VISIT THE HIPPY'S NEW SITE: www.northlondonhippy.com Spend some time chilling out with the hippy...He used to be "the most shroomtastic stoner on the internet!" until the UK banned fresh magic mushrooms. He's still "the biggest internet celebrity you've never heard of!" He'll make you laugh, he'll make you think...he'll make you wish you were a hippy too!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Hey fuckers!

My continued neglect of you hippyfans is becoming too regular. There was a time when I posted here faithfully, at least once a day. My hippy-output recently has been more like once a week, which in real terms is absolute shite!

I’m still the hippy you all adore and maybe lust after just a little. I’m still the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of…but I’m not shroomtastic anymore! I’m still the hippy dammit, even if I don’t come online as often as I should!

I’ve thought about the future of this blog and I do want it to continue…it will continue, though the form of my online presence may change. More on that later.

I’ve put my heart & soul into this blog, my blood, sweat and spunk too. I don’t know if it shows, I don’t think many people read me anymore. Actually, I know they don’t. Somewhere along the line, I think I might have lost my spark.

Perhaps it’s all down to the British government and their silly move to reclassify my beloved magic mushrooms. Up until last July, they were legal and readily available to purchase and consume. Maybe there’s a correlation between their reclassification and my blog going down hill.

Let’s face facts; this blog has been in decline for some months now. It’s not just my non-participation, but my lack energy. Since July, I’ve been working too much. While my bank balance and credit card bills appreciate this very much, I’m constantly exhausted. I just don’t have the energy to generate entertaining, informative posts every day.

When I started this blog, way back in March 2003, I was unemployed, with no prospects and a serious weed and shroom habit. Today, I’m overemployed, still addicted to weed, but shroomless. Certainly my life has changed more than that?

Of course it has! It’s changed in all sorts of ways, both good and bad. Isn’t that what happens to everyone?

I could go through all the various ways my life has changed in nearly two years, but what fun would that be? If you really want to know badly enough, my entire archive lives just to the right on this page and you can read all the back entries. I wouldn’t complain if you did!

Life is change, change can be a good thing.

I’ve got a couple of hippylinks to provide you with, just to keep you up-to-date on the latest drug news. Both are from the Guardian, my favourite newspaper. Those cunts should really give me a weekly column! If I was getting paid for this shit, I would definitely have more stuff to say!

The first link is a rather detailed look at the current controversy surrounding the alleged link between cannabis and psychosis. I say “alleged” because my view has always been simple, weed doesn’t make anyone crazy, who wasn’t already crazy to begin with! The Guardian, of course, makes this point far more elegantly than I ever could, so why not read their version RIGHT HERE.

The other story concerns my new favourite legal high, piperazine or BZP, which is gaining in popularity here in the UK. It's a decent write-up, worth reading if you're considering trying these new party drugs. You can check out the Guardian article by clicking on ON THESE WORDS. Now that it’s made the mainstream press, you can bet it won’t be too long before the Whitehall cunts ban this one too! Silly, silly, SILLY!

I’m still digging P.E.P. pills, they’re cheap, consistent, easy to get and really do give you a buzz. Don’t think of them as an ecstasy substitute, because if that’s what you’re expecting, you will be disappointed. Instead, think of it as a brand new drug, which I suppose it actually is. Check them out, maybe you’ll like them too. Or maybe you’ll think they’re shit, but for a fiver, you can’t go wrong!

I’m unapologetic when it comes to drugs. Everyone digs them, everyone does them! Anyone who denies it, is lying to you. Anyone who ain’t lying, is just dull. Yawn.

That’s not true, I’m sure there are some people, somewhere, living a fulfilling and satisfying drug free life. I just hope they stay the fuck away from me!

For most of us, life sucks. We all lie to ourselves and try to convince ourselves otherwise, but if you’re telling the truth, the truth is, life sucks! Most days, it’s just a slog to get through to the next one. I understand this; I set my expectations low and my tolerance HIGH. If it weren’t for weed, I probably would have topped myself years ago. If you find something that works for you, you stick with it. Drugs work for me!

