And when did it get so far out of hand that you couldn’t recover and come back in the right direction?

I’ve been trying to work out the answer to that one here in my own miserable life myself. The truth is, for me, there was no “exact moment” but more of a gradual shift in the wrong direction. I can’t even be sure when this gradual shift began. I’d venture a guess: at the time of my birth.

Oh hippy, you are on a cuntfucker of a downer tonight. What’s your fucking problem?

How much time have you got?

Yep, I’m down, but not out. Not yet. The week is young!

I’ve had a bit of a turn-around at work, things have picked up dramatically this month and I’m now down to do lots of shifts. Money, money, money, who loves ya?

August is already looking good as well and I should at the very least equal or better my July totals. This hippy needs the dosh! Fuckers!

I’m tired, I’m bored, but I’m getting paid…one out of three ain’t so bad.

All things considered, I’d rather be on drugs. Lots of them.

I say that, but all I seem to do these days is get stoned. I haven’t shroomed in months and guess what? It looks like shrooming will come to a legal end in a couple of weeks. Here, let me provide you with a link from my favourite newspaper, the Guardian.

This time kids, it looks like the end is nigh. I’ll probably place one last order for some funny fungus, hopefully find some time to do them and then once that last batch is gone, bid a final farewell to my beloved shrooms.

Oh boo fucking hoo, illegal doesn’t mean unavailable, you know! There’s a big fuck-off market for shrooms in the UK, it won’t disappear, they will just be forced underground. I’m sure if someone is so inclined and properly motivated, it won’t be impossible to score them.

Speaking of scoring, my long term cannabis connection is shutting up shop very soon. That sucks the big, wet, hairy one! It means this hippy will be spliffless very soon. I’m not looking forward to it, but there you go. Perhaps you can help….

Do you have a fantastically reliable weed connection in north London? Does you connection stock only the finest, freshest and most potent skunkweed? If you’ve answered yes to those to questions, I want to hear from you! What I really want is an introduction to your excellent dealer.

I’m a great customer, regular, with cash in hand and a polite, yet pleasant attitude. I’m good for at least an ounce of fresh skunky bud or more every month. I’m the sort of customer your dealer would love to have on his books. You’d be doing me and your dealer an excellent favour!

Think I’m joking? Think again! When it comes to cannabis, this hippy never jokes, he’s always serious! Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway fuckers, I should stop with the drivel spouting, too much of a good thing might drive you all insane. I won’t make silly promises I can’t keep about coming back and actually impressing you, we all know it would just be a lie! Catch ya next time!

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