I could murder a spliff right now, but I’m at work and woefully sober. I’ll be home in about 4 hours and a juicy joint awaits. I can hang on till then, I don’t have a choice!

Yeah, I’m at work, which seems to be the only time I do any blogging. I’m tired and it’s only my first night of six. It’s going to be a long week, if I don’t kill any of my colleagues, I should be awarded humanitarian of the year. I should be awarded something anyway. How about hippy of the year? It’s not like there’s any competition!

We’ve got a fortnight left in 2005. 2005 sucked, 2004 sucked even more, so I guess 2005 was better. So what? Soon it will be 2006 and we’ll all still be sucking on shit sandwiches. So what?

So! It’s time for my hippy end of the year review!

I was stoned for most of the year and don’t remember much of it. If only life were that easy! Sadly, I do recall lots of it!

Best albums of the year as chosen by the hippy:
- Green Day: American Idiot (yes, I know it came out in 2004, so what?)
- The Killers – Hot Fuss – wicked debut, every song’s a winner
- Hard-Fi – Stars of CCTV – best new British act, suburban angst and desperation

Best films
- fuck knows, I never go to the cinema. Ask me what’s on SKY movies!

Best TV shows:
- Veronica Mars – better than you would ever expect!
- Doctor Who – well written & produced, a real treat!
- Six Feet Under – sorry to see it go, but endings are a part of life as this show showed.
- The Thick of It – British satire at it’s best
- Curb Your Enthusiasm – funniest fucking thing on TV

As you can see, I like television and if I was more awake, would have listed even more programmes.

God, I’m tired tonight!

Mainly, 2005 for me was the year of the major purchase and gadgets. I spent the last year joining the 21st century. I’ve bought:

- A pre-owned Toyota Yaris - vroom, vroom, it's small and cheap to run!
- An Apple iMac 20” G5 – the sexy flat panel computer
- An Apple 12” iBook – the iMac’s baby brother
- A wi-fi network consisting of a NetGear router and Apple Airport Express
- A La Cie 500gb firewire hard drive – external storage at its finest.
- A Sony HC-42E camcorder – widescreen, DV, diggable
- Various software including Final Cut Express and Logic Express
- An Edirol UA-25 USB audio interface
- A 5th Gen iPod (w/video) – a great piece of kit
- A TomTom One satnav GPS – my xmas pressie from Mrs. H

I’ve only had the TomTom a couple of days and yes I know it’s not xmas yet! So far, I’m blown away at how good this new toy is. It knows where I am and where I want to go and it tells me how to get there! How fucking cool is that? It’s ice-fucking-cold! It really is terribly clever and so easy to use! GPS has never been cheaper, so if you’ve been thinking about it, go for it! It’s a must have device for the modern driver!

My brand of the year is easy, it’s Apple. I’ve become a convert to the cult of Cupertino this year and I’m glad! I’ll hopefully never own another PC running nasty old Windows! OS X rocks, Apple’s rock! Spend the extra, get the better system!

As you might have gathered from my brief retrospective of the previous year, this will most likely be my last posting on this blog for 2005. I’ve decided to give myself a wee rest from blogging. Don’t worry, I will return in the New Year, rested, refreshed and ready to rock your world!

I’d rather take some time off, than continue providing you with an inferior product…!

Now the really exciting news is I’m mulling over a change in medium. I won’t leave the net, as no traditional media outlet wants to let the hippy loose, but I am considering a move to podcasting. My novelty hippyvoice is ready for its debut.

I’m making no promises, a weekly 10 minute podcast might be beyond my scope. Can I really talk for 10 minutes and keep you all entertained? Only time will tell. I wonder if anyone would even bother to download it. Would you?

So there you have it, this hippy’s taking a break. Unless something significant happens, I won’t be back until the first week of the New Year. I want to take this opportunity to wish all my hippyfans (at least those of you who still read this drivel) a very happy holiday season. I hope Santa brings you everything you asked for, and a whole lot more and I hope your New Year’s Eve sees you face down in the gutter, giggling your head off!

And as for me, well, whether I’m blogging my life away, every night and every, or not, I’m still and will always be the one, the only, northlondonhippy!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Yep, I’m still here. Reports of my internet death have been greatly exaggerated.

I’m still vacillating with regards to my continued participation in this particular blog.

I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I’d like to reignite my blogging fire, but I don’t know how. Part of me feels like I’ve hit a brick wall.

I do think of things to write about, but they still tend to come at awkward times, like when I’m drifting off to sleep. That’s no good to anyone!

Have I lost my enthusiasm? Have I lost my spark? Am I a hippy has-been? Or a never-was?

I don’t have the answers either. I can barely think of the questions.

Sometimes, life is like this, where you don’t know if you’re coming or going…

That makes me think of an old joke….

Why did god make piss yellow and semen white?

So you could always tell whether you’re coming or going!

Did ya get it? Did ya?

Nevermind.

Has it really come to this? Old, recycled jokes that I first heard as a teenager? Oh dear.

Remember when this blog was about drugs and blowjobs? Those were the days!

I tried the “Pulsate Chill Pill” last weekend and I was so underwhelmed by them that I forgot to post my review.

I took one, followed by a second around 2 hours later. Yes, they had an effect, but I wasn’t that impressed. I can tell you right now, I prefer the P.E.P pills much more. "Twisted" are my favourites!

Also, the “Pulsate Chill Pill” is more expensive than P.E.P.s…Pulsates cost a fiver a tab, while P.E.P. pills cost a fiver for two. Max recommended dose for both is 3 pills, so the P.E.P.s are much more cost effective.

Of course, proper MDMA “E’s” allegedly sell for 50p a pop in some parts of the UK, so going the legal route, while safer, is much more expensive. Since I don’t do proper E’s anymore, there my only option.

Again, the magic ingredient is piperazine which is an extract of good old black pepper. That’s right, the stuff you put on food that can make you sneeze! Ain’t modern chemistry grand!

Ok, so I thought of something to say. I know lots of people use this blog as a reference for all things drug related, so I guess I’m providing a public service to the masses!

Why doesn’t someone hire me to be their drug correspondent? I’d love my own column in the Guardian or a live radio call in show. Is anyone brave enough to do this? Has anyone got the balls to give me some airtime? I fucking doubt it! Creative thinking and the media don’t go together very well.

I’ll tell you something for nothing, fuckers. I’d get rocking ratings, especially if I got an overnight time slot on the radio. I’m a night person anyway and I’d be able to attract all the really weird people and just imagine the phone-ins!

“Hello caller, what the fuck have you got to say?” says the hippy.

Caller: “I’m really high!”

Hippy: “Me too!”

Hippy & caller: “Yipppeee!”

It would be award winning radio! I’d be rich, I’d be famous and I’d being getting blown by every hot woman in Britain!

So if you’re a highflying programme director on a London-based radio station, look no further than me for the next big thing in broadcasting! You’ll go down in history as the genius who discovered the northlondonhippy!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Greetings you lovely hippyfans! Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, not posting enough again. Change the record, hippy!

What I should be doing is coming here to write about something with a point. I have no point tonight. Look at me, I’m pointless!

Let’s face it; it gets pretty fucking dull around here if all I do is log in and write about working all the time, blah, blah, blah. It’s dull. No wonder you’ve all abandoned me again!

Yes, that’s right. My visitor numbers are hovering just above zero at the moment. Only just. That sucks.

This blog used to be the most happening site on the ‘net and I was the biggest internet celebrity that you’ve never heard of. Where did I go wrong?

Oh I could rant on about Iraq for pages and pages. I could talk about the federal marshals clipping some poor mentally ill fucker in Miami, ala the Brazilian Stockwell shooting here. I could even tell you where I was when John Lennon was killed in NYC. Basically, I could spout on about anything.

But I won’t.

Instead, I’m wondering if the northlondonhippy is past his sell-by date. Is it finally time for me to hang up my hippy hat? As much as I hope this is not true, judging by my participation and yours, it might be impossible to deny.

What’s a poor hippy to do? I guess it might be time to consider my options.

I could give up completely; just walk away and never be the hippy again. That would make me sad.

I could take a wee break, re-assess my options and take a decision later. That could re-energise me.

Or I could just get back into the swing of things, and become the blogging mad dynamo that I used to be. How likely is that?

I don’t know what to do.

The smartest thing I could probably do is take the remainder of the year off, which is about three weeks. I don’t have to decide right now!

I’ve got another project I’m working on which is about to shift gears and take up more of my time. Perhaps that’s the route I should take. Spend the next few weeks working exclusively on that and not worry about being the hippy.

I just don’t know. I need drugs to help guide me to the right decision. Got any?

Sunday, December 04, 2005

But are we having fun yet?

I sure am!

It’s Saturday night and I’m quite comfortably desk-bound in my office. I’ve got a few hours left, but I’ve already done everything, short of dotting a few “I’s” and crossing some “T’s”.

Unless something bad happens.

Something bad always happens, but not tonight, oh no! If I close my eyes, my ass is already planted in the driver’s seat of my tiny little Yaris and I’m heading towards my north London lair. Yipppeee to that motherfuckers!

I’m grooving to my brand new 60gb, black iPod (with video) as I write. I’ve switched it to “shuffle” and I’m letting it surprise me with songs from my extensive library of popular music.

I’m digging my iPod, it is extraordinarily cool! I’ve been playing with a function on iTunes, called “smart playlists”, where you set rules and it filters your library accordingly. Suppose you only wanted to hear Led Zepplin songs that you’ve rated 3-stars or above? No problem, it can do that. It can do anything you can think of. It’s fucking cool, but then so am I. It’s a match made in north London!

I’ve got less than four hours left before I can leave and I can’t wait. I’m off for almost precisely 60 hours. Yipppeee fuckers! If I’m not careful, I could end up sleeping through a reasonable amount of that time. I can’t do that, no, no, no!

Instead, when I get home on Sunday, I’m going to neck a couple “Pulsate Chill Pills” and stay up all goddamn day! Triple yipppeee to that! If I can make till midnight on Sunday, I’ll be a happy hippy. It will be party-time, hippy-stylie!

Don’t you party and get wasted on a Sunday morning? Doesn’t everyone? You gotta have your fun where you can, so Sunday morning it is for me.

You didn’t think I was gonna blow my morning in some church, listening to a bunch of fairytale lies, did you? Get real fuckers!

Monday, my plans are far less exciting. I’m doing my taxes. Yawn. I’ve been procrastinating for months and months. And months. And months. You get the idea. My accountant phoned me the other day, he sounded angry. He needs my expenses. Now!

Holy mother of fuck, I suck at grown-up stuff like taxes. Anything admin related, paperwork, forms, etc and I’m useless. Discipline is what I’ve always lacked, when it comes to just about anything!

Blogging is the one thing I seem to actually stick with. I know I haven’t been posting that frequently lately, but I’m still here. I’m informing, I’m entertaining, and I’m changing your goddamn life!

I’ve been researching GPS units and I’ve come to a conclusion. They are essential pieces of kit that every self-respecting driver should own. They’re also much cheaper than they’ve ever been!

The model that seems to be to the best value for money at the moment, on the entry-level end of the scale, is the “TomTom One”, which lists for around £280, but is on sale at Argos for an amazing £223.99, which is the bargain of the fucking century!

The “TomTom One” is very well reviewed and sports the latest in satellite reception technology. If TomTom wanted to send me a free one, just for mentioning it here in the internet’s most popular blog, I wouldn’t refuse. Actually, I’d do a little happy dance if they did!

I’ve got a better chance of sprouting a tail and swinging from a tree with it than I do of getting any free shit from anyone, ever! Go on, prove me wrong!

Perhaps Santa is reading this. He’s gotta get me something for Jesus’s birthday, why not the TomTom One? Here Santa, I’ll make life easier for you. You must have loads to do before the big day. Why not just click HERE.

Life is one long, non-stop rock and roll party and we’re all invited! Yipppeee to that motherfuckers! Let the games begin!

Go on, stay cool, stay high, stay hippyfans eternally!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Hey fuckers!

The hippy’s in the house!

Not your house, obviously, or you’d be hitting the silent alarm and heading for your “panic room”. I’m not even in my own house, I’m at work. Though, technically, I probably spend more time here in the office than I do in my own abode, so maybe this is home…?

That’s a terrifying thought!

I’m a whore, I don’t say “no”. Without really realising it, I’ve suddenly found myself with an overwhelming amount of work this month…17 shifts, plus an 18th on the night of the first of January. Yikes!

Ok, so it will be a bumper payday come next month, but so what? With the purchase of my shiny, black 60gb iPod (with video), I now own everything I need!

Except for a GPS unit for my car and Mrs. Hippy won’t let me have one! I’m sure this is just her cunning ploy to keep me off-balance so she can surprise me with one on Jesus’s birthday! They’ve gotten so cheap now, how could she not want me to have one? I’ve seen one model as low as 167 squid, a fucking bargain for fucking bargain hunters everywhere!

You see, here’s the thing: My sense of direction is rubbish and I have a long and celebrated history of getting lost while driving. Case in point, last February I had to drive a scant five miles from my home for an appointment. It should have taken me 20 minutes tops, but instead it took me nearly 2 hours! And it cost me in petrol and grey hairs too! Fuckers!

My problem with navigation is simple: I’m useless with maps. They confuse me. Here’s a helpful hippy hint, if you have problems like this. Toss the map out the window and allow your cosmic connection to the universe to guide you.

Think that sounds silly? It’s no sillier than getting lost with a map in your hands! My zen like approach, if I can remain calm, normally serves me very well. Naturally, a GPS unit would be better than my mysterious ways. I really, really want one!

Here’s the thing: If I had a GPS, I’d be more tempted to go more places, do more things…maybe even drop in unexpectedly at your house even. Don’t worry, I won’t touch up your little sister, unless she’s over 16, in which case, look the fuck out! Oh and hide the good drugs too. Grrrrrrrrrr!

I haven’t mentioned my cock in a while. It sends its regards and asks to be sucked regularly.

Where’d that come from?

I’ve found a new herbal high that I’m planning on sampling, perhaps as early as Sunday. It’s called the “Pulsate Chill Pill” and I’d provide a helpful hippylink, but I’m at work and avoid my legal high websites when I’m here, just in case. Google will bring you straight to my source, which is EDIT – my fav headshop website!

The really fucking groovy thing about these new pills is that they were developed and endorsed by the New Zealand government! Harm minimalisation solution is what they call it. The word from the kids is that these are the best of the “E” substitutes. I’ll be the fucking judge of that! I’ve read that these are so good, they’re actually outselling real MDMA in Holland, which if true, is pretty amazing!

They’re a fiver a pill, which ain’t cheap and the maximum dose is three (in a four hour period, so that's 2 hours between each one). Let’s face it, real “E’s” can be dodgy. you don’t know what’s in them; how strong they are; nothing.

With these “chill pills” you know exactly what you’re getting and at what dosage. The main ingredient with these is again Piperazine, the same as those P.E.P. pills I’ve been digging lately. It's an extract of black pepper and used medically to treat tapeworm. Yuck.

I finish this run of work on Sunday morning and I’m back on Tuesday night – which in real terms is like a day and a half off. If I want to make the most of my free time, I think taking these might make sense, especially if they keep me up all damn day!

Oh, the other thing I bought is something called Salvia Lotus, which is a blend of Salvia extract and Blue Lotus flower extract. I’ve actually not experimented with salvia extract before, so I’m looking forward to it. I tried smoking the leaf, but I wasn’t very impressed. I’ve mentioned the blue lotus flowers here before and I’ve really enjoyed the effects, so I’m sure the extract will be even better.

Fucking hell, now I’ve got some proper work to do. And I thought I could spend the rest of my shift spewing my special brand of drivel! Catch ya next time, my beloved hippyfans and fuckers alike!

